All In The Mind
by acevolkner
Summary: Liara waited two years for Shepard to come back from the dead. Now the Reapers are gone, it's Shepard's turn step up to the plate. Awful summary. Worse title. More inside. Same universe as my other story. Part of the Scarlet Sapphire series. Rated T for safety.
1. An End Once And For All

******::ll:: All these toys belong to Bioware; I just smush them together and make kissy noises. ::ll::**  


**A/N - **Howdy! Sorry for the vague synopsis thing above. This started out as one idea, then I just decided to incorporate other bits of ideas to make a big ol' pot of ideas. I don't know how it's going to turn out.

This isn't, or at least, I don't think it's a fix it fic. I'm trying to keep as close to canon as possible following the ending of ME3. Honestly, I didn't HATE the ending like most of the internet did. I mean, I didn't like it, but then I had decided back in January that I'd never like any ending purely because it was an end to the trilogy. Also, just in case future people read this (I, for one, welcome our new insect overlords. Your mandibles are to die for), I'm scribbling before the Extended Cut DLC comes out, just in case it renders this story useless. :)

The only huge thing I'm changing is the Normandy not crashing on some random planet. For those interested;

Red/Destroy Ending - In my mind the Catalyst is a filthy little lying liar who lies, trying to convince you to go with the other two options and while all the Reapers still bite it, the Geth, EDI and the Relays suffer no long term damage. I could write an essay explaining my thinking so for simplicities sake, I'm going to be super vague with these bits and try to keep mentioning them to a minimum, at least for now.

My main motivation, if that's what you want to call it, stems from Liara having to wait to years for Shepard to return in ME2, what if the tables were turned and Shep was the one left in the lurch? Also, I wanted to try and play about with melding, in the non sexy sense.

Plus, y'know, I want my blue babies, dammit.

It's because of this, my main focus isn't on the ending itself, it just seemed the easiest place to insert this story into the main line. Although depending on how things go, I might take the opportunity to explore the Galaxy post-Reaper.

Again, tell me what you think, especially if it's awful. Otherwise I'll just continue to fill your life with rubbish dribble and no one wants that. Help me to help you to help me to help you to help oh god I've gone all cross eyed.

**ALSO:** I am once again struggling with the Rating, Categories and Title for this fic, so if you've got any suggestions I'd love to hear them.

So ja, that's enough from me. On with the show :_)  
_

* * *

v-v-v-v-v-v

She fired the last few shots from her pistol, cracking the casing of the Crucible. Small explosions sputtered inside the contraption. Shepard could only stare, enraptured.

This was it.

For the past three years, everything she had fought for, died for., it all ended here. She'd be lying if she said she wasn't a little bitter. After all, she had given more than most to save this galaxy and all who inhabited it. And what had she gotten out of it?

Her death had caused more problems than she could have imagined. While the council had never fully trusted her, not that she thought they ever would, others had turned their backs in disgust or in fear. Her friends. The Alliance.

_Liara_.

Nearly losing the Asari had almost destroyed Shepard, worse than the Collectors ever could. However, by some luck, be it the planets aligning, Spirits or some Goddess, whatever you wanted to call it, they had found each other again. There were times, especially near the end where Shepard had very nearly given in. After Earth, Palaven, Thessia, her only saving grace had been Liara, once more pulling her back from the dark places.

As the war wore on, she found it difficult to care. She had felt numb, hopeless. Death just became a number, a constant companion. But then she thought about Liara. She thought about her, them, together, safe. She had joked about little blue children before but beneath the veneer, Shepard was deadly serious. For once she could imagine a life outside the Alliance. Just nice. Just happy. That thought had given her something to live for.

So it was only natural the universe demand she die, _again_. That was what Shepard truly resented. She had given so much, so that everyone else could live and be happy. But what about her? Where was her happily ever after?

She pictured Liara, now, alone. She had seen what her death had done to the Asari first hand. Even now that they were together again, Shepard still felt the occasional pangs of her pain and grief. During their melds, the two years of Shepard's absence were walled off tightly, a cold bitter corner in Liara's otherwise warm and loving mind. Neither Human or Asari were to blame for it, of course, that fell solely on the Reapers. But those two years were still there, a poisonous lump of hurt that Shepard worried would never fully disappear.

_She couldn't do that to Liara. Not again. _

_I'm always coming back_.

Shepard broke out of her reverie.

_She was always coming back_.

She looked at the Crucible. Her part was done. If she stayed, she would surely die in the explosion. But she had no reason to stay_. _

_I'm coming back. _

Shepard set off back down the walk way at a stunted pace. Her ankle gave an angry twang as her hip threatened to buckle. Something was sprained. A good few somethings were sprained, or worse. Clenching her teeth, she overrode the elevator controls and hopped down onto the quickly descending platform. Shepard gasped as pain shot into her spine. _Great_. Now she could add back pain to her list of maladies. _Maybe I'll get a bingo_.

She hobbled past two bodies and let out a heavy sigh as she regarded Anderson. _I'd take you if I could but I can't stop. Not now. I promised. _

Shepard heard the explosions overhead, growing in size. Continuing down the corridor, the stench of rotting corpses filled her nostrils. She gave a small wretch at the smell, aided in part by the sharp pains ricocheting around her body.

The light from the beam grew brighter as the Commander moved closer. She increased the urgency of her shuffling as heat from the explosions tickled the back of her neck. Shepard's last movements were a sloppy half stumble, half jump as the explosion caught up with her, propelling her off her feet and sending her clumsily somersaulting into the beam, praying it was two-way.

_I'm coming back._

* * *

The quiet of the battlefield was punctuated by the soft, steady hum of the transport beam centred at its foot as sounds of distant struggles were muffled by the walls of the surrounding crater. Garrus Vakarian sat up in a daze.

Growing up he had always been told that Turians didn't duck because it was an evolutionary weakness. _My ass. It would've come in handy ten minutes ago._ He nursed his narrow waist gingerly, flinching as he felt an ooze escape the tender flesh. The only non-plated part of his body and it takes the first chunk of shrapnel it can get. _Typical_.

Taking stock of the rest of his body, he was relieved to find only small gouges out of his plates. Blood had been drawn and he was sure his fringe had been chipped, but all in all, he was doing a damn sight better than the poor bastards that surrounded him. It was with a sinking in his gut he realised he was most likely the only living thing on the field.

He remembered Harbinger, the beams. Shepard. _Spirits, Shepard_. He had watched as she had taken what looked like a direct hit before the Mako to his right exploded violently under fire of its own, sending him flying. _Not like this. We were so close. She can't just die. Not now._ He shuddered, looking up to the sky.

He was distracted as the transport beam that they had fought so hard to reach began pulsing, the hum grew louder, stronger. He squinted, only to recoil slightly, startled by what he saw. A body flew out with force, careening through the air, like a ragdoll, before landing with an audible thump in a pile of rubble. He barely had time to process the sight before a red wave of electricity swept the land, washing over anything and everything. It tickled as it brushed his skin. He sat for a few more seconds, unsure if he was slowly going insane, before a cough spluttered into a moan from the rubble. He jolted into action, regretting it instantly as his waist flaring in pain. Garrus set off with renewed tentativeness.

_Someone else was alive. That was good news. And right now, he'd take all the good news he could get._

* * *

Shepard landed unceremoniously on the rubble, noting the audible crack and stab of pain in her torso. _There's still a few bones in my ear that you've haven't mangled yet. _There was a warm trickling and loud ringing that seemed to encompass the right side of her head. She attempted a chuckle, which came out as a strangled groan. _Of course not_.

Her vision blurred as a ball of red light illuminated the sky, hurtling out in all directions. For the second it passed over her, Shepard felt calm, relaxed. It had been an age since something hadn't been hurting inside her. It was nice. She could get used to this. As quickly as it had appeared, it was gone, and the pain seeped through once more.

She was vaguely aware of a figure standing above her, examining her through sharp blue eyes.

"That's the ugliest chicken I've ever seen." She rasped, her voice hoarse.

"Says the bald monkey that's more purple than pink at the minute?" he chuckled. Shepard only gave an exaggerated sigh.

"We've been through this Garrus; I'm not a monkey. I'm an ape-"

"- Monkey's have tails. I know."

"So are you going to be a gentleman and haul your old CO's ass up anytime soon?"

"It wouldn't be the first time." He finished, offering a claw. Stumbling to her feet and down onto solid ground, she looked up at Garrus, before giving an awkward hug. He returned the embrace delicately, not wanting to cause further damage. They stood for a minute, before the Turian broke the silence.

"Did you do it?"

"I think so. I mean, I shot it and it exploded. That's usually a good sign for me."

"I can't argue with results." He said as the pair parted. Shepard glanced around her surroundings.

Aware she was only armed with a dud pistol, Shepard was relieved to find her Claymore shotgun, which had been blown from her hand in the final assault, suffering little else than some chipped paint. The pair made their way back to the rendezvous, hoping the others were already there.

It was foolish to think everyone she had cared about survived, but a small part of the Commander clung on to the hope that they had. _She only took on the best. And they were the best for a reason. _Garrus stopped her from getting swarmed by her thoughts. He gave her a side glance.

"How're you feeling?"

"Like I just downed a yard of Ryncol. Again." The Turian only laughed.

"Say what you want about Cerberus, but at least they put out top quality products. I wouldn't be surprised if you were rigged to win back the cost of that Lazarus Project through drunken bets alone. That was some night."

She smirked at the memory. In truth, it actually didn't feel that different from her Ryncol induced hangover. Touching her side, she was relieved to find the blood had become sticky and congealed. She was also aware of an unnatural heated thrum coming from her abdomen, as a faint orange glow emanated from it, in addition to smaller pockets of synthetic warmth that radiated throughout her body.

Her cybernetics were in overdrive, healing her body at several times the speed it would take a regular human. Even in the short time she had been talking to Garrus, Shepard felt markedly better than she had landing in the rubble. As long as she didn't do any further damage or lose any more blood, she would make a full recovery with Doctor Chakwas' help.

She grimaced at the thought of the Doctor. At that moment, Shepard was never more thankful for the Hippocratic Oath; otherwise she was certain the good doctor would throttle the Commander for taking so little care of her body.

The pair gingerly made their way up the side of the crater, as the noise of a nearby battle became clearer. People were still fighting. People were still alive. Hope flickered through Shepard, giving her a burst of adrenaline as she cleared the crest and moved towards the sound.

_I promised you. I keep my promises._

_I'm coming back._


	2. Lost Without You

__**A/N - **

Decides to finally write epilogue fic and get it out before DLC comes out  
Day later bioware announce Ending DLC comes out on June 26th.  
mfw ಠ.ಠ

*sigh* Oh well. It'll take more than that to stop me. As for all y'all, you have no idea how beaming I was last night from all your kind words. I can't thank you enough, really.

To those that asked - I was unsure whether to include this in my Red/Alex canon, but I think I will. Shouldn't change much for now, but might make a few stuff more important down the line. so yeah, awesome!

Other than that, thanks to thedeadflag once more for spotting my mistakes, really appreciate it!

Onward!

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* * *

_By the Goddess, _she had never felt tiredness like it_._

The battle was heated and erratic. But they were winning. In the distance, Liara saw Reapers floating, bringing death and destruction to everything their lasers grazed.

Shortly beforehand, she had seen Harbinger, the largest of his kind, easily dwarfing other Reapers, float by above them, ignoring them, flying in direction of the transport beam, in the direction of Hammer team.

_In Shepard's direction_.

She muttered under breath, praying for the Goddess to keep Shepard safe. If ever there was time for a miracle, it was now. To her left, she sent out a singularity, stopping Tali from being overwhelmed by several husks and a marauder. Liara heard the scream of a Banshee off in the distance and hoped it did not choose to come in this direction. _That was all they needed right now._

Liara was by no means squeamish and few things worried her after Shepard's two year... _hiatus_. However, since she had first seen them, Banshees had the ability to burrow under her skin and light a primal fear deep within the Asari, bypassing all rationale and reasoning, terrifying her to her very core.

She turned throwing up a barrier, deflecting a marauder's fire from peppering Lt Vega as he laid waste to a crippled brute, halting its advances. Liara paused for a moment, lowering her gun.

She shivered as something brushed against her mind, wanting access. A wave of nausea passed over her. On reflection it had been stupid, that parting gift. A few last precious moments with Shepard she could commit to memory in the likely event she didn't come back.

Not that Liara doubted Shepard's ability to keep her promises, but the enormity of the situation left little room for wishful thinking. And now she was having a baby. _Alone_. It hadn't even been a conscious decision, she thought, not really. When Liara and Shepard had melded that last time, the urge to remain together, as one, was overwhelming. Shepard had wanted it just as much as her.

But she hadn't even realised what had happened until Shepard had left, when she felt a stirring in the back of her mind, as new life formed within her, looking for reassurance and comfort. But she couldn't provide that, not now. To lose herself in a meld with the child would leave not only the Asari open, but her squad, her friends.

Liara did not regret the child, her one remaining piece of Shepard, but she had to admit it was a foolish move. She closed her eyes, gently brushing the probing tendrils from her mind, feeling confusion emanate from it as it subsided.

_I'm sorry but I can't. Not yet. _She let out a barely audible whimper, searching her own mind for reassurance. _If only Shepard were here, fighting alongside them. _

Liara felt, as well as saw, a crimson light drench the area. _The Reapers had found them. _She looked up to see no Reapers in the skies above. Instead, there was a pinprick of red thundering toward them. Liara held her breath as they were bathed scarlet fire.

It was a strange sensation, _cleansing_. An eerie silence fell. As her eyes readjusted to the darkness, she saw Reapers in the distance sputter and freeze, crackling with red energy, and fell. Her eyes widened in disbelief.

_They were gone? She did it? _Tears stung her eyes, and looking around, Liara saw everyone, husks and humans alike just as dumbfounded as she was. For a moment they simply blinked at one another before a piercing shriek shattered the silence. Though the Reapers were down, their minions, their _abominations_, were not.

Picking up their assault, marauders and husks attacked with an erratic fervour. Any semblance of strategy had been wiped out with their overlords. Now it was a free for all. The shrieking continued, louder, closer. Swarmed by individual pockets of husks, there was little hope of team work as the squad struggled to hold out against the horde.

Liara was suddenly struck by just how overwhelmingly tired she was getting. Her singularities were becoming increasingly ineffectual. She was down to her last heat sink.

_Not now. Goddess, not now. _She laughed bitterly. _Shepard, I need you. _The shrieking became incessant, as the soft brushes and probes tickled the back of her mind once more. She would not last much longer.

_Shepard._

"Shepard?" she rasped. At the top of the nearby mound two figures stood watching the fight. One stood at six and half feet with an oddly dainty waist and familiar crest atop his head; the unmistakable silhouette of a Turian, but it was the other shape caused a lump in Liara's throat. The second figure was equally, if not more so, covered in grime, dirt and blood. Red hair framed electrifying emerald eyes that the Asari swore were glowing.

A different type of tiredness suddenly engulfed Liara as she fell to her knees. Whereas normally her body beckoned her into rest, she found her heart racing as the delicate probing in her mind was tore away without care, replaced by hungry, voracious digs. It stung.

The world around her became muffled as the pain in her mind intensified and unbridled fear grew in her gut. Fear that was not wholly her own. Liara found herself unable to move from her kneeling position and looked up to the two figures watching over the scene. She heard Shepard shout and watched as she bound down the hill awkwardly, limbs wobbling at almost comical angles.

But Liara couldn't find it within her to worry about Shepard as talons pierced her skull, slicing deep gashes down the side of her cheeks and through her crest. At the same time, thick, dark vines, strong and unforgiving, thrust into her mind, ripping and tearing at her very core. She felt her head twist and stared into the two black, unfeeling, monstrous eyes of the Banshee. Liara's last memory was the rotting flesh of its maw as it drenched her in the hot wave of rancid breath, before she lost herself to the darkness.

* * *

Shepard and Garrus stood at the crest of the hill, surveying the scene below them. Here was her crew, fighting still. _They were alive. Thank god, they were alive. _She spotted Liara and her heart leapt. _It was going to be okay._ She beamed as their efforts finally registered in her mind. _We did it. _Her expression faded to concern as Liara stumbled. _She must be exhausted_.

Liara glanced up and Shepard felt their gaze connect as she felt the sting of tears in her eyes. Movement behind the Asari drew the Commander's attention. Shepard's face contorted in an unholy mixture of anger and fear as the Banshee advanced, unseen by any of the combatants.

It grabbed Liara around her crest and gave an ungodly shriek as it tore its way into the her mind. Shepard let out a strangled cry and bounded down the hill, her body alight with pain, as several joints threatened to snap. Garrus raised his rifle, too injured himself to join the rush. Several Husks that had noticed the unguarded human toppling down the hill moved to amek short work of her. Each fell with a single bolt from the Turian sniper.

Pumping her shotgun, Shepard was closing the gap between herself, the abomination and Liara's terrifyingly limp body. Tears streaked down the Commanders face, her skin glittered with orange cracks as she forced her body to its limits. She threw herself at the Banshee, thrusting the barrel of her shotgun into the side of its face. She pulled the trigger.

Shepard felt a sickening crack as the recoil sent fractures searing through her bones. Grey and purple exploded from the space the Banshee's head had moments before occupied. Three bodies flopped on the ground unceremoniously, with only one making an effort to get up. Shaking, Shepard hauled herself into a sitting position and struggled to cradle Liara in her remaining good arm.

The Asari was shivering violently, her eyes black and she was whimpering, helpless. Shepard examined Liara's face. What was normally full, beautiful, and blooming with love, was now sunken, hollow and pale, as if made from wax.

"Liara, sweetie, it's okay, I'm here." Shepard whispered, gripping her lover tightly.

"Sh-Shepard?" The Asari reached out a hand, blindly feeling for the Commander's face. Shepard nuzzled her cheek into the groping palm. Tears fell from Liara's still blackened eyes.

"You came back?"

"I promised, didn't I?" Shepard fought the lump forming in her throat.

"You're safe now, relax. Nothing's going to harm you, not anymore. Not while I'm here."

"It hurts." Liara said weakly, her arms gripping her abdomen.

"What does?"

"Everything."

Shepard gave a hollow laugh.

"Come on, stay with me, until we can get you help, get Chakwas."

The Asari only whimpered in pain.

"_No_, come on, now. Hold on. Remember our conversation? The little blue children, Li? I don't want them without you."

Liara smiled faintly, fresh tears cascading down her bloodied face.

"About that-"she started.

"No, no words, it's okay. Plenty time for talk later." Shepard tried to look reassuring even though she doubted the Asari could see anything through her opaque eyes.

"N-no, Shepard, listen. I- we-"She spluttered violently, convulsing.

_Her mind was breaking. Everything was falling around her_. She felt pain. She saw pain. Heard pain. Smelled pain. She _was_ pain.

_Pain. _

_Only pain_.

The tickling in the back of her mind returned, soft but frantic. She could feel fear and terror not wholly her own once more. It was looking for comfort but she gave it pain_. _

_Only pain. _

Her senses started to leave her, filled only by a jumble of emotions. Rational thought collapsed in on itself. She hadn't been this scared since she was a child.

_Fear. _

The tickling was incessant, panicking.

_**Leave me alone**__._ It wouldn't leave. Its fear fed her own, in turn amplifying the growing terror, reverberating between the two.

_Fear_.

_Fear and Pain_.

The screech of the Banshee rattled through her mind, louder and louder, never stopping for breath.

_Make it stop, please make it stop_.

The tickling was now scratching, hungry for touch, for reassurance. _**No**_. _Go away, __**leave me alone**_**.** She batted it away, tried to lash out at the sound, the fear. But it was still there.

_Only pain._

_And then, nothing._

Liara's head lolled back. For a second Shepard stared in horror, assuming the worst. She wrenched her broken arm up to the Liara's face but fell short, landing on her chest. She was relieved to feel the heavy pumping of the Asari's heart, resonating even through her armour. _Still alive. Thank the gods, she's still alive._ Shepard became dimly aware of her crew standing around the pair, silent. She looked up at them.

"Get a medical evac, _now dammit_."

* * *

The old, wooden double doors of the hospital room burst open as another gurney barrelled through. Doctor Chakwas was already prepared. The hospital had been filling quickly with the dead and wounded, though thankfully, Chakwas had yet to see someone she personally recognised.

She had decided, should any of the Normandy crew come through the doors, she would give them priority. She chided herself for picking favourites. However unprofessional it was, Chakwas had developed a strong attachment to the Normandy Crew, both past and present. They were like her children and while she could not fight alongside them, she would most certainly be there to pick them up and dust them off when they fell.

Thus, when a call came in heralding the arrival of the Normandy wing of Hammer team, Chakwas immediately commandeered a back room, away from the chaos outside. Her own bubble where she and her small team could protect them.

_Selfish? Perhaps. However_, Chakwas argued with herself, _this band of soldiers had stood firm and held the line when others mocked, belittled and ignored them. The galaxy owed this crew their collective lives, several times over. I'm allowed to be selfish, for them, even if just for today._

Expecting the Commander to be wheeled in, an orange puddle of flesh and bones that could barely pass for human, Chakwas was surprised to see a blur of blue on the gurney as it thundered past her, with Shepard hot on its heels. The Doctor approached her.

"Commander, what's the situation?" Shepard's eyes were fixed on the Asari, dumbstruck. She gave no indication she had heard the Doctor. Chakwas sized up the Commander. She looked ashen, pale and was suffering vast amounts of blood loss. Her eyes were dark, hollow and fatigued. Dirt and blood crusted all over her body, so much so it took Chakwas a moment to fully realise the extent to which the Commander's armour was in disarray.

The gauntlets were absent, giving way to bruised and cut flesh congealed in mud. Her right wrist jutted at an awkward angle and the whole of her left arm hung limp and swollen. Ugly purple and yellow was blotched grotesquely over her body. Moving down her torso, the doctor made note of a gaping hole in the abdomen of her armour, revealing tender pink flesh, with her veins pulsing orange through translucent skin. Chakwas gave a sharp intake of breath. At the frayed edges of armour, the doctor could make out hints of burned tissue from where skin and Kevlar had fused, melting into one another.

The Commander was catatonic, her gaze still fixed on an unconscious Liara. Chakwas would get nothing from her. Instead, she turned to the party that had gathered at the door.

"What happened out there? How is everyone?" Garrus stepped forward.

"We're fine, for the most part, bumps and scrapes, we can wait. Shepard got chewed up and spat out by that beam and Liara got blindsided by a Banshee. Almost finished her off, it's a miracle she's still breathing. Her wounds don't appear too bad but she hasn't woken up since the Banshee dropped. I haven't seen anyone react like that before."

Vega stood next to him, piping up.

"Then again, we haven't seen a Banshee get its head blown off mid-mind fuck. She was shaking constantly Doc, like she was having some kind of fit."

Chakwas nodded grimly, assessing the situation. After a moment she spoke.

"Okay. I'll take care of Liara, try to stabilise her." She raised her voice, addressing her two assistants.

"Bennett, see to the Commander, get that armour off and patch her up." She turned to the last remaining medic in the room.

"Yuri here will treat the rest of you." She patted the young aid on the shoulder before moving over to the gurney. The room operated in hushed whispers as Chakwas attempted to stabilise the Asari.

The Commander's continued silence unnerved the doctor. The usual light and confidence she exuded was nowhere to be found. Instead, she simply stared numbly at Liara's prone body. Chakwas glanced up as she placed the final IV into a thin blue arm. The Commander didn't look just scared. She was _petrified_, as if she would burst into tears at the slightest provocation. Her shoulders were slumped and for once, she looked incredibly small and fragile.

Further frightening the doctor, Chakwas watched as Shepard offered no resistance to treatment. She simply stood, barely flinching as chunks of armour were chipped away, revealing raw, blistered skin. Several minutes passed as Shepard was stripped down and bandaged up.

One by one, the rest of the squad left, either to help search efforts or find a bed. No longer needed, the two medics also departed, leaving the three women alone in a painful silence. Chakwas approached Shepard, gently laying a hand on her bandaged shoulder, speaking softly.

"Commander?" Shepard startled, as if seeing the doctor for the very first time. She said nothing, eyes momentarily flicking back to the Asari on the bed.

"Would you like to sit down? You look tired." The Commander gave a faint nod, moving to sit in the large chair by Liara's bedside. Chakwas wasn't lying when she said Shepard looked tired. The fire that had never wavered in the Commander's eyes had finally extinguished, all fight having left her on the battlefield.

.

Shepard was terrified. More terrified than she could ever remember feeling. For the past several months, Shepard's motives and reasoning for fighting had dwindled drastically. She didn't care for the Council, or the Citadel. As a species, Humans, Turians, Quarians, Krogan, Asari, were all irrelevant to the Commander.

It was only for Liara did she get up in the morning and step into battle. The promise of marriage, old age and a lot of little blue children was the dim light at the end of an incredibly dark tunnel. _They had come so close_.

Now, the possibility that Shepard could survive the war but Liara would not broke the Commander. Her mind shattered as if it was made of crystal. Deep in the pit of her stomach, a raging inferno of hate and destruction threatened to overwhelm her. For now, though, it was quelled by numb fear as Liara's life hung in the balance.

She was vaguely aware of Chakwas placing a blanket around her shoulders and promising to return later. Shepard sat, staring, guarding, praying for Liara. For how long she wasn't sure. In the end it didn't matter. She would never leave her side.

Slowly, it became harder and harder for Shepard to maintain her vigil, as her eyes became heavy and mind screamed for sleep. She clasped Liara's hand, giving a firm but gentle squeeze. The blue slender hand remained limp.

No response. Tears stung at the Commander's eyes as her head drooped and a faint tickling brushed against the back of her mind.


	3. Papa Wolf

**A/N** - Ugh. These next two chapters are/were a pain and a half. Too much exposition. sorry if it's a touch boring, but I need to lay the ground work for the story proper.

Also, I could use a little advice - does my dialogue sound alright to you? See, I've noticed this thing I do, where I imagine the character's voices speaking, but gradually, as I get further into it, everyone starts speaking with southern english accents, like they're all from Oxford. Normally this wouldn't bother me but I don't even have an English accent. I'm the kind of jock who hates Braveheart for not being Scottish enough. So I keep going back and replacing words in case I don't start talking gibberish, and having Shep start addressing haggises and threatening to give Reapers the malky. Bleh.

Also also, I got a B in Higher Biology. Not that you can tell with this chapter, which would make any medical undergrad weep.

Also also also, don't worry to those who asked, This thing is getting finished regardless of DLC, even if it ends up so far left of canon it's somewhere at the bottom of the Atlantic.

Tally ho!

* * *

v.v.v.v.v.v

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Shepard's nose twitched. There was a faint smell of rust. Or blood. Maybe rusty blood. She still hurt but now the pain was distant, a mere itch in the back of her mind. Stirring slightly, she reached out for Liara's hand. It wasn't there.

Shepard's eyes snapped open. No longer was she sitting in the chair by Liara's bedside. She wasn't even in the same room. Instead she was on the floor of a gloomy hallway, back leaning against the cold metal wall. Shepard sprang to her feet and very nearly toppled over again.

_That was strange_. It was as if she weighed nothing. Taking a few cautious steps, Shepard struggled to orient herself. It was an odd experience. Her actions did not properly synchronise with her movements, as if there was a delay or some kind of lag. Furthermore, She felt as if she could flow, like a wave in the ocean. _Curious_.

She still didn't know where she was. Anger welled within her. Whoever had taken her, separated her from Liara was in for a world of hurt. Shepard was ready to kick someone's, _anyone's_ ass. Determination_. Anger and Determination._

_And fear. _

_Wait, what?_ Shepard wasn't scared. She was pissed off and ready to crack some skulls, but certainly not scared. But still, she felt fear. _Am I scared?_ No. On reflection, she had not felt this kind of fear since her youth. _This was a child's fear_. And Shepard could _feel_ it. Not sense, as she could with most people. _Feel, as if it was within her_.

Cautiously, she swept down the hallway, towards a dimly lit doorway. The fear intensified. A knot of apprehension grew within Shepard. She reached out to touch the door handle. As her hand hovered nearer, it flew open.

Startled, Shepard jumped back. A small child ran out the door, into the hallway. _A blue child_. She sensed Shepard and turned to face her. Shepard glared in confusion. The child had a smattering of pink freckles over her cheeks and markings that on a human would register as eye brows, which framed large, sparkling opal eyes.

"_Liara_?" Shepard blurted, more accusatory than she had intended. _What_? _How_? Confusion flooded the human.

* * *

Liara curled up on the floor and sobbed. She was cold and scared. And it wouldn't stop. The ball of light in the corner of the room kept approaching her. Prodding. Demanding attention. It was loud and she was scared.

_I can't help you. __**Leave me alone**_.

The light was persistent. Anger and confusion began to swarm her, slowly creeping its way closer and closer. She was suffocating. Liara panicked and scrambled up, away from the light, the noise and confusion, unable to handle them any longer. She bolted through the door and found herself rooted to the spot in the hallway, feeling the rage and confusion, unbridled by distance, wash over her. She turned around.

_Goddess_.

Towering over her was what looked like a shaved monkey. Bloodied bandages covered paper white skin. A network of veins pulsed a sickening orange over sharply defined, wiry muscles. Looking up she saw its face, blotched yellow and purple along with the occasional deep gash, framed with fiery red fur, and its eyes.

_Goddess, its eyes. _They fixed the young Asari with a furious, predatory glare. _It's going to kill me._

"_**Liara**__?" _

_It knows my name._

Overwhelmed by the flurry of emotions and confusion, Liara fled down the corridor, away from the terrifying monkey monster. She squealed as heavy thumps chased after. _Have to get away. Monster will catch me. Kill me. Eat me. _Tears streamed down her face.

_Goddess! A door._

Liara flew through the exit, slamming the metal door with a clang behind her and lost herself amongst the stars.

* * *

.

The child began to run. _No_. "Wait!" Shepard shouted, chasing after her. Her head was overloading with emotion, Shepard found it difficult to properly concentrate. She saw a door in front of her slam shut. She swore.

Shepard was about to throw her fist through the door, confront the child, force her to talk, before her eyes caught her own reflection. She gawked in horror. _She was a mess_. Shepard recalled the child's face.

_She was afraid of me. Terrified_.

Shepard's shoulders drooped as she stared at the door, dumb struck. The child's thoughts flooded her.

_She thought I was a monkey, an animal, a beast._ She lowered her fist.

_That child - __**Liara**__ - looked at you as if you were a __**monster**__. _Bile rose in Shepard's throat, bewildered, agitated and disgusted with herself.

.

Fear and confusion returned. Again it did not belong to Shepard. Instead, these were odd emotions, muddled, without context. She drifted down the corridor, following the feelings back to their source, once again feeling them grow in strength as she approached. Shepard arrived back at the room she had first seen Liara.

Peering in, her brow knit in confusion. The emotions were definitely flooding from this room, but it was empty. She had to do a double take before spotting the light in the corner before she felt the fear increase tenfold, buffeting Shepard like a gust of wind and staggering her slightly. She approached cautiously, not wanting to repeat the performance she had with Liara. She reached out her hand gingerly. A tendril of light replied likewise, wrapping around her wrist.

The surge of fresh emotion and information startled Shepard. There was the curiosity, innocence and beautiful good nature that Shepard recalled as she first fell in love with Liara, but it was edged with a hard stubbornness, unwavering resolve that was distinctly Shepard. She stared down at the light, eyes wide, stunned.

_This was her daughter. _

A surge of fresh emotions crashed against the pair, this time most certainly originating from within Shepard. _She was going to a moth- No, father._ She guffawed. _That'll take some getting used to._ An endless stream of images flashed through her mind.

_In bed, lying next to Liara, holding the baby in her arms. Picking the toddler up when she falls and scrapes her knee, kissing it better. Sending her off to school with a comically oversized backpack and packed lunch. Tearing up as she leaves for coll-_

The light, overwhelmed by the bout of new emotions, began to retract. Shepard was immediately snapped out of her reverie. _No, it's okay._ She reached out again; more confident and collected the ball of light in her arms, cradling it.

It was a strange sensation. Beyond the light was an indistinguishable bundle, a solid _something_. It felt fuzzy, blurry as if lacking definition. But it was warm, curious and bled innocence. She clenched it tightly to her chest.

Shepard immediately flared with a fierce determination and protectiveness over the bundle_._ The light sensed her open and welcoming embrace, the safety that radiated from her father. It pushed further into the human.

Shepard felt her mind being probed and allowed the child entrance. She gave it free reign, letting her explore and experience her father, while gently guiding her away from the darker memories and toward safer, happier ones, involving Liara. The child basked in the warmth and love, finally content, having found the acceptance she had been so desperate for.

The Commander gave a slight shiver as the child nuzzled itself within her mind. She became aware of the light's tiredness and found it reciprocated inside herself. Scooting into the corner of the room, Shepard curled up, light clutched firmly to her chest. She waited until the child's movements in her mind slowed and became soft and rhythmic before allowing herself to drift off.

It had been a long day. Tomorrow she would figure out what was wrong with Liara and she would damn well find a way to fix it. For now though, she contented herself with the calming embrace of her soon to be child.

* * *

.

Shepard gradually came to, mind slowly booting back into conscious. Her body ached, but inside she was calm, happy_. Haven't been this comfortable since, what? Ilos, Hagalaz, Cronos?_ A soft smirk spread across her face. She registered the warmth of Liara in her left hand and squeezed. She frowned slightly.

Her neck was stiff from sleeping on the chair but she distinctly remembered falling asleep on the floor, against a wall. She shifted her right arm, expecting some form of weight or resistance, but instead her hand clapped lamely against her chest. She sighed. _Getting a little tired of this_.

She jolted at the creak of the ward door. Chakwas sidled in, dark circles under her eyes. Her face lit up upon seeing Shepard awake. The two women regarded one another silently as Chakwas approached the bed, beaming down at the Commander, who gave a weak smile in return.

"Congratulations, God bless, well done, bravo and thank you, in that order, I believe, Commander."

Shepard merely looked puzzled. Chakwas furrowed her brow.

"The Reapers, Commander? Now that they're gone, every sentient species and their dog are lining up to say they supported you from the very beginning." She scoffed.

"The names I've heard them call you during the past twelve hours; Siha, warrior angel extraordinaire, Abrogaton; terminator of the Old Machines, a daughter of Kalros, Athame and the Spirits incarnate. And that's not even beginning to take into account the Human responses, although I think the news outlets have, slightly less imaginatively, took to simply calling you 'The Shepard'. You don't even need a name any more, just a great big 'The' "

She paused, eyes focussing on the Commander, "You're a messiah, now."

Shepard gave a derisive snort.

"I suppose I am kinda Space Jesus. Faced constant opposition on all sides. Died. Came back. Had my own doubting Thomas. Hell, I even rolled with a twelve man squad at one point. Don't know about turning water into wine though. I can magic Credits into Ryncol; that's practically the same thing, right?"

"Good to see you've not let your ego outgrow you, Commander." Chakwas replied dryly as she moved to study the various machine read outs linked to Liara. Shepard watched, her voice turning quiet and sombre.

"Is she going to be alright?"

Chakwas attempted a reassuring smile, but her knit brows caused apprehension to bubble in the pit of Shepard's stomach.

"Physically? Yes. Her wounds are minor, nothing that should take longer than a month to become a mere memory. _Mentally_, however?" She gave an apologetic shrug.

"I don't know. Her response to stimuli suggests a coma, but neuro-imaging suggests her brain is fully active, as if she were awake. It's the same with her eye movement. In fact, it's not dissimilar to your encounter with those Prothean beacons all those years ago, except that, by now, you had transitioned into a regular sleep state, something which Liara here shows no signs of doing." She fixed Shepard with a remorse laden gaze.

"I'm a trauma doctor, Commander. My experience in treating mental maladies is minimal at best. Add on top of that we're dealing with a species that I'm not technically qualified to treat," she sighed, shaking her head. "You need an expert. And unfortunately, that is not me."

Shepard nodded glumly, her attention returning to the unconscious Asari, hands still intertwined. The doctor stood in silence, watching the commanding officer she had grown inordinately fond of, desperate to offer some form of solace or reassurance. Her eyes flickered down to her medical notes.

"There was another, more pleasant anomaly, Commander."

Shepard's brow furrowed, thinking, before meeting the doctor's gaze with a contented smirk.

"The baby?" Her eyes returned to Liara, the smirk broadening into a full blown grin. Chakwas' eyes widened, slightly taken aback.

"You knew?"

"Yeah. Well, kind of. It was all a bit strange. I'll tell you about it later." Her mind raced with memories of the night before. It would take time to properly digest everything that was swimming around her head at the moment. She had a family now and they needed her. In her current state, however, she could help no one. She needed to form a plan of action. _One thing at a time, find your footing._

Shepard's face hardened slightly as she slipped back into Commander Mode, a cool nonchalance ingrained in her voice

"So what about me, Doc? How am I shaping up? Hope I'm not preggo, too. _That'd_ be awkward to try and explain."

Chakwas gave a small chuckle.

"No such luck there, Commander. You seem to be in top condition. Or at least, you will be with sufficient R&R. Your synthetics appear to be learning. All injuries have been healed in record time, save the bruising. A very literal case of 'what doesn't kill you...' I suppose. Out of curiosity I ran some tests. It appears your upgrades have taken it upon themselves to keep you operating at peak efficiency, going as far to correct Mother Nature herself."

Shepard stared up at her wide eyed as confusion and curiosity played across her face in equal measure. Chakwas set down Liara's data pad and instead picked up Shepard's.

"One of the... _flaws_, if you will, of the human condition, is our tendency to decay at an alarming rate once we have outlived our biological usefulness. Mutations in DNA occur, health issues arise and as they rack up, our all round functionality steadily decreases. This is arguably most visible through our production of the protein elastin."

"Elastin is what keeps the soft parts of our body in shape and gives us our youth. Over time, our ability to produce this protein diminishes, which causes the appearance of wrinkles and certain parts to droop and sag. This is by no means the only cause of aging but the process is mimicked by thousands of other proteins and functions throughout the body."

"You, Commander, however, or rather, your cybernetics are compensating for this drop in production, fixing these small mutations as they happen and halting the atrophy. I compared your most recent results with past check-ups from your medical files. In the year or so since your resurrection, your levels of elastin production, among other things, have remained fairly constant, only really taking dips around your assault on the Collector base and leading up to your final confrontation with the Reapers."

"Of course, that isn't to say you'll be eternally young. The levels are still diminishing, however slowly, as the tiniest of mutations still manage to slip past your synthetics, insignificant enough to remain undetected. Not enough time has elapsed to put a firm figure on it, but from the data I'd make a safe estimate that your body is aging at a tenth of the rate of us mere mortals." She offered a gentle smile.

Shepard stared into middle distance, trying to process the information. Eventually, she turned back to the doctor, a hopeful whimsy in her voice.

"So that means-"

"- That barring accidents, undue stress and maintenance of your various implants, you could live for a millennia." Chakwas finished. Shepard sat stunned for a moment.

_A millennia. A thousand years. Talk about earning your happy endings. I've been given a lifetime or ten. Now I just need my Asari to live them with. _Chakwas brought her out of her thoughts and back to the present.

"Therefore, Commander, I prescribe a healthy diet, plenty of sleep and prolonged relaxation. So I'd lay off saving the galaxy from imminent destruction, you know, for a while at least. Which sort of brings me onto my next topic,"

Chakwas set down the second data pad and perched herself at the foot of Liara's bed, fixing Shepard with one of her patented no nonsense stares.

"While you appear to be in top condition, both in body and mind, I am deeply uncomfortable just unleashing you back into active service. As such, I have declared you unfit for duty and I shall personally be on you like a shadow until further notice,"

Shepard nodded in agreement. She couldn't argue_. It would be nice just to sit for a while. _Plus, the thought of a lengthy absence while her Bondmate was in her current condition was simply out of the question. At least with Chakwas she was in safe hands.

"However," the Doctor continued, "with recent events being as they are, you are a highly sought after individual, Commander. While I can keep the press and most staff at bay, I am still at the mercy of the higher ups in the Alliance and it's only a matter of time before the politicos and various powers that be manage to wrangle an audience with you." She sighed, giving a faint smile.

"You should have heard the arguments I've had with Admiral Hackett over admitting him to see you. I eventually managed to haggle him down to notifying him as soon as you wake."

Shepard frowned, shaking her head. _Nothing's ever easy, is it?_ _There was a time when things were simple, once. It was nice. God I miss those days. _She huffed.

"Fine, but he's coming down here."

"Of course, Commander. Might I suggest staying in your bandages until after your meeting. Play the sympathy card. I'll get you some crutches. No point putting on half a show." She smirked, moving to her terminal to message the Admiral.

"Lying to the Top Brass, disobeying direct orders? You're sneaky Doc. _I love it_."

"What can I say Commander? You're a terrible influence."

Shepard laughed and adjusted herself in the seat before she began practicing her best pained expression. She glanced at the blue figure in the bed. _Everything's going to be okay_. _You're going to be fine. Both of you. I promise. _She gave the hand a final squeeze.

* * *

It was only a matter of minutes before Hackett and a small entourage of soldiers came striding through the doors. Shepard tried her hardest to struggle to her feet, giving an exaggerated wince.

"Sir." She saluted, leaning heavily on her crutch. He nodded and turned to dismiss his personnel. He waited expectantly for Chakwas to follow them. Instead she looked to the Commander who shrugged and nodded. _Don't worry, I can handle him. _

Once alone, Hackett rolled the chair over from the desk, and sat, motioning for Shepard to do likewise. He fixed her with a steely, though not unkind gaze and sighed.

"So, Commander. How about we start with you running toward the beam?"

Shepard spent the next hour recounting the previous day's events. _The Beam. Anderson. The Illusive Man. That Bastard God Child. _Hackett sat patiently, mutely nodding and every so often stroking his chin in contemplation.

"... And then I got blasted back into the beam, next thing I know, I'm lying crippled in a pile of rubble. Everything goes red and then... silence." She finished, looking at him expectantly.

"It's all a little farfetched Shepard. I won't lie in saying that if this came from anyone else, I'd have them sectioned and screened for indoctrination faster than a Turian on Shanxi." He sighed.

"However, if I've learned anything in the past three years, it's that people who doubt you tend to find themselves up a certain creek sans paddle. You're sure there gone? For good?"

"I'd bet my life on it sir."

Hackett nodded, barely managing to reign in the excitement on his face.

"I'll take your word for it."

They sat in silence for a moment. _You've been thinking about this for a while. You'll never get a better chance than now. You fought tooth and claw for this new beginning. Just sack up and say it. _Shepard inhaled deeply before talking in a steady, well rehearsed pace.

"Sir, I'd like to take this opportunity to tender my resignation from the Alliance Navy. I am grateful for the opportunities that serving alongside my fellow marines has given me-"

"Why?" Hackett blurted, taken aback. Shepard noticed a slight slump in his posture. He looked momentarily dejected before training and professionalism regained control of his features.

"I- Just- I thought you were a career soldier, Shepard. You told me as much when you graduated from ICT. Wouldn't you want to oversee rebuilding of the universe you just saved?"

"I was and I'd like to, but things change, Sir." Sighing, she leaned forward on her elbows, hands at her mouth as eyes flicked momentarily to her left. Looking up at Hackett what was left of her stoic mask shattered.

"_I-I can't do it anymore._ Elysium and Akuze, I could just about handle. Torfan was brutal but necessary; I did what I had to do and paid the price for it. _But this_? I've lost far too many friends since Saren and Sovereign. There's too much blood on my hands. I missed out on two years of my life and I saw what that did to the people I care about. I can't put them through that again. _I can't put myself through that. _I'm not strong enough, Sir, I- I don't have it in me. I'm _done_."

She let out a shuddered breath, her face collapsing in her hands. While it was painful to admit, Shepard couldn't help but feel lighter than she had in a long time. Silence fell once more. After some deliberation, Hackett chose his words carefully.

"Commander, you're the best soldier I've ever had the honour of working alongside. You're a credit to the Alliance and to humanity. Never before have I seen a person with better skills, instinct and intuition. You possess charisma and leadership qualities that I doubt will be surpassed soon, if 've got a gift, Shepard, the ability to know how and when to act and react, to instil pride and faith and courage in everyone you touch."

"Therefore I trust you can see why I can't accept your resignation yet."

The Commander opened her mouth to protest, only to have Hackett cut her off.

"No, Commander, hear me out. We may have won the war but this fight is far from over. Right now, the Galaxy is in a precarious state. You're more than just a soldier or a Spectre now, Shepard. You are hope and strength personified, victory and loss but never defeat."

"You and your crew are the symbol for what we can achieve when we put prejudice and difference aside and come together, working as one as a conducive force in the face of adversity. I don't need to explain what would happen to galactic morale if our one beacon of hope were to suddenly disappear from the centre stage."

"However, I understand that at the end of the day you're just as human, as the rest of us." He glanced at the Asari lying next to them and gave a faint smile.

"Or not, as it were. Regardless, there will be ceremonies and parades in your honour, whether you like it or not and it would be best for everyone if you at least made an appearance." He stood up, moving to idly examine various medical tools.

"Now as an Alliance soldier, I can regulate your activities and keep proceedings to a minimum. However, if you were to leave us, you would still be a Spectre and therefore at the mercy of the Council, or what's left of it, and I can't guarantee you anything under them."

As much as she loathed to concede it, Hackett was right. The Galaxy wasn't quite finished with her yet. At any rate, Shepard would prefer to remain under the Alliance's thumb than the Council's. At least here she knew she had friends who wouldn't sell her to the highest bidder.

"So what would you have me do, Sir?"

"The minimum, Commander. If you wish, consider your days of front line active duty over. Right now, we need hearts and minds. So you'll be going on tour, with the Normandy and any crew who wish to remain on board. Nothing strenuous, maybe a little paper work but all in all, think of it as a vacation, sightseeing. There are a lot of places on Earth the Reapers failed to touch, as if nothing ever happened. I want what's best for you Shepard. We owe you that much."

Shepard sat, mulling over the Admiral's offer. _It was better than a kick in teeth at any rate. And I'd get the Normandy, keep Liara safe there. Plus, it'd give me time to think in peace and quiet. Make plans. _Eventually, she stood and gave a firm salute.

"Thank you, Sir. Give us a few days and we should be ready."

"Of course, Commander. You'll have further orders on boarding the Normandy." He grasped her hand, shaking it. "On behalf of the Systems Alliance, Humanity and the Galactic Community, thank you, Commander Shepard, for everything. If I can in any way be of service, you need just ask." With a nod he proceeded to leave the room. He had his hand on the door when Shepard called out.

"Actually, Sir, could you contact the Destiny Ascension? I need some advice on Asari, preferably from a medic."

"I'll see right to it, Commander." With that, he departed, leaving Shepard and Liara alone once more. Approaching the bed, Shepard leaned over and placed a gentle kiss on Liara's forehead. She gave a lopsided smile as she addressed the unconscious Asari, giving her hand another gentle squeeze.

"You know, Blue, nothing in this world worth fighting for comes easy. Lucky for your two stubborn asses, _I've_ got enough fire left for all three of us."

Silence.

She sighed.

_You would have laughed at that._


	4. Panic Room

**A/N** - once again, sorry if this is a bit expositiony, just trying to lay the ground rules for what I'm trying to do.

.

* * *

.

As the day wound on, Shepard was overjoyed to see her crew, covered in bumps and scrapes, but otherwise all present and correct. Grunt's exuberance was particularly infectious as he paraded his shiny new scars in front of his beaming Battle Master. He regaled her with highly detailed recollections that made Shepard wary of her lunch-time beef substitute and seriously contemplate never eating again. _Thank God Liara was on saline. And unconscious. _Even then Shepard could have swore she saw the Asari give a faint shudder as Grunt gave a particularly animated re-enactment of his run in with three unlucky Ravagers. Shepard almost felt sorry for them. Almost.

While it had been oddly liberating lounging in nought but a few conveniently positioned bandages, Shepard was eventually talked into changing back into something a little more formal. Stripping off, she regarded her naked form in the mirror. No longer was she the thing of nightmares as she had been the night before as the bruising had mostly transitioned to a sickly she looked remarkably pale.

The scar that ran the length of her face was ever present, a faint orange line tracing through its middle. It had never left, even after being rebuilt by Cerberus. _Liara said it was distinguished and ingrained on her very soul_. She smiled at the memory. _Liara liked her scar_. That made Shepard inordinately happy.

As her eyes journeyed south, she prodded the large welt on her abdomen. It felt spongy, taut and the skin was nearly transparent, showcasing the network of veins underneath. Shepard wrinkled her nose. It would take a while to return to normal. The door creaked open_. It'll be_ _Chakwas. _The Doctor knew more about the Commander's body than she herself ever would, so Shepard saw no reason to rush and cover herself in her presence. She turned around, seeking advice.

"Hey, Doc, do you thi-"

_That's not Chakwas. _Unless Chakwas was secretly a six foot, deep cobalt Asari. Shepard's eyes watered, the ability to blink vanishing, forcing her to keep increasingly painful eye contact with the bemused figure in front of her. Slowly she shifted her hands to cover her delicates, as if sudden movement would somehow startle the Asari.

"Humans," she muttered. "Prudes." She stepped forward.

"Matriarch Eileithyia, Chief Obstetrician of the Destiny Ascension."

Shepard shuffled forward and paused, debating which hand to offer her to shake. She settled on a slight bow.

"Why would a ship have an OBG?"

"A starship with a population of 10,000 possible child bearing staff? I'd be surprised if there _weren't_ any expectant mothers."

Shepard gave a sheepish nod. _Touché_.

"Thanks for coming when I asked. I'm Commander Shepard-"

"_I know who you are, Bubbles_. And I'm not here for you. Primarily, anyway." She shook her head, motioning towards Liara. "I'm here for her. When I heard _Athame _herselfwanted counsel, I knew Dr. T'Soni here wouldn't be far behind." She looked at the unconscious Asari affectionately. "I was good friends with Benezia and Aethyta back when we still used surnames. I delivered their Little Wing into the Galaxy." With a slight shake of her head and clearing of her throat, the Matriarch banished all sentimentality from her voice.

"Nezzie was a powerful woman. A powerful woman that I owed a favour to, even in death. I wouldn't put it past the old hag to haunt my ass if I didn't square myself with her. Plus, Old 'Thee's got one hell of a temper. I'd prefer not to have her go all blood rage on me."

"Anyway, when I heard you wanted an _Asari, _I put two and two together and figured it was something to do with your girlfriend here and I jumped on the first shuttle earth bound."

Shepard bristled slightly at the Matriarch's words.

"She's my _Bond Mate_."

Eileithyia perked at Shepard's indignation, lowering her flippant tone slightly.

"That serious, huh? Well then, I trust this isn't just a social call. Why am I here Commander?"

Shepard proceeded to detail the post Reaper events; The Banshee, Liara and the Dreamas she dressed, before moving back to Liara's bed side, taking her hand once more.

"I looked in the room and there was a... _light. _A ball of _feelings_. It was scared. So scared. So I comforted it. I reached out and touched it. It- It was my daughter." She felt winded as the words escaped her lips, finally admitting she was having - _already had_ - a daughter. _A living thing. Her and Liara's little bundle of brilliance_. She sniffed back the sudden sting in her eyes and smiled slightly.

"And then we fell asleep. When I woke up, I was back here."

The Matriarch stared at her, brow knit. Her eyes shifted to Liara.

"Tell me Commander, how much do you know about Asari reproduction, really? And I don't mean just the Eternity Embracing and DNA mapping."

Shepard shrugged, almost embarrassed, like a child caught out at school. Eileithyia sighed. _Try and keep it simple, relate it to what she would know._

"Well, Asari and Human gestation are far more similar than any of the other species in the galaxy. However, the big difference occurs in mental development. Asari require regular stimulation to develop safely. It's thought to be a carryover from more primitive times. Asari don't procreate by accident. It's conscious decision and requires full consent from both parties to proceed. Therefore when a child is made, she takes sentience immediately, unwilling to unnecessarily waste any time in development. It's a more reliable system than humanity's reliance on chance and luck. You can't make Asari by mistake." She began pacing softly at the foot of the bed.

"Throughout the gestation period, the child seeks comfort in her mother's embrace and learns from her experiences. Much like a meld between Bondmates, the child can sift through memories, usually those pertaining to her Sire or extended family so that she can familiarise herself with the world around her."

"Like how humans talk to babies when they're still in the womb?" Shepard offered.

"Yeah." _Not at all_. The Asari experience was far more spiritual and personal, _something a human would never understand_. But if it helped the Commander picture it in her head, Eileithyia would allow it.

The Matriarch let out another heavy sigh as she placed one hand on her hip and waved the other in Liara's direction.

"I've never seen this before. Goddess, Banshees didn't even exist until a few months ago. Normally, what causes death in the victim of an Ardat-Yakshi is that the mind is torn open and its contents devoured. From what you've told me, with her eyes and everything, it sounds as if Liara here had her mind torn but was saved from destruction."

"Commander, have you ever had someone force them self upon you, thrusting their way into your mind?"

Shepard shook her head. She hadn't. However, she was aware of the implications and the disgust many Asari felt about it. Humanity had its own analogies. Growing up in unforgiving slums, Shepard had come perilously close to such situations a number of times and only through luck had she avoided the misfortune of experiencing it firsthand. The Matriarch shuddered.

"It's... _unpleasant_. It can be enough to break even the strongest of resolves, Commander. I've seen some never truly recover from the ordeal. I've personally seen a few cases, nowhere near as extreme as this, but it's not uncommon for one to shut down mentally as a coping mechanism."

Eileithyia stood silent for a minute, deep in thought. The inferno of hate and anger bubbled quietly in Shepard's stomach, enraged at something having the gall to even attempt to do this to Liara. She forced the bubbling to subside; anger would help no one at this time. The Matriarch spoke.

"It would be imprudent of me to guess further on her condition without examining it personally. I'm going to need your help, Commander. Take my hand. Prepare to meld into Liara."

Shepard immediately withdrew her hand form the Asari.

"Whoa, no- I'm not going to cause further damage. Melding without permission is... _inexcusable_."

Eileithyia regarded Shepard, a soft look in her eyes.

"It's not that kind of meld, Commander. It's the difference between me stabbing you and performing surgery to remove a bullet from a wound. I'm still cutting you up, but the context is different. Plus this is merely exploratory; we won't be delving deep until we figure out what's gone wrong. You know her mind better than anyone else; your presence will be comforting."

Shepard remained uncertain, eyes flicking between the Matriarch and Liara.

"Commander, we have to do this. _Your family need you_."

That did it. As if a switch was flicked in Shepard's head, doubtful hesitance was replaced by steely determination. Eileithyia watched the emotions play out on the Commander's face. _Young love. _She gave an inward sigh. _To be a maiden again. _Shepard fixed her with a piercing gaze, giving a firm nod and taking her hand.

"Do it."

"Very well. Commander, find your place in the universe, everything that is, was and forever shall be. Find Liara, find peace. Embrace eternity."

.

* * *

.

Shepard closed her eyes and drew a large breath in the hospital room. She opened them and exhaled, finding herself standing in a familiar corridor. Beside her, she felt Eileithyia, calm and relaxed, but with a slight air of curiosity.

_And loneliness._

Once again, the feelings were not Shepard's. But this time, she knew what to do. On instinct, she glided to the small room where she had first run into Liara. Locating the light, the Commander felt a strong wave of excitement and eagerness. Quickly moving to pick it up, Shepard flooded the light with love and affection. _It's okay. Daddy's here now._ She let out a soft snort. _That's still weird. _She opened her mind to it, letting the light find peace within her.

Eileithyia watched the embrace, warmed by the striking bond between the two. It was beautiful. _Maybe this Human would understand. _She stood, enraptured by the sight, so much so that she failed to notice the Commander looking at her expectantly.

"So what is this place? How'd we get here?"

"It's your Bondmate's mind. We arrived by melding with her. I formed a connection, a bridge, if you will and pulled you in. I'd guess the same thing happened last night, but with the child. Unable to bond with her mother, she reached out for the only other being she knew; _you_. This is all new to me, but from what I gather, you've handled the situation rather well and formed a safe bond of your own. Also, if I may be so bold and say so, you appear to have taken this all in your stride. You must be remarkably strong willed Commander."

The light bristled excitedly at the familiar words and Shepard couldn't help but feel a slight smug pride as she sent waves of reassurance to the bundle in her arms. _Damn straight, I am. We are. _The light emanated amusement at her father's posturing and tried to copy the emotions herself.

Shepard peered around the room, dark and dank, with the ever present tang of rusty blood. She frowned.

"So this is Liara's mind? It never looked like this before when we bonded."

"No?" Eileithyia moved to a nearby wall, placing her hand on the surface. It was firm but applying adequate pressure produced a soft indent. After a moment's thought, Eileithyia blinked, turning her eyes dark obsidian. Soft blue energy crackled around her hand as she placed it on the wall once more.

Cold shot through her arm and down her spine, as if ice was flowing through her veins, causing the Matriarch to shudder violently. She was bombarded with a flurry of defiance and anger, warning her not to venture further. She jumped back as if scolded and massaged heat back into her hand.

"What was that?" Shepard asked apprehensively, coming to join her, the light still nestled in her arms. She reached out a hand of her own and was met with hard, impassive metal. Shepard rapped her knuckles against it and was rewarded with a slight knocking. _Nothing_.

"It's a wall. In more ways than one. Imagine a barrier, blocking this small corner from the rest of her mind. It wouldn't surprise me if Liara had constructed this as some sort of shelter from the Banshee, locking herself and the child away from the brunt of the damage." She drifted slightly, talking to herself as much as Shepard.

"These walls are extraordinarily strong, more so than some Matriarchs' I've seen and even then, only in the most powerful. Why would a Maiden possess such power, what has she got to hide?"

"I'm sure she has her reasons. I trust her implicitly." Shepard responded, more curtly than she had intended. Regardless, she wasn't going to betray Liara, or offer the opportunity to let slip knowledge of her Shadow Broking, especially during a meld when it was difficult to properly mask her thoughts.

The light, which had been observing the situation but paid little attention to the snapping adults, found its curiosity piqued. It reached out a tendril to touch the wall, as the Matriarch and Father had done but whipped it back with ferocious speed at the barrage of negativity and attempted to claw her way deep into her father. Shepard, sensing her terror, enveloped the child immediately, jostling it in her arms and making soft hushing sounds.

Eileithyia stared at the wall, stunned. The child had barely brushed against it yet had managed to leave a sizeable crater, making the Matriarch's attempts look pitiful in comparison. She looked at the light. _Genetic similarity, knowledge of the barriers? Maybe some kind of mental familiarity?_

"Do it again."

"What? _No_." Shepard glared at the Matriarch reproachfully, shielding the light from her. "She's scared. I'm not putting her through that again."

"Commander, it's either this or we let Liara stew and wish _super_ hard for her to get better."

Shepard frowned. She looked down at the light. Even though it didn't quite understand what was being discussed, she picked up from Father's emotions that Mother was in trouble. She wanted to help. She radiated an aura of fierce determination. Shepard quirked a brow._ Are you always going to be this stubborn? _She gave a huff_. Of all the traits to map, Liara had to choose pig headedness_.

"Fine." Shepard folded, watching as the Matriarch promptly made her way to the door, turning around to see an immobile and highly confused Commander.

"Well come on, then." She vanished through the door. Shepard grunted and hurried to catch her.

"What about the wall?" she panted, trying to match the Matriarch's long strides.

"What about it?" Eileithyia asked, glancing at Shepard's blank expression. She sighed. _Do I have to spell everything out?_

"You mentioned Liara running through a door. We're going to follow her. _We could _blast our way through the walls like you usually do, _or_ we can take the safer option and use doorways and not have your Bondmate's psyche collapse around us."

Shepard grunted in affirmation, conceding that the Matriarch was probably right. They arrived at the large metal door. The apprehension that emanated from the light was palpable. Shepard sympathised.

"She's scared. She doesn't want to do it, Matriarch."

Eileithyia looked unimpressed, fixing Shepard with a stern glaze.

"_Really_? Am I talking to the same Commander Shepard that had the quads to 'jack a ship from under the Council's nose to stop an imminent galactic invasion? Who came back from the dead and pulled off a guaranteed suicide mission with zero casualties? Who gave Krogan back their children, Quarians back their planet _and_ made them best friends forever with the Geth? Who managed to do what thousands of cycles over millions of years could only have dreamt of and kicked royal Reaper ass once and for all?" The same Commander Shepard who is standing in front of me now and telling me she can't motivate something that's barely even a baby?" She tutted derisively.

Folding her arms, Eileithyia's eyes bore into the Commander. Shepard glowered like a child that had just been scolded, petulant but unwilling to meet the Matriarch's gaze. The light, as if on cue, gingerly extended a tendril, once again barely brushing the door before recoiling. Shepard mentally addressed the bundle.

_It's okay, you can do this. I'm here, so nothing bad's gonna happen, alright? I believe in you. _Seemingly encouraged by her father's thoughts, she reached out once more, this time with confidence. She connected with the door. Again she was buffeted by negativity and nearly pulled back. Before she had time to do so, the negativity was drowned by a flood of confidence and reassurance from her father. _They could do this._

The tendril surged forward and the door disintegrated in front of them, revealing a calm star filled field beyond.

The light gave a puff of pride, which Shepard found echoed in her chest. With renewed confidence, the light sprang from her father's arms and floated through the door. Eileithyia and the Commander moved to follow but instead were greeted by an invisible resistance in the doorway. The Matriarch sighed as Shepard looked at her, confused. Uncertainty seeped from the light.

"I was hoping this wouldn't happen, at least, not so fast, anyway." She saw the concern etched over the Commander's face and hastily continued.

"Don't worry, it's nothing bad. It's just tiring, sustaining the meld, especially with an unconscious, unfamiliar recipient and an extra mind to maintain within. I'm not going to be able to hold out much longer and Baby Blue there just broke down some mean mental barriers. So we're gonna have to rest and regroup. You want to say goodbye?"

Shepard nodded and tried to hide her disappointment. She beckoned to the light and held it in her hands as she addressed it. _I gotta go. But I'll be back, okay? I promise. _She sent out a wave of encouragement_. I need you do something for me, alright? I need you to try and find your mother and keep her company. She's just as scared you were right now. You have to be brave for her, for me. Can you do that?_

She was met with a cocky, pompous confidence. Clearly the child felt she could rise to this pitiful excuse for a challenge. Shepard smirked. _That's my girl. _She clutched the light to her chest, taking one final chance to revel in its embrace. _I'll find a way back. If you need me, you just need to reach out. I promise, I'm always here, always watching._ Lowering her arms, Shepard allowed the light to flutter away. Shepard watched as it became a pinprick amongst the stars. The hospital room slowly began melting back into view.

.

* * *

.

Eileithyia sat down to regain her composure. Shepard remained standing, hands on hips as she stared intently at the prone body on the bed, trying to fully process the events she had just witnessed. Melds always scrambled the Commander's brain. Since Ilos, melding had always seemed natural to her and Shepard struggled to imagine her life, sex or otherwise, without it. The experience would always be alien to her, however, the Commander felt that a little disorientation was more than worth the connection it gave her with Liara. As the dizziness subsided, Shepard turned to face the Matriarch.

"So where was Liara, then? How can I find her?" _Help her_.

Eileithyia rubbed her eyes and met the Commander's gaze.

"Most likely in her memories. Again with Ardat-Yakshi, it's a two step process. A person's mind is destroyed before it's devoured; however your intervention prevented that _thing_ from getting to step two and finishing the job."

"Right now everything that makes Liara '_Liara' _is nothing but a mess of memory and emotion. She's going to have to rebuild herself, relive her life before she can safely wake again."

_Relive her life? She's 109 years old. _Shepard banished the dismay growing in the pit of her stomach.

"How long's that going to take?"

"Not too long, hopefully. I've seen less severe cases with Commandos and Huntresses who buckle under pressure and fall foul to post traumatic stress. It mainly involves reliving key moments that define a person. It can take anything from one month to ten years." Shepard's eyes widened in horror. _Like hell it will. _The Matriarch continued quickly, trying to calm the Commander.

"However, with you and the child, as well her youth, Liara's recovery should be shorter than most."

Shepard relaxed slightly, but still regarded Eileithyia hesitantly.

"You see, Commander, when an Asari melds with her partner, more occurs than mere biology. Two souls intertwine, become one. When that first meld finishes, a small part of one's soul is left with the other, so that while you lose a part of yourself, you gain a piece of your partner; an eternal binding that cannot be broken."

"Hopefully, if the child manages to draw you into their minds again, Liara will recognise herself within the pair of you. Unconsciously, she can use those pieces as a template and speed up the process."

"Time scale?"

"_For Liara to improve_? I don't know, only that it will be quicker than if you two weren't here. _For us to try and fix her_? Earth time's roughly the same as Thessia, right? Then twenty months. As soon as she spits that kid out, that bridge is broken and it's all up to her."

_Twenty months? _Even that felt like an age. Shepard sighed, nodding her head, resigned.

"Okay. Thank you, for everything, you've been invaluable. If you need anything, please, let me know. You might have repaid Benezia and Aethyta but _I_ owe you more than you'll ever realise. I am indebted to you, Matriarch Eileithyia."

"Please, just Eilidh. And there is something you could do for me, Commander. From what I hear, you're going on tour with that ship of yours. I've always wanted to see Earth and you're going to be needing – _what's the human term_? A midwife?" She stood in front of the Commander. "Room for one more?"

The human gave a broad grin as she extended her hand.

"Just _Shepard_, and I'd be honoured to show you around my home world. We should be ready to set off soon, so grab your stuff and I'll meet you there. Welcome aboard the Normandy, Eilidh."


	5. Three in the Park

**A/N - **Right. It's decided. This is totally a fic using Red/Blue, Alex/Liara from my other story 'From Little Acorns', so if you haven't read it, I'd suggest you go do that, like, now. I refer to OC's from it in this chapter, and probably will do more later on.

Don't worry. I can wait.

.

Done? Awesome!

Onward!

* * *

.

Standing in the Captain's cabin of the SSV Normandy, Matriarch Eileithyia let out a low whistle as she absorbed her surroundings.

"Nice digs. I could get used to this. Any chance I can get in on this galactic saviour business full time?"

Shepard gave an amused snort as she moved to down into the pit of the room, searching for a fresh pair of fatigues.

"Please, make yourself at home; mi casa es su casa and all that jazz. This'll be your cabin. I'll clear the drawers for you, so you can empty your stuff. I won't be up here much, just for the odd data pad or something I've forgotten. Oh and remember to feed fish. _Every day_. I learned that the hard way."

"What about you, Shepard? Where are you going to sleep and work if I'm taking over your space?"

"Oh, I'll use the old XO office down on the third deck. There's a terminal or two in there I can use if I have to."

Eilidh's brow furrowed as the Commander turned to get dressed. The Executive Officer's quarters were the only room on the ship that the Matriarch wasn't given a tour of. When asked, the Specialist woman merely shrugged and said that was Liara's old office, glibly noting how little use Liara made of the furnishings, preferring to spend the time she wasn't working in the Commander's quarters. _Waste of a good bed_, she had said_._

"You really don't have to go to all this trouble for me, Shepard. I'll happily bunk in the XO's office, save you having to move all your things."

"It's no problem, honestly. I'm the only one left with clearance to that room, best to keep it that way. Plus, I don't own that much stuff; it's hardly a huge operation to relocate them." Shepard tried to keep her tone light and avoid talking about the office in any detail. She feared she had already said too much.

Eilidh was friendly enough and from the conversations they had the night before, it wasn't difficult to see why she got on with Aethyta and Shepard genuinely liked her. But she was still an unknown Asari connected to the Matriarchy. The Commander would be damned if she allowed Eilidh the opportunity to find anything incriminating on Liara.

Dumping the remainder of her clothes on top of the boxed data pads, Shepard turned back to the Matriarch with a smile.

"I'll leave you to get settled. If you need me, I'll probably be in the med bay." With a curt nod the Commander left.

Standing in the elevator, box in hand; Shepard rolled her shoulders, revelling in the familiar warmth of the clean uniform. It felt good to be back in business, especially now the weight of the galaxy was off her shoulders. The Normandy had become the closest thing she had to a home in her thirteen years of service and its steady hum comforted the Commander. Simply being on the ship had renewed her confidence and determination and with the Reapers taken care of, Shepard felt as if she could accomplish anything.

Stepping out onto the deck, the Commander quickly deposited her box in Liara's office. Glyph greeted her in his cheerful, nasally tone. Looking at the wall of screens in front of her, Shepard couldn't make heads or tails of the swathe of streaming information, but nothing looked out of place or in need of her attention. She clasped her hands behind her neck. Keeping her eyes on the monitors, Shepard addressed the drone.

"Status report?"

"Agents in 27 clusters report in. There has been no contact with the Far Rim, Kepler Verge, Nubian Expanse or Sigurd's Cradle in three solar cycles. 4 agents have failed to report within the past twelve hours. A total of 36 agents are unaccounted for since Dr. T'Soni's last sweep four days, nine hours and thirty two minutes ago. Shall I put out the order to terminate them, Commander?"

"_No! - _No. Just keep doing... whatever it was Liara told you to do until further notice. See if you can get in touch with Feron, see what he's up to. I'll check in later."

"Very well. Have a pleasant day, Commander!"

Shepard rolled her eyes as she stepped back out into the Mess. She approached the window of the med bay, watching as Chakwas fussed around the unconscious Asari. A shadow fell over her.

"Loco, huh?"

Glancing to her side, Shepard found herself standing next to a six and a half foot wall of meat. She smirked. Only James Vega could manage to look imposing with his right arm in a sling and left hand holding a crutch. The scars that marked his face did little to hide his youth. Her brows knit, despite the smile that crept along her face.

"What is?"

"You, _papito_." He nudged her with his elbow. "Congratulations. She better be prepared to meet her favourite tío. I'm gonna spoil her rotten, Lola." Shepard quirked her mouth, amused.

"Still with the Lola?"

"Hell yeah. Remember when we first met? I told you that you didn't look like an _Alex. _Still don't."

Shepard remembered perfectly. Seventeen years prior, after saying goodbye to Liara for the first time, Shepard had returned home to find a new boy amongst the rank of street rats she called family. He was surly and spoke broken English, but Shepard saw a lot of herself in the boy. The only thing she had hated was his insistence on calling her 'Lola'. Eventually she just gave up trying to correct him. She smiled at the memory, before returning to the conversation at hand.

"I just hope Liara gets better soon. I'm gonna be terrible enough as a parent, if I have to do it alone? Kid's got no chance." She gave a hollow laugh. James balked.

"Come on, Lola. You've had plenty of practice. Look at me and the rest of the kids back home. We all turned out fine under your tutelage. I mean, Roo's always gonna be an ugly _hijo de puta_, but I don't think baby blue is going to have that problem." He kept his eyes fixed on the med bay, continuing.

"I spoke to David."

Shepard's head snapped around, rewarding Vega with her full attention.

"How is he? Everyone?"

"Not good, boss." He sighed heavily. "In the past three months, half the kids they had on records were lost. And only a handful of bodies have been found. They don't even have time to mourn. Every day more and more kids come knocking at the door, nowhere else to go. Everything's gone to shit, Lola." He turned to look at her and for the first time, Shepard saw a shattered sadness overwhelm the Lieutenant. She leaned into him.

"I know." Shepard made a mental note. _Call him tonight. See what they need. Give Glyph a new project. _She stood straight again.

"Could you help me move something?"

He nodded and followed the Commander to the Observation Deck. She stood at the foot of the chaise longue in the corner_, _motioning for Vega to take the headboard. Together, they manoeuvred it out of the room. James spoke up as they entered the hallway

"You know, I'm glad Scars and Sparks are staying_, _but I'm surprised they're not heading home to rebuild."

"Yeah, when I asked them why, Tali just said she still had a couple of uses for, and I quote, 'That hot Turian bosh'tet.'"

Vega shivered and gave a chuckle.

"Still, it's good to have our dextro amigos onboard. Shame we're not good enough for the galaxy's second human Spectre though."

"Cut _some_ slack, Vega. Can you honestly tell me that if _you_ had family to go back to, you wouldn't be on the first shuttle out of here?"

James shrugged his massive shoulders, conceding the point.

"Duly noted."

They entered the med bay, placing the lounger at the side of Liara's cot, making sure not to get in the way of any equipment.

"You sure the Doc's cool with you camping out here?"

"No she's not, but we're not fighting a war anymore, so hopefully this room'll just be for check-ups and lolly pops. And anyway, I need to be nearby in case my kid needs me. She's a fighter. Just like her _papi_." Shepard grinned, before turning to James. "Did I say that right?"

He shrugged again, giving a nod.

"Close enough. I'll be down in the shuttle bay. You know, if you want front row seats to the gun show." He backed out of the room, kissing each bicep before shooting the Commander a smouldering look. She gave a bark of laughter.

As the door swished shut, Shepard turned back to the prone Asari, sighing. Leaning over, she gave Liara a small peck on the cheek.

"Now don't you go anywhere, I'll be back in a little while. I gotta go Command stuff. I love you."

* * *

.

Several hours past. Shepard had never remembered paper work being so draining. She had gained a little respite in calling David. He looked fried but quickly perked up at her voice, making her promise to visit him once the littlest Shepard was born. It felt good to hear from him again. He had been her first friend and the one to ultimately start her on the path that led her to where she was today. Despite the headaches this life had given her over the years, Shepard couldn't imagine it any other way and after her pot of gold had finally came into view, she didn't want to. She worked well under stress and in a perverse way; it comforted her, her one true constant companion in life. Regardless, at the moment, Shepard was still eager to curl up in a corner and fall blissfully asleep.

After having set course for Canberra, Australia and the first of many medal ceremonies and parades, The Commander slinked into to med bay, unwilling to activate the lights and break the night cycle, she blindly manoeuvred her way to the lounger, blanket under arm. Reaching out for Liara's hand, she gave it a quick kiss before tucking her legs up to her chest and quickly losing herself to sleep.

* * *

.

There were birds chirping. Alien birds that she had never heard before. It was melodic, peaceful. Shepard slowly opened her eyes to see herself lying face first in moist grass, the faint smell of apples filling her nostrils. Rolling onto her back she found she was lying under a large tree. She would have guessed it oak, if not for the smooth purple bark and white leaves that swayed in the breeze. She sat up, pausing slightly to reorient herself. She was light headed again.

Shepard could make out the muffled sounds of traffic and daily bustle coming from the white pristine buildings in the distance. She had been here before. No, _seen_. The name of the place was on the tip of her tongue. At the entrance of the park, she could see a mother and child talking. The girl was jumping up and down, causing her rucksack to bounce and clatter loudly. Shepard smiled, before her eyes widened.

_Armali_. That was it. Before she could dwell on it further, Shepard's attention was drawn upwards by an incessant prodding sensation. She shielded her eyes from the sun, shining just over the crest of a tree, forming a halo, nearly blinding Shepard. So much so she almost failed to spot a blue light perched at the very top of the tree, emanating a wave of eager recognition.

Shepard flicked her head, motioning for her daughter to come down and join her. The light refused, instead copying her motions and beckoning Shepard up. On the ground, she folded her arms, glaring up at the light, a more authoritative tone in her thoughts.

_Get down. Now. _

The light radiated defiance, challenging Shepard to come get her. Shepard surveyed the area around her, flaring her nostrils and releasing a heavy sigh, unimpressed. She watched the mother and child in the distance for moment, thinking. Looking back up to the light, she shook her head and raised her hands in surrender.

_Fine._ She moved towards the tree, testing her footing on the smooth bark, huffing. _The Great Commander Shepard, who could talk a man out of indoctrination. Now look at me. I don't remember either me or Liara ever being this much of a pain_. She frowned up at the light, as she hauled herself over the branches. _When I get up there..._

* * *

.

She was going to the park! She loved going to park. Especially with Mother. She didn't get enough time with Mother, so to combine her two favourite things in the whole wide world made today super special. She began to run, only to be tethered to the spot by the elder Asari. She turned away from the park and looked up confused. Following her mother's line of sight, she saw a figure in the distance. It was an associate of her mother's, _Tova, or Tivis maybe_? Her eyes moved back to her mother, expectantly. Looking down at her daughter, the Matriarch's face was apologetic.

"I'm sorry, Little Wing, but I have to go have a talk with Miss Tevos-"

"No! You said today was our day! You weren't going to do any work. _You promised."_ She whined with a petted lip, stomping. Her backpack rattled.

"Don't pout Liara, it's unbecoming. And I'm sorry, I truly am, but this is really important. I have to go, but I'll be back in a little while, will you be okay?"

Liara deflated like a balloon. She frowned, glaring down at her shoes.

"Yes, Mother." She refused to meet the Elder Asari's gaze.

"There's a good girl." She patted her daughter on the crest, before glancing at the sack on her shoulder.

"What have you got in there?"

"Just some utensils, Mother." She droned in response, looking anywhere but the face staring down at her.

"I'll just be a minute, Little Wing."

With that, she left. Liara sighed. _Adults are the worst._ But she wouldn't let her day be spoiled by stuffy old people. Puffing up her chest, she turned back to the park, the sight bringing out a smile on her face. Her eyes snapped to the blooming purple tree in the distance. It was a Resoya and Liara's favourite kind. _That's where I'll start._

Running to its shade, she let her imagination overwhelm her. No longer was she Little Wing, today she was _Liara T'Soni, Archaeologist! _Maybe she'd find the lost city of Amaltis, discover an ancient civilisation or even a whole new species! _Then_ Mother would _have_ to pay attention to her. She threw her rucksack on the ground, pulling out a small trowel and began attacking the mud with fervour.

Before long, the small area in the shadow of the tree was home to a colony of small dirt piles. Liara's haul was unimpressive; some bottle tops and a pretty looking stone. But she was enjoying herself, with or without Mother. She was about to give up on her most recent dig site, when a white leaf floated down into her field of view.

_That's odd. It's not malting season. _Looking up she saw the branches shaking erratically.

_What's causing that?_

* * *

.

Shepard had finally reached the peak of the tree and came face to face with the bundle. _Ha! Stick that in your pipe and smoke it. In fact, no, wait, don't. Smoking's bad. If I ever catch you smoking, god so help me-_

Her lecture was cut short as she was swarmed by the light and her daughter flooded her mind. Taking Shepard by surprise, she faltered, losing her grip on the branches. She slipped, tumbling down the tree, buffeting leaves and sending twigs flying. She landed on her back with a soft thud, light balanced safely on her chest. While normally such a fall would cost her a rib or two, Shepard felt no pain. _Thank the heavens Liara's PhD. wasn't in gravitational physics_. _That's_ _one good thing about this place._

"Umm, excuse me, are you okay?" A high pitched voice asked, to Shepard's right. She sat up.

Sitting a few feet away was a small blue child, who looked no older than five in human years. Mud was smeared across her clothes and crest, but Shepard was drawn to her eyes, big, opal and inquisitive. She had the cutest pink freckles dotted across her cheeks and had a smudge of dirt on her nose. Shepard's heart swelled at the adorable sight in front of her, wanting nothing more than to wipe the smudge away with a lick of her thumb. She almost forgot she had been asked a question. Shepard cleared her throat.

"Uh, yeah, completely fine!" she kept her tone light, before momentarily narrowing her eyes at the light. _No thanks to you. _The light was indifferent to the accusation. The child seemed not to notice, instead looking surprised that Shepard had even responded. Stumbling to her feet, she brushed herself down and approached the Commander, bowing.

"Liara T'Soni, daughter of Matriarch Benezia and... _other_."

"Please to meet you, Liara, I'm-" Shepard paused. _She doesn't recognise me. _Thinking back to the encounter in the hallway, Shepard was relieved, before her heart sank. Liara doesn't recognise _me_.

This was not unexpected. Eilidh had explained as much the night before. In her memories, Liara would only have the knowledge as she learned it, meaning little Liara would have no concept of Reapers or Protheans. _Or_ _Shepard_. It stung slightly. The light attempted to comfort her father despite not quite understanding the source of the pain. Shepard sent it a wave of affirmation and thanks. If Liara did not recognise her, it would be best not to give her information before she needed it. _So what can she call me?_

"I'm... Red." She gave a soft smile, hoping to win the small Asari over, who returned it. _Good_.

Liara's brow furrowed slightly, eyes never leaving the Commander.

"Umm, _what_ are you?"

Shepard paused, confused.

"What year is it?"

"2092." Liara replied, as if it was the most obvious thing ever.

_Last century? Humans would have barely made it to Mars, let alone the Charon relay. Think fast._

"Then... I... am... _your friend_." Shepard chose her words carefully, and was delighted to see the Asari's face light up.

"Really?" But Liara would not be swayed. "You look like a Calvitursus."

"I've never seen one of those."

"Look in a mirror."

Shepard raised her eyebrows. _Sharp tongue, tiny T'Soni. _The light would have laughed had it a mouth. Instead, it radiated amusement at its father's affront. Liara felt the mirth, and contemplated the bundle, before returning her attention to Shepard, blushing.

"Sorry, that was rude of me." She scolded herself. "_This why you don't have friends, Liara_."

"No, no, it's okay. I just wasn't expecting it. Took me by surprise is all." Shepard hurried, not wanting to drive Liara away again. The Asari grinned, apparently given free reign, stepping closer to Shepard, teasing her.

"I know you look sort of like a pyjak but that doesn't mean you have to act like one. What were you doing in the tree?"

"Oh, I was chasing after this thing." Shepard said, nodding towards the light. Liara looked at it, curious. Shepard felt the light's giddiness, wanting to reach out but afraid of causing offence.

"Can I...?" Liara wrung her hands, echoing much the same emotions as the light. Shepard smirked at the mirror images. Nudging the light to float up, Shepard nodded.

A tendril met Liara's extended fingers, wrapping its way up her arm on contact. She gave a sharp intake of breath at the sensation. Shepard watched bemused as the flurry of emotions crossed her face as joy exuded from the light. Liara met her eyes, a quiet happiness radiating from them. A voice called, coming closer.

"Little Wi- _**Liara**_!"

The young Asari spun around, hiding the light behind her back guiltily. Shepard remained lying on the ground, propping herself up on one elbow.

"Mother! I- they-"

"_Look at this mess_! What if someone sees? You know you're not allowed to just _dig_ wherever you please. _What were you thinking_?" A tall imposing Asari came thundering up, exasperation and annoyance etched across her face.

Liara had been right; Matriarch Benezia looked _stunning _in yellow. Shepard also noticed a light behind her eyes that had not been present on Noveria. A twinge of sadness flashed across Shepard's psyche. She would have liked to have met Benezia like this, The Benezia with a fire in her soul and confidence in her movements.

"I- I was digging. For artefacts." The younger Asari replied weakly. Shepard could sense her cheeks burning even from behind. The light tried to send out reassurance again and Liara's grip around it tightened.

"Oh, Little Wing." The Matriarch lifted a hand to her face, like Liara often did when stressed. "What have I told you about this?" She sighed. "Please, Liara, just... tidy this up. I'll meet you over by benches for ice cream and a clean wipe."

"Yes, Mother. Sorry, Mother."

Benezia gave a gentle smile, before setting off to the picnic area. Liara turned around deflated once more. Shepard fought every fibre in her being not to get up and give the girl a hug. She quickly lost the fight.

"Come here." Embracing the child and the light, Shepard flooded the pair with comfort. Liara accepted the hug, before pulling back, staring at Shepard, puzzled.

"How did Mother not see you? Or the light?"

Shepard shrugged. In her memories, Eilidh had explained that while Shepard could influence Liara and the environment, any other people would act as they did originally, as if a vid was playing out. But Liara didn't need to know that. The child's shoulders sagged slightly.

"Are you imaginary, in my mind?" She rolled her eyes and sighed. "I can't even find any _real_ friends."

Shepard bristled slightly.

"Hey, just 'cause I'm your head doesn't mean I'm not real." She was thankful for the Asari's choice of words. At least this way she didn't have to lie. Liara could always see right through her.

Liara looked at the Commander, raising her eyebrows, unconvinced. Turning back around to the holes in the ground she sighed and bent down to refill them, letting the light float back to Shepard.

Taking pity on the child, Shepard helped her, scooping the mud up with her hands. _If she wants a friend, I'm going to give her the best damned friend ever. _For a while, they worked in silence.

"Mother never lets me climb. She says it is improper for a Matriarch's daughter. What's it like up in the tree?"

Shepard patted down the final mound and stood, studying Liara. After a moment she spoke.

"Wanna come up? I'll show you." She offered a hand, pulling the child up. Liara rubbed her arm, looking sheepish.

"But what if Mother-"

"She doesn't have to find out. And it's not like I'm going to tell anyone. I'm imaginary, remember?" she fired off one of her trademark lop sided grins. Liara's face lit up as she nodded.

"Good. Now, hold my light." She passed the bundle to Liara, who welcomed it. An excited and happy buzz spread across the trio as Shepard hoisted Liara onto her shoulders and stretched, grabbing the branches above.


	6. Varrus Varren Edit

**A/N** - Sorry for the lack of update yesterday. Life just decided to plonk a billion things on top of me that all demanded my immediate attention at once. Then children happened to my laptop and this chapter became a poorly written Balamory fanfic instead of a poorly written ME fanfic, making me have to rewrite all from memory. So sorry if this installment's a bit off.

However, I did get to play the Extended Cut (no spoilers, promise!). Um. Wow. I didn't cry or anything. I mean, I always go for the Alice Cooper look. .  
I loved how it managed to turn the Normandy scene from ass pull to feel destroyer. While my canon ending is still red (I can't find it in myself to trust Ghost boy.) I was inconsolable at the Synthesis epilogue.

Also, you know how when everyone was raging about the original endings, people were all "LOL u shuld b able 2 shoot da Catalyst!". thanks guys, I just about fell out of my chair doing that.

ONE LAST THANG - 'Vari' is actually supposed to be spelt 'Mhairi' even though they sound the same. There are a lot of names I want to use that have funny letters in them, making them confusing. For example, Roo = Roo-ree = Ruaridh and Nieve = Niamh (but then I got annoyed and just called her Ivy). I say this because I got a PM asking about Eiliethyia = Eilidh . For the record, it should be pronounced Ay-lee.

SUPER LAST THANG *pinky promise* - thank you all for your kind words. You have no idea how beaming I've been the past few days, you beautiful, beautiful people. :)

.

* * *

.

She had never thought she'd see the day, but Commander Shepard had finally found herself missing the cold and dreary cobbles of the London slums. Starched up to the nines, Shepard's dress blues were roasting her slowly in the Canberran sun. All of the Normandy crew were swimming in sweat as Admiral Jovanka just _Wouldn't. Shut. Up_.

Shepard found herself increasingly jealous of Tali and her coolant infused suit. The Commander started, as Jovanka turned to her and the crowd gave polite applause she had not been expecting. She steeled herself. _Show time_. Fixing a confident smile, Shepard surveyed the crowd. Marines and Reporters alike looked every bit as uncomfortable as she felt. Of course it was just the Commander's luck that the week the Reapers fell also happened to be one of the hottest in Australian history.

She approached the podium. _Short and sweet and homeward bound_. Shepard knew the drill. She spent the next two minutes giving a rousing, if well rehearsed speech. _Standing in face of adversity. Saw down the threat. Losses not in vain. Now do what humanity does bet. Rebuild. Stronger than ever. Galactic strength. Together we stand. Etcetera etcetera._

When she finished, the crowd erupted with rapturous applause. Wither she had given a particularly stirring rendition or the concept of air conditioning and shade was beginning to look like Valhalla to the sun stroked crowd. The remainder of the ceremony proceeded with haste. What part of Shepard that was not focusing on preventing her passing out, took time to admire the view. Lake Burley Griffin was certainly a sight to behold. _Liara would appreciate it._

Re-entering the shuttle bay, the crew was panting. Ruffling her hand through her hair, Shepard winced as spray fell around her shoulders and sweat dripped down her neck. She overheard Garrus muttering about something trickling through the cracks in his plates and grimaced at the accompanying mental imagery. She made her way to the elevator, seeking a cold shower and a fresh everything, when gruff tones called her name. Turning around she saw James, already stripped to his skivvies, holding a sopping bundle that had been his uniform in his arms.

"What is it James?" she asked, hands on hips, struggling to properly enunciate through her cotton mouth. He looked uncharacteristically sheepish. Shepard almost felt bad for letting her eyes rove down his body. The sheer mass of him perplexed the Commander. He was like a Krogan stuffed into a human body.

"Can we stop off in Brazil on our way to UNAS, Commander?"

Entering the elevator, EDI mercifully buffeted the pair with a blast of cold air, helping James regain his composure. Shepard chided him.

"What's that Vega, los Normandía not good enough for you? Ditching us for the N7's?"

James gave a throaty chuckle.

"Somethin' like that. I want to show off my shiny new Star of Terra so they know I'm not just a pretty face."

"No danger of that, Jimbo. I'm proud of you. Maybe I'll get a matching tattoo, under my lion."

"I'd like that." He shifted slightly, noticing Shepard's continued gawking at his bare chest.

"You know, it's rude to stare. And a committed Commander would lead by example."

Shepard quirked her eyebrow.

"At least buy me dinner first. Or a nice big gun."

Cool metallic tones interrupted their banter.

"Shall I alert Joker to set course for Vila Militar, Rio de Janeiro, Brazil, South American Emirates, Commander?"

"Thank you EDI, keep the departure time for seven tonight."

he elevator pinged, having reached the third deck. The pair stepped out and turned to one another. Momentarily serious, Shepard regarded her lieutenant, her protégé, her friend. She smirked.

"Not gonna lie, I'm going to miss all the unresolved sexual tension between us, Lieutenant."

"Hey, I resolve it just fine. It's you who's all blinded by blue."

Shepard tilted her head, conceding the point. James fixed her with a cocky half grin and tight salute. She returned it.

"Who's like us, Lola?"

"Damn few, James. Damn few."

.

* * *

.

Four hours later, the Commander sat bathing in the glow of Broker screens in the old XO office. Between correspondence with Alliance and Council Officials as well as adopting temporary Shadow Broker duties, Shepard was sure she was slowly going insane. She rubbed at her bleary eyes and tried to refocus on the streams of data. It scared the Commander to realise that with a few well placed info dumps or carefully worded messages, she could bring the galaxy to its knees. The potential for corruption was overwhelming. As was the minute margin of error.

She had all but given up on immediately responding to a particularly angry Volus who was intent on flooding the Sol system with Red Sand and making a killing, buth figuratively and literally. 'DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?' he had raged in all caps and Shepard couldn't help but let out a derisive snort. If only you knew who I am. She sighed. If anything, it had reaffirmed Shepard's career choice. _People were too difficult._ _At least guns are simple. _Nasal tones interrupted her train of thought, prompting Shepard to swivel in her chair.

"Commander, you have received a new message from Agent Feron. Clearance is required to relay."

Shepard reclined, clasping her hands on top of her head.

"Clearance granted. Shoot."

"Date stamp, Earth, Sol, 1705 23/11/2186 CE. Message Follows: Greetings. I have received your report on the Asari. The news is troubling but I trust you will handle the situation with due care. I apologise for my inability to establish vid contact and for the abrupt nature of my correspondence, Comm. systems remain painfully weak out with Council Space. If I may, while I continue offer my services to the Shadow Broker, I request permission to return to Kahje in order to aid efforts on the home world and conduct my duties from there. I look forward to crossing paths once more. Arashu guide you. Message Ends."

Shepard sat for a moment, trying to properly word her reply. She was interrupted by her Omni-tool chiming. Eileithyia's voice crackled through.

"Shepard, could you come to the med bay? Something's happening."

Nursing her brow, the Commander responded affirmatively. Picking up a handful of data pads, she addressed the drone and moved toward the exit.

"Grant him permission. Tell him I'll keep him updated. Send him my best wishes."

"Very well. Have a pleasant day, Commander!"

Looking up from her patient, Eileithyia watched as Shepard stormed through the door, her face, while not angry, was caught in a serious frown.

"You sleeping alright, Shepard? You look like shit."

"Ever the charmer, Eilidh. What's the matter?"

"Well you look like you need a good night's rest in a proper bed and not some _World of Hanar_ piece of crap couch. As for Liara, her brain scans are acting out a bit. Like she's having a nightmare. It's been happening all day but she's only started showing physical signs now."

Looking down, Shepard saw her Bond mate, covered in a thin layer of sweat and shivering violently.

"All day? Why didn't you tell me before?" Shepard shot a testy look at the Matriarch, who met the gaze with her own steely impassiveness.

"Why would I? She's going through her memories. It's not all gonna be sunshine and daisies. And like I said; her body's only started reacting now."

Shepard grudgingly admitted defeat, sighing.

"Is there anything we can do?"

"Not unless you count sitting on our asses and waiting for her to wake up."

Shepard ignored the sarcastic remark. Instead she clenched her jaw, thinking.

"Alright. I want someone here with her at all times. We'll be stopping off again in ten hours. If you want to go get some rest, I'll do the night shift and you can take over when we land in the morning."

"Commander, are you su-"

"Yeah, yeah," Shepard waved her hand dismissively, before motioning to the data pads."Anyway, I've got work to do. No rest for the wicked, huh?"

Shepard tried to give a reassuring grin but it failed to reach her eyes. Eileithyia stared at the Commander a minute longer, before finally caving.

"Fine, but Shepard just remember – no one's going to think any less of you if you just want to relax for a while. I'd say you're only human, but coming from me, that sounds more like an insult."

Shepard held her ground, defiant. Eileithyia shrugged.

"I'll be in the Nest if you need me."

.

Finally alone, Shepard sat on the lounger that had become her bed and pulled up the first data pad. Minutes melted into hours, increasingly dark circles under the Commander's eyes were the only indication of the passage of time. Shepard's head finally began to droop as the fourth data pad slipped from her grasp and the Commander lost herself to unconsciousness.

.

* * *

.

She was in the star field again. However, while Liara's memories always thrummed with background sensations and thoughts, this time, there was nothing. Shepard shivered, unnerved by the complete absence of emotion. She walked, for an indefinite length of time, before she felt a shimmer of nervousness in the distance. There was a light moving towards the Commander_. Her light. _

It wasn't excited, like it usually was. It was scared, but relieved to see her father. Shepard frowned in confusion as the light beckoned. Following, the pair eventually came to what looked like a large, shimmering window. Glancing from the light to the scene on the other side, Shepard tried to make sense of what she was seeing. It looked like a school.

It was a well lit room, the chairs and desks part of the walls and floor, perfectly carved from an off white stone, giving the room a strangely organic feel. Holographic posters hung on the walls, showing pictures of crude blue figures in various styles of period dress.

Shepard was so absorbed in the sight, she had to take a second glance to see a barely adolescent Liara idly prodding a data pad with her finger.

.

* * *

.

It would be wrong to say Liara hated school. She didn't. The learning aspect of it was fine, enjoyable, even. She just didn't much fancy the socialisation involved with the institute. No, that was wrong, too. It was more the lack of socialisation that got to her. It hadn't always been like this. Liara frowned, cursing that _stupid_ Alien Culture class the month before.

To introduce the concept and get the children excited for it, Matron Tireya had asked the class to prepare a talk on their fathers' species. While many of the children already knew what species their father had been, only those with Turians and one Drell still had their sire alive and living with them. Regardless, the children were eager to have an excuse to annoy their parents to tell them more about their paternal heritage.

Going home, like the others, Liara had excitedly bound up to her mother, a thousand questions on her tongue. It surprised her, then, when the Matriarch had dismissed her, with coldness Liara had never witnessed before. She had gone to bed confused that night by her mother's odd demeanour. Confused, but not dissuaded.

After persistent pestering, Mother folded. Liara's father was another Asari. She was surprised at that, and a little bit smug. No one else had an Asari for a father. But as she thought about it, things began to confuse Liara. _Where was she? _In school she was taught that unions were not to be taken lightly, this usually meant Asari bonded for the entirety of the shorter lived species life. The only reason many Asari were raised alone was because the father had passed on. But if her dad was Asari, she didn't have that problem.

Liara got nothing more from Mother. She lost the will to question her when she saw the look on Mother's face. It was a look Liara had recognised from her own experiences when she or one of the acolytes messed up. _It was shame_. But it couldn't be because Mother had nothing to be ashamed of. Maybe she was just sad because Father died or something before they got to spend too much time together. _Yes. That must be it._ At any rate, Liara did not want to add to her Mother's sadness with further inquiries. The teacher would just have to understand.

When it came to Liara's turn to present, Matron Tireya looked shocked. It was probably because Liara hadn't really prepared anything. She didn't have to, she thought. Everyone already knows about Asari. The Matron seemed really upset because she avoided Liara the rest of the afternoon.

The next day was when Liara started hating school. Everyone started calling her Ardat-Yakshi and saying she'd suck out their brains. She thought it was a game at first, one she didn't understand. But then they started throwing things and telling her to go back to the monastery. _What monastery? _Confused, Liara approached her teacher. Matron Tireya offered nothing, dismissing her just as her mother had done before. As she left to return to her seat, she heard the Matron snort and mutter.

"Who am I to question the wisdom of the Matriarch and who she bonds with?"

Liara sighed_. Adults were useless_. But she had the Extranet. Logging on to her terminal, detective Liara would get to the bottom of this. But what she found terrified her and only compounded the confusion. _How was it her fault her Mother chose to bond with another Asari? And what was wrong with it anyway? _Regardless of paternity, everyone in her class was 100% Asari just like her._ Sires contributed nothing biologically and if her father was a good person, what did it matter?_

The Ardat-Yakshi were an equally scary concept. It was a rare condition that anyone could have, but was simply more prevalent in 'pure bloods'. And Liara wasn't even one anyway. At least, she thought she wasn't. It was irrelevant in any case because it was a disease. _People who had the condition needed help, not scorn_. When Liara tried to confront her classmates with this logic, they merely ran away, screaming about how she was going to force a meld on them. _That was an abhorrent idea._ Liara would never do that and it disgusted her that they even joked about such things. With her self confidence beginning to waver, Liara found herself hoping they were just joking.

And so here she was, three weeks later, whiling away time to the school bell playing Singularity Sweeper on her data pad. No one sat around her anymore, instead crowding around a nearby table, stealing glances and snickering but never confronting her. The bell rang. She sighed, picking up her bag and heading for the door. _Sadness or no, she would have to talk to Mother about this._

.

* * *

.

Shepard watched in silence as Liara made her way home on the screen. Trying to pass through it, the Commander placed her hand on the barrier. It rippled but gave little purchase. The light floated beside her, attention solely focussed on its mother, worried.

Through the window, Shepard heard the calls of children. Judging from her emotional state, they were directed at Liara, who quickened her pace and attempted to ignore them. Shepard was unfamiliar with the words, having never heard them before. But she didn't need to know to understand them.

From the pangs of hurt and images that flashed through Liara's mind, Shepard was repulsed at the language the children were using. To even know them at such an age was bad enough, but to have the gall to use them against someone? _Especially when that someone was Liara? _Shepard would never hit a child, however with the anger flaring in her gut, she found herself coming perilously close.

Liara quickened her steps again but the children jogged up to her, keeping pace. One wrapped an arm around her neck, which to a bystander would seem an innocent, chummy gesture. But Shepard heard what the child was saying and felt the sneer across her face as she leaned in uncomfortably close.

The light watched, anxiety radiating from its very core, as its mother broke into a run. The children whooped and hollered, giving chase. They laughed and mocked when Liara let out whimpers and squeals.

Shepard could understand why Krogan loved to hunt, to fight. There was a certain adrenaline that set fire to the primitive parts of Shepard's brain when she partook in the primal competition of dominance. She didn't enjoy it per se, but the sport-like, kill or be killed aspect was second nature to her. So when a Krogan laughed and taunted in the middle of a fire fight, she could accept it. Admire it, even. The noble fight, bare lust for survival spoke to her. She could understand.

Here however, there was no sport. There was only vindictive hatred and desire to harm without respect, without empathy. It turned Shepard's stomach.

Liara jumped, stumbling down a hill. Her mother's estate was in sight. She was nearly home free. She lost her footing, careening down the slope, landing unceremoniously on the gravel below. The children laughed, mocking. Shepard felt tears sting at Liara's eyes and her determination not to let them fall, not to give them the satisfaction. They left, bored.

Bruised, scratched and muddied, Liara limped home, intent on finding Mother. Walking in the foyer, she found her, preparing to leave.

"Mother, can we talk?"

"Not now, Little Wing. I have to go. It's important."

Liara glared.

"_It's always important_. Can we ju-"

"I'm sorry Little Wing but I can't. Do you remember Huntress Tela? She's being considered for Spectre-ship. I have to go and give her an appraisal. Isn't that wonderful?" The Matriarch turned to her daughter

"_Yes_ Mother bu-"

Looking at the messy child in front of her, the Matriarch let out an exasperated sigh

"Liara! What have I told you about digging? It wastes your time and clothes. Why can't you take a normal hobby, like Skyball?"

"_Mother I wasn'_-" Liara's resolve was breaking, the stinging in her eyes becoming unbearable.

"No, now look, I really have to go. I do not know when I shall be home, so you'll have to see yourself to bed. We shall talk in the dawn."

The door slammed, leaving a dejected Liara in the hallway, alone. Slowly she limped up the staircase.

_That did it. _Shepard hit the barrier, making it wobble violently. The light watched her and inspired, decided to copy her father. Whipping out a tendril, she tore a hole in the screen. Shepard quirked her mouth and sent out waves of encouragement, getting the light to repeat its actions. After a few swipes, a hole formed, big enough for Shepard to force her way through.

Whatever emotions Shepard had felt through the screen were amplified tenfold without the protection of the barrier. She gave a sharp intake of breath at the concentrated blast of negativity. The light cowered, clinging to her father in fear.

Shepard felt compelled to run and under other circumstances, she would have. However, Liara was in there and she had to help her. Taking a moment to collect themselves and reassure each other, the pair stepped into the foyer.

Even if she couldn't pick out Liara's consciousness from the tempest of emotions, Shepard could follow the audible sobs. She grimaced, jaw clenching at the sound. Standing outside the child's door, Shepard braced herself, taking a deep breath. Opening the door, Shepard squinted, unable to locate the young Asari. Her eyes eventually fell to a small bundle on the bed, rising and falling dramatically.

_Oh_, _Liara_.

Any anger Shepard had felt toward her tormentors was engulfed by the immediate desire to comfort the sobbing child. She approached the bed, making her presence known, not wanting to frighten Liara. Perching on the edge of the bed, Shepard reached out a hand, gently patting the Asari. Liara's head whipped up, staring at the Commander with faintly purple, bloodshot eyes. Recognising Shepard, Liara leapt, clawing desperately, unwilling to rescind her grasp.

Shepard accepted her, clasping the child in a tight embrace as she tried to combat the pain and hatred with calm and comfort. They sat, gently rocking for an indeterminate amount of time, Shepard murmured reassurances as she nuzzled her cheek against Liara's crest, waiting for the child to speak.

"Why does everyone hate me?"

"Nobody hates you."

"Then why do they enjoy hurting me and making me feel bad?"

"Th- they're children. They're teasing. They don't realise how hurtful they're being. I'm sure they don't mean it. Not really." _That was bare faced lie_. Shepard saw how those children reacted. She was aware of how those prejudices carried into adulthood. All she could hope was that some would grow out of it.

"What about Mother, then? She _never_ talks anymore. We don't even spend time together like we used to. And we hardly spent any time together to begin with. If she doesn't hate me, she certainly doesn't like me."

"That's not true, she just-" _What was she supposed to say_? Her advice usually consisted of get hurt, get mad, get back. _Fat lot of use that was now_.

"-She ju-. _Look_. Sometimes, people get so wrapped up things they think are important and spend so much time thinking about the future, that they forget to appreciate what they've got right now. She doesn't hate you, Liara. She's just... _distracted_." She ended limply.

Liara made a sound, unconvinced.

"She is ashamed of me. Like my father."

Shepard pulled the child away from her, holding her at arms length so she could look the child in the eyes

"Now that's just silly. Why would they be ashamed of you?"

Liara looked down into her lap.

"Because I am a disappointment. I do none of the extracurricular activities Mother wants me to. And because I- am... a- a _pure blood_. That is why my father left."

Shepard sighed.

"First of all, you are not a disappointment. Secondly, your Mother only wants the best for you, which for her means doing as she does, so she can keep an eye of you. That doesn't have to do what she wants. You do what _you_ want. You could never disappoint your Mother."

"And third, how did you even reach that conclusion?"

"She left. I know she didn't die. Asari culture teaches us to enjoy one another's presence when we can, so we have memories when they are gone instead of dwelling on what was lost. If she died, Mother would recall her fondly. She doesn't. Because she left. _Because of me_."

_God damn it, Aethyta. You owe me one. _Shepard bit her lip, thinking of what to say. _Choose your words carefully._

"Liara. I promise you, that had nothing to do with you. That was between your mother and your father."

"How could she just leave me?"

"She- I_- I don't know._" Shepard answered truthfully. Growing up in London, Shepard had often wondered the same about her own parents but had never really been given time to dwell on it. A silence fell between them, punctuated only by Liara's ragged breath.

"See? She _was_ ashamed of me. I'm nothing but an embarrassment and a humiliation."

That annoyed Shepard.

"_No_."

She got up from the bed, instead kneeling in front of it, bringing her face level with Liara's.

"You are brave and intelligent and kind. Any parent would be proud to call you their daughter, any person proud to call you friend. Anyone who says you are an embarrassment or humiliation does not deserve to be graced with your presence."

Liara stared at her, eyes caught between defiant stubbornness and an annoyed amusement.

"Do you call me friend?"

"I call you my best friend." Shepard smiled, and was relieved to see Liara return it. Sitting back on the bed, Shepard hoisted the young Asari into her lap, hand rubbing up and down her arm comfortingly as Liara leaned into her. Shepard sighed.

"Sometimes, adults do stupid things that don't always make sense."

Liara's brow quirked as her small fingers idly traced patterns on the Commander's arm.

"That's the smartest thing I've ever heard you say."

The light, which had been watching the scene with trepidation, floated from the doorway to the contented figures on the bed, happy that the pain had gone away. Liara looked at it apologetically.

"Sorry for scaring you away, Vari."

The light exuded happiness and acceptance as it brushed against the pair.

"Vari?" Shepard asked, looking between Liara and the light.

"Yes. I had to give it a name. It was getting slightly tedious just calling it 'the light'."

Shepard bowed her head slightly, conceding the point.

"So what does 'Vari' mean?"

" 'Star'."

"So, _light_, then?"

Liara gave a slight laugh, shrugging. Shepard turned to the light. _What d'you think_? The light shone enthusiasm. _Then Vari it is._

They sat in silence once more, Liara's mood darkening slightly.

"You saw the way they looked at me. Am I going to have that forever? Because of who I am? Am I always going to be alone?"

Shepard rested her head on Liara's crest again, thinking. It would be at least fifty years before Liara met her proper. And she couldn't lie. _Wouldn't_. She swallowed.

"Not... _always_. Don't get me wrong, there are going to be some rough patches, some days when you feel like it can't get any worse. Days where you don't feel like eating and all you want to do is crawl in a corner and hide from the world. And as much as it sounds stupid now, you've just got to plough through those days and trust me that it gets better. Sometimes, to truly appreciate things in life, we have to know what it's like to live without them, making our time spent with them feel all the more special."

Liara remained silent, content in the Commander's embrace. Shepard decided to change the topic, unsure her words were all that comforting.

"I have two friends who are... _purebloods_." Even after three years, that word still didn't sit right on the Commander's tongue. Liara perked her head slightly, the Commander taking the movement as a sign to carry on.

"One's a Justicar and the other is the most powerful person in the galaxy." Shepard smiled fondly at the memory of Liara, _her_ Liara. _Shadow Broker and Co-Saviour of the Galaxy_ Liara.

"She's as smart as she is beautiful. She's saved my skin more times than I count. I mean, I've saved hers a couple of times, too, but I could spend the rest of my life repaying her and it wouldn't even scratch the surface of what she's done for me. It's not going to stop me trying, though."

There was a tightening in her chest. _Please wake up. _

Shepard lost herself in thought, so much so she failed to realise Liara was looking up at her, studying her face.

"You love her."

Shepard was brought back from her reverie but didn't look down at the young Asari, instead keeping her eyes fixed in the middle distance.

"Yeah."

Liara held her gaze

"You miss her."

"Yeah."

Unsure of how to broach the subject further, Liara simply hugged Shepard tightly, trying her best to comfort the woman, forgetting her own problems. The Commander couldn't be sure how successful she had been in consoling Liara's fears but she was slightly happier, at least, for now. Vari circled around them, basking in the calm and warmth.

"What was the Justicar like?"


	7. Broking Bad

"No- but Councillor, listen-"

"No Commander, _you_ listen." Councillor Sparatus bit back, causing his hologram to shake slightly. "Now that the adrenaline from the Reaper war is wearing thin, people are becoming increasingly sceptical about the need to retain galactic relations. We need you to belay the dissent Commander. People are losing faith in the Council."

"Is it any wonder why? As soon as the Reapers fell, you were more than happy to go back to pretending like it had never happened, demanding everyone give you respect you've done little to earn. You want to regain faith? Open up the Council to every space faring species, _like I suggested ten months ago. _And yes," Shepard ploughed on, denying the Turian Councillor a chance to interrupt.

"I _am_ including the Rachni and Geth in this. They've got just as much a right to a seat as you."

Sparatus looked furious, his mandibles flaring wildly. Forcing himself to calm down, his eyes narrowed on Shepard.

"And as _I_ have said, we will consider your proposal. _In due course."_ He shifted on his feet slightly and clasped his hands behind his back, a cue that Garrus had informed her meant the Councillor was no longer competing with the Commander and instead would attempt to reason with her.

"I take it you read the news, Shepard? Some people are growing tired of your _extended vacation."_

Shepard frowned. Vacation was the last term she would use to describe the past eleven months. After saying a heartfelt goodbye to James in Brazil, the rest of the Earthen leg of the tour had gone relatively smoothly. To date they had made visits to fourteen clusters and watched as the galaxy slowly rebuilt itself. Which while time consuming, it was hardly taxing.

Of course, with the increase in galactic activity came an increase in work for the Shadow Broker. Every time Shepard felt as if she had finally got on top of her new role, a sudden flurry of new issues and problems arose, drowning her once more. Her workload had gotten so severe over the past month that Shepard had actually started making use of the Office's sleeping arrangements, instead of retreating to the Med Bay at night. However Shepard always made sure to keep to one side, unwilling to lose Liara's scent from the room completely.

She shook her head, realising she had zoned out from the Councillor's incessant chirpings. She rubbed her eyes, more out of habit and frustration now than actual tiredness.

"I- I'm sorry, what were you saying?"

Sparatus ruffled, agitated.

"I was saying, _Commander_, despite your allegiance to the Alliance, as a Spectre, your first duty is to the Council and Galactic civilization. People need to see you working for _us_, Shepard, instead of stroking the egos of your former employers. People are beginning to talk."

"What people?"

"Well, I-" he became slightly flustered. "al-Jilani has been claiming-"

Shepard snorted derisively. _Khalisah al-Jilani and her tabloid journalism._ Shepard rolled her eyes, frustration rising.

"Yeah well, I dismissed her claims." She grumbled, finger quotes flapping madly at the hologram. Sparatus sighed.

"You are still holding that against me, Commander? I simply made a mistake, and given the circ-"

"_Mistake!" _Shepard blurted out, exasperated. "Tell me Councillor, how many lives did your _mistake_, cost? How many people died because you- y- you know what? I give up," She raised her hands in surrender, finally snapping. "I'm not arguing this with you anymore. You obviously don't listen and I doubt you even care-"

"Commander, we-"

"pssscchhhhh. What's that? I can't- shchhhhhhh. Joker, are we going through a tunnel? I'm losing- tschhhhh." Shepard's voice was monotone as she made static noises, slowly backing out of the room.

"Commander, this isn't only an audio call. I can see you."

She held his gaze, continuing to make the noises before raising her voice.

"I can't hear you Council-chhhh you're going to have to speak upsssssch."

"_Commander_?"

"Oh look I am yelling quieter now because I am further away from youuu..." She trailed off. Reaching the doorway, Shepard turned, waving her hand above her head, before hitting a switch on a nearby console, terminating the call.

"Ugh." She slumped back through to the elevator in the empty CIC, all non essential crew having been reassigned before leaving earth, so that only Donnelly, Daniels and a handful of others remained.

_Was she being immature? Probably, but the Council's constant demands had been wearing thin lately. In truth, I could have done a lot worse than just hang up._ She sighed. Despite being a monumental pain in the ass, Sparatus and the Council had a point. She had been slouching in her Spectre duties lately. And she couldn't run from them forever. But she also wasn't going to abandon her family, leaving the Commander with a conundrum. _What was she going to do?_ Or more accurately, _how was she going to get out of this_? It would still be a few years before she could safely resign, quietly and outside the public consciousness, _but until then? _

Shepard flopped onto the seat in the XO Office, thrusting her fingers roughly through her hair before moving her hands over her face. _At least back in the Reaper days, there was fire fights and action to break up the paper work. _She splayed her fingers and looked at the streaming data wearily.

_One night off couldn't hurt, could it? _She bickered with herself for a few more minutes, two sides of her battling for dominance, despite having already decided which voice would win out. Abating her conscience, Shepard hit the intercom, addressing the ship.

"All crew please report to the Port Observation Deck immediately. And yes Joker, that includes you. Also, Tali; could you wear a clear mask, we wanna see that beautiful face of yours. Oh and bring your Emergency induction Port. We are gonna go _hard_."

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* * *

.

It was safe to say that Priority: Poker and Hooch was a success. She had never been a big gambler and quickly found herself liberated of more creds than she was scared to admit. The game quickly descended into light hearted banter, with Eileithyia and Chakwas staring each other down and the room quickly dividing into humans and aliens, battling for dominance, once and for all. It was worth it, Shepard thought, to see her friends genuinely happy and care free for once, even if slightly more inebriated than absolutely necessary.

She eavesdropped fondly at Garrus and Tali's exchanges through the night. They were mostly non verbal, a furtive glance or a brushing of fingers that lingered just that one second longer than necessary; it seemed that some tics and expressions spanned all species. It was cute. They deserved it.

Their exchanges brought Shepard's thoughts to Liara and their blooming romance on the SR-1. _Simpler times. _What began as fond recollections soon turned morose as Shepard found herself yearning for the Asari's touch, for Liara to whisper her name in a way only she could, making goose bumps erupt over her body and the hairs to stand up on the back of her neck.

The night was winding down and after EDI excused herself, carrying Joker to his bed, bridal style, Shepard found herself alone in the room. Sighing wistfully, she stumbled to her feet and made her way to the Med Bay. _Jusht going to take a qu-hic- look. Make shure she's alright. _

The only lights in the Bay were those of the monitoring equipment, casting Liara in a soft aqueous glow. Shepard gave a hazy smile as she approached the bed. _My Blue Angel_. She glanced down, placing her hand on the Asari's growing bump. _Angels. Goodnight, my lovelieshh. _Stepping back to retreat to the Office, Shepard's legs rattled against the lounger behind. She floundered before landing clumsily on the furniture. _It's a lot comfier than I remember. And my eyes are kinda heavy. Let me just rest them, five minutes, s'all..._

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* * *

.

Shepard came to, standing in a brightly lit marquee. She flinched, momentarily blinded and tried to shield her eyes from the omnipresent shine. Eyes adjusting, she turned to her left, spying a large trestle table, filled with silver trays and champagne glasses. The faint whiff caused her stomach to turn and head to throb violently. _Dear god, Shepard. I didn't drink that much did I? _

The throbbing quickly faded as joy and comfort flooded her like analgesic. Spinning around, Shepard came face to face with a floating Vari. The Commander gave a wide grin as she clutched her daughter to her chest, before examining her intently. In the time she was gone, Vari had changed considerably. No longer was she a wispy, indeterminate bundle. Instead Shepard saw arms and legs, as well as the unmistakable shape of a crest and faint shadow of a mouth and eyes. While still radiating light and remaining ever so fuzzy, Vari could now pass for a baby, if one did not look too closely. Shepard beamed.

_Let's go find your mama, shall we? _Vari nodded vigorously, excited to see her father once more. Scanning the crowd, Shepard eventually spotted Liara, older, almost adult, as she talked animatedly to two humans, a woman with wild ringletted hair and a man in quaint tweed and bowtie. Liara and the woman, as well as several other guests, were dressed in ceremonial robes and carrying glass frames. Shepard knew few people who had went to university but from the vids she had seen, there was no mistaking that this was a Graduation.

Shepard shifted through the crowd just as Liara finished talking to the couple and moved toward the exit. The Commander followed her, struggling to keep up. Moving onto the street, Shepard was momentarily confused by Liara's vanishing act, before spotting her in a conservative dress, having already removed her robes and tucked them under her arm. She glided almost effortlessly through the crowds, a feat which Shepard struggled to mimic, instead bumping into passersby and automatically apologising to people who took no heed of her.

After several minutes of cat and mouse, Shepard was relieved to see Liara had taken a seat in a small café, idly watching the crowd with a cup in her hands. Shepard sauntered up, trying her hardest to mask her panting as she caught her breath.

"'Sup, Doc?"

Liara looked up, startled but pleased when she recognised the faces in front of her. Rising from her seat, she lifted Vari into her arms, rubbing noses with the blurry child before addressing Shepard.

"I was beginning to worry that you'd forgotten about me."

"Please, you're the most memorable woman I know."

Sitting down at the table, a second cup had miraculously appeared. Vari paid no attention to the adults, instead focusing on the architecture of her surroundings. Looking at Liara, Shepard turned sheepish for a moment, scratching the back of her neck nervously.

"Sorry I didn't mean to stay away for so long. Time got away from me, been a bit busy lately."

Liara gave a soft snort, accepting but not enamoured with the excuse.

"Doing what?"

"Information Broking, for a... _friend_."

All previous derision vanished, replaced by a sympathetic grimace as Liara scrunched her nose.

"Information Broking? I wouldn't wish that upon my worst enemy."

"Oh?"

"I'm just saying," Liara shrugged "It's an awful profession, drawing the scum of the galaxy and wading through each other's dirty laundry. All keeping secrets that shouldn't be kept and underhanded deals forcing alliances that haven't been earned. Dirty business." She lifted the cup to her mouth, peering at Shepard over the rim.

"I feel sorry for you, but your friend's a fool for getting involved."

Shepard, slightly taken aback by Liara's vehemence, tried to keep her tone light and nonchalant.

"So, I shouldn't come to you if I ever want to find something out?"

Liara gave a laugh.

"Unless it's about Protheans, no. It shall be a cold day in hell before you see 'Liara T'Soni: Information Broker' on a plaque outside my office."

That felt like a stab in the chest. While Shepard knew that Liara never revelled in her most recent occupations but she was never aware of the outright distaste the Asari had for the profession._ Liara only took it up to rescue Feron from the Shadow Broker. The Shadow Broker had only captured Feron as he and Liara attempted to steal my body from him. And that had only happened because I had died_. _It was my fault._

No matter how direct or indirectly, Shepard, on top of every other pain dying brought, was responsible for Liara leaving her dream job for that of her nightmare. And then to become the Shadow Broker, the pinnacle of everything she loathed and despised, like some cruel, ironic punishment? Liara had been the Galaxy's chew toy for two and a half years. _And it's all my fault. _

Noticing her companion's uncharacteristic hush, Liara spoke up, concerned.

"Did I say something wrong?"

Shepard snapped from her thoughts, wide eyed.

"No! No, it's just some heartburn," she rubbed her chest "from the... _tea_." _Can you even get heartburn from tea? _Liara gave her an inquisitive look, before trying to make up for her supposed faux pas.

"I'm glad you're here. It was nice to see someone today. I was hoping Mother would show, but I guess I should have known better."

"How so?" Shepard asked, despite already knowing the answer. From her jaunts in Liara's mind, she had found the Asari only mentioned things that she would want to talk about, either consciously or unconsciously. Plus, regardless of the tone or subject of a conversation, she always seemed happier, as if relieved to have gotten it off her chest. In these situations, it best to simply let the Liara speak freely and express herself.

The Asari shrugged

"Mother and I have not spoken in ten years. We have not spoken in any depth for fifteen. I thought, despite everything, she would still want to see me graduate, achieve something. I thought wrong."

"I know she did not approve of my area of study but I did not think she actively despised it. I don't regret following my own path, but she is still my mother. I just hope we haven't burnt all our bridges, so to speak."She sighed, fixing Shepard with a forlorn gaze

"Is it always going to be like this between us?"

Shepard surveyed her, knowing full well how their relationship would play out and that Liara had, for the most part, seen the last of what she knew as her mother. In a way, it made Shepard darkly relieved she had lost her parents young, thus lacking proper memories to miss them by. However, it was because of this, she found it difficult to find the right words to comfort Liara. She knew what the Asari wanted to hear, but Shepard couldn't lie to her.

Instead she opted to stay silent and rub Liara's arm, offering soothing reassurance in place firm rebuttal.

An uncomfortable silence fell on the table, only punctuated by gurgles from Vari. The birds amazed her and the child's astonishment and wonderment infected the adults, relaxing them again.

Tearing her eyes away from Vari, Liara studied her cup, tracing a delicate finger around its rim, catching Shepard's attention.

"Somethin' wrong, Blue?"

Liara looked up, bashful.

"Oh no. Well, sort of. Y-you. You're _human_."

Shepard stared, perplexed.

"I... know?"

Liara blushed furiously.

"No, it's just... One of my friends is human. She's told me all about Earth history and space travel. Humans were only discovered about twenty years ago. But I've known you since my childhood."

_Oh_. Shepard finally caught on, unsure how to explain the discrepancy without damaging Liara's psyche. _If she found out now, that'd be nearly a year's work down the drain. I can't lose them now. I won't._

While her exterior remained calm, fear and uncertainty gripped Shepard's gut as she tried her best to hide the emotions and prevent them from bleeding into her companions.

Liara seemed not to notice the tightening in the human's demeanour, instead returning to tracing her cup.

"It's just, I don't know, I always thought you were imaginary. I mean no one else can see you. I thought you were my little secret. But I'm not a seer. I can't tell the future. So how did I know about you 60 years before anyone else did?"

Shepard struggled to contain her flustering, so much so that Vari turned her attention to her father, worried.

"I- uh I don't know. The universe works in mysterious ways. The mind's a strange thing, Liara; maybe you had a vision from the future zapped into your brain or something? _Echoes through time_, you know?"

Growing up in slums, where a few choice words meant the difference between life and death, Shepard had honed her skills to become a Grade A Bullshitter. However, the few times she had used these skills on Liara, she had been caught out immediately. Trepidation threatened to consume her as she watched Liara mull over the words.

If her face had the necessary definition, Vari would have raised an eyebrow at her father's fumbling and sent a wave of cynicism, suspicious at Shepard's change in manner. _That's a bit complex for a baby, isn't it? And anyway_ _don't give me that look. Just... trust me, okay? _Luckily, this Liara was not yet so attuned to her body language and accepted her words, if slightly doubtful and dismissive of them. She turned to Vari, gently caressing the child's cheek.

"And what about you, hmm? A lucky charm? A big ball of snuggles and fuzzies?"

Vari's attention was snatched away, giggling as Liara set about tickling her, before shooting Shepard her own questioning glance.

"What do you think, Oh-Wise-One-From-The-Future?"

"I think," She smiled, warmed by the scene in front of her "That she represents hope for the future, in all its unknown quantities. Something to hope for, live for, fight for."

Liara gave an amused grin as she rolled her eyes.

"I had no idea you were so poetic."

"I try." Shepard shrugged, ever so slightly smug, before changing the subject, preferring to move to something less prone to collapsing her Bond Mates consciousness at any given second.

"So, been up to much since I last saw you?"

"Apart from my degree? Not much. Before we stopped talking, Mother had been pressuring me into... _experimenting_ more." Her face bloomed in colour, tickling Shepard. It had also caught Vari's attention, who gave her mother an inquisitive look, deepening her purple hue further.

"I- It's just that at this stage in life, Maidens are supposed to be out experiencing the world and collating knowledge to turn into wisdom in later life. Just because I do that through study and in ruins instead of seedy bars or fighting does not make me a bad Asari."

Shepard shrugged, agreeing.

"Hey, you never know, your research might end up saving the Galaxy one day."

"Please, don't get fanciful. When has archaeology ever been about saving a world, let alone an entire Galaxy?" Liara rebutted, a smile playing across her face.

"All I'm saying is that sometimes, things happen for a reason, even if that reason isn't immediately apparent."

Liara tilted her head, either conceding the point or unwilling to challenge it any further. She spoke again, quieter, eyes fixed on the cup in front of her.

"Regardless, to experiment, you need to socialise and I am not the most social of people. Plus my hobbies quickly dissuade anyone interested in talking to a Matriarch's daughter. I'd be lucky to ever take a part time lover, let alone a Bond Mate."

"Hey," Shepard sounded affronted, masking her concern with an amused slant in her tone. "You're intelligent, beautiful and have a heart of gold. Plus you're crazy young, y'know for an Asari. Don't sweat, give it time, you'll find the right guy,"

"Or girl." Shepard raised her own cup to her lips, as if trying to drown out her own words.

"Well, that is part of the problem. I do not know what I am even attracted to. I've never felt drawn to anyone in that way. What if I am a Matriarch by the time I am 400?" Liara slumped.

"It would take a particularly intense individual to even interest me, let alone make me want to pursue."

Vari turned to Shepard queestioningly.

_You? _

_Me. _She shot the child a wink, the smallest hint of a smug grin on the corner of her lip. Vari clapped, amused.

Turning her attention back to Liara, Shepard examined her face as she was deep in thought. This was the Liara she had first known; so unsure and self conscious, unconfident in her abilities and unaware of her own potential. It was endearing, if frustrating at times to talk to her and make her understand just how valuable she was to the team, as an asset and a friend.

Shepard also found it incredibly fun messing with the Asari and pushing her buttons. Just sitting, watching this earliest form of her Bond Mate that she had known made Shepard feel as if she was on the first Normandy again, caught up in the heady winds of new love. It was taking every ounce of her will power to stop herself from flirting with her there and now. Shepard's resolve was slowly crumbling and she instead steered the conversation into more neutral waters.

"So, what's the first port of call for the good Doctor?"

Liara's eyes lit up as they always did when talking about her research.

"_I'm_ going to the Mars Archives." She said, her own brand of innocent smug creeping along her face.

Shepard looked momentarily stunned, as if the final pieces of a puzzle had fallen into place. If Liara was going to the Archives, she would be stopping off at Earth, where she would first meet a young, as of yet unnamed Shepard. _She had finally found her Liara. _The Asari failed to notice the slightly goofy smile on the Commander's face, instead sporting her own one just as wide.

Vari looked up between her two parents, both grinning like madmen. She scrunched up whatever parts of her face had been fully formed. _Adults are weird_.

Liara was the first to break out of her reverie as she turned her attention to her drained cup, talking to herself as much as Shepard.

"You know, I feel really good about this trip. I mean, _really_ good, as if it's the most important trip I'm ever going to take, and the rest of my life, everything I have been, everything I am, everything I will be, all centres around this one trip." She gave a small laugh. "Maybe you're right. Maybe some things do happen for a reason."

Shepard looked up, barely listening, caught up in her own thoughts.

"Hmm? Oh yeah, right, of course." It warmed the Commander to see such unbridled joy in Liara's face. Shepard had decided that she didn't want this moment to end; she could quite happily bask in the Asari's glow for eternity.

Everything the Commander knew about the archives came from Liara, which meant Shepard knew just the right questions to ask and humour the Asari. Leaning her elbows on the table and resting her chin on interlaced fingers, Shepard peered over at Liara, drinking in the sight, preparing for the barrage of emotions that was about to sweep the table. She kept her tone teasing.

"So, these Archives, then. From what I hear, it's a pretty exclusive club, how'd you manage to sneak in?"

A childish glee ignited in Liara's eyes.

"Well..."


	8. Red vs Blue

**A/N -** Thanks for the kind words once more, you lovely people. To the anon asking about Chakwas' line in CH3 - That was a bit of 'Who. It's possibly the only fandom I love more than ME. My favourite companion's Ace, FYI, just in case you couldn't tell.

In this chapter: flashback to F.L.A!

Also, don't worry, it gets better soon, promise!

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* * *

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Kahje was moist. On the Tri-Western Archipelago of the Silver Sea, Shepard was struggling to breathe. It felt as if she was having a particularly painful bout of asthma and was in some kind of ungodly sauna. The bio dome cities below water were supposed to be far more hospitable for non-aqueous life but it was decided that it would be safest to meet on the surface, the unpleasant conditions driving away all but the most committed of assassins.

After the usual ceremonies, this time tailored for Hanar and Drell sensibilities in addition to another patented Shepard speech, the Commander sat in her now damp dress blues, waiting for her contact. It had been nineteen months since the end of the war and Shepard was growing slightly impatient as her tour was nearing its end. She had more pressing issues waiting to be dealt with compared to the ego stroking and photo opportunities the Alliance had saddled her with.

She strummed her fingers against the marble. Only Tali and her suit were impervious to Kahje's unwelcoming conditions, so it was she who decided to wait with Shepard, while Garrus and the rest retreated to the ship. They were all ready to get off this planet. Looking for anything to take her mind of the humidity, Shepard glanced at her Quarian compatriot.

"Looking forward to seeing Rannoch, again?"

Tali's head perked up, flicking excitedly in Shepard's direction.

"It will be brilliant, Shepard! Auntie Raan says the Geth upgrades are nearly fully functional, meaning within a month or two; I won't need to a wear a suit! I will be able to feel the grass under my feet, in my own garden, _outside my own house_! I'll have space! Who would ever have thought a Quarian _would have space_? I've already drawn up blueprints for my house and I have several plans for extensions. I don't know which one to do first! Garrus said he would help; his Turian craftsmanship would bring a touch of gentility to the place."

"Actually, Shepard, speaking of Rannoch, Garrus and I-"

Whatever Tali had intended to say was cut short, by a violent bubbling in the sea. Seconds later, a shuttle burst forth from the surface before calming down to a calm bobbing. Slowly, it made its way to shore. Stepping out of the vehicle was Feron and behind him a Drell that Shepard did not recognise. While Feron was slightly smaller than Shepard both in height and physique, the unfamiliar Drell easily stood at six feet, with broad hips and sported an odd mane that draped around their shoulders. Otherwise they were nearly identical to the admittedly limited number of other Drell Shepard had met in her life.

Conscious of their exposed nature and vulnerability in the open space, Shepard said nothing, only nodding in acknowledgement and motioning towards the Normandy. All eager to escape the unpleasant surface atmosphere, the quartet quickly made their way aboard.

As they entered the Mess, Tali quickly excused herself and marched to the Main Battery, wringing her hands as if preoccupied. Shepard watched her go curiously as she and Drell took their seats around the table. Feron offered his hand.

"Commander, it's good to see you well." He gestured towards his companion. "This is Kyllia. She is my bodyguard. And wife to be."

Shepard beamed and offered her congratulations.

"Thank you, Commander. You are too kind. We of course would like to extend an invitation to you and Dr. T'Soni when we finalize a date. Feron speaks very highly of both of you. He says you saved his life."

"Only after he helped save mine. Thanks for that, by the way."

He flashed a bashful smile.

"Without getting ahead of ourselves, but you do know about..." Shepard turned to Kyllia as she waved her hands, pointing to herself and Feron. "Everything?"

"The business with the Shadow Broker, Commander? Yes. I am fully aware." Her tones were soft, dulcet and melodic in comparison to Feron's rasp.

"Actually, Commander, that is why Kyllia and I are here. I have something I wish to discuss with you."

"Oh, sure, okay. But, uh, I have something to ask you first."

Feron's brow furrowed at Shepard, but willed her to go on. Under the table she wrung her hands. And took a deep breath. _You can do this. You want this_. _Relax_. She exhaled, fixing the couple with a shaky grin

"Well, as you know, Liara and I are... _expecting, _so we're going to have our hands full for about the next forty years. It's hardly conducive to successful Broking. So, if you want it, how does being the Shadow Broker sound?"

Feron looked startled. Kyllia placed her hand over his, giving a reassuring squeeze. He looked at Shepard, a thousand thoughts running through his mind.

"Y-you want to just _give_ me everything to do with the Shadow Broker?"

"Yeah, of course. Without a doubt, you're the top operative, plus there's no one else I'd trust more in the position."

He shifted in his seat, stroking the ribbed muscle of his vocal chords sheepishly.

"While I'm honoured, I fear it will be incompatible with my request, Commander. I'd like to resign as an agent."

"Oh." Was all Shepard could manage, as weight dropped in her stomach. _Shit_. "Any reason why?"

"I was born into this work, raised since a child to fulfil the Compact and excel in matters of a more... _duplicitous_ nature. However, once my Compact was adequately fulfilled, I saw no reason to leave my profession." He gave a tired sigh."Two years incarceration under the previous Shadow Broker and this war has wearied me, Commander. One thing this war has brought is a chance to renew, begin again. I hope to seize that chance."

Shepard just barely managed to mask her sinking disappointment as she watched the pair. _Of course he wants out. That's what I want. What kind of person would I be if I begrudged him that? _He looked back to Shepard, nervous at her prolonged silence.

"If that is okay with you, Commander?"

She tried to keep her tone light and steady.

"Yeah, of course. It was just a suggestion anyway." She waved her hands dismissively. Feron accepted her statement, beaming as if a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

"I cannot thank you enough, Commander. I've been worried about broaching the topic for quite some time. We are indebted to you."

Shepard gave a pleasant smile, shaking her head.

"Not at all."

"At any rate, thank you again, Commander. How is Liara? May I see her?"

Shepard nodded, motioning to the Med Bay.

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* * *

.

Feron and Kyllia stayed for an hour longer as they caught up, regaling Shepard with the tale of how they met; an odd meet cute involving Feron attempting to extract data from her omnitool as it was on her wrist. Shepard enjoyed his company, despite the occasional guilty pangs she felt, remembering her unease around him two years ago when she thought him a rival for Liara's affections. Eventually, they bid their goodbyes and Shepard waved them away from the cargo bay. As soon as the expansive door clamped shut, her expression fell. _Well, shit._

She stomped back up to the third deck, throwing herself down on the lounger by Liara's bedside. She was happy just to fume silently, her thoughts only punctuated by the steady beep of medical equipment around the bed.

Feron had been her master plan. She had put everything on this. _What am I going to do now?_ To simply dismantle the Shadow Broker network would cause a power vacuum and pave the way for someone unstable and dangerous to take the reins. At least this way, in charge themselves, they could keep the underclass, those that operated out with the system, under control. To take away that fear was to enable a wave of enterprising criminals, cutting chunks out of a galaxy not yet fully healed. The Shadow Broker couldn't simply vanish. A message would have to be sent in order to stop anyone reclaiming the throne.

On top of that, the council had renewed their torrent of calls, demanding some form of work from her. They sent a barrage of fresh leads, systems to investigate every day, expecting Shepard to simply drop everything and go after them. If she didn't take on their work, she at least had to present the illusion of working on a lead of her own.

Over the past few months, Shepard had given it vigorous thought. While she would be happy just to fade into the background, the media would never let herjust fizzle out. If she was going to leave, it would have to be in a blaze of glory. A big one. But big inevitably meant dangerous and she'd had enough danger for both her lifetimes.

"What am I gonna do, Li?" she said to no response. Not that she had expected one.

Shepard sat, stewing in her own imaginings, still no closer to a possible solution as she drifted off into an agitated sleep.

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* * *

.

"Perhaps we could pick it up afterwards, over dinner, or at least, what passes for it on this ship?" Alex grinned. "Y'know? Properly catch up. And hey, if you play your cards right, I might even let you dissect me."

Liara only blushed. Alex held her gaze, her grin softening.

"Liara, I'm glad I found you again."

"As am I, Shepard."

The Commander bowed and made for the door. She reached out for the green hologram.

"Alex!" Liara gasped, striding up to the Commander and spinning her around.

"I almost forgot to properly thank you for rescuing me from that barrier down in Therum."

She clenched her fists, steeling herself. Leaning up on tip toes, Liara gave Alex a peck on the cheek. Shepard attempted to form a response, but only produced a startled high pitched squeak before vanishing through the door.

Liara turned around, cheeks burning but jubilant at her uncharacteristic display of forwardness. She stopped dead in her tracks however, when she saw someone occupying her cot. Reclining, holding a small child in her hands sat- _No. Goddess. How? It couldn't be._

But it was. Shepard sat on the cot, watching her, a strained smile on her face. She looked older, leaner, weighed down by stress and tiredness. A subtle anxiety radiated from her, which seeped into Liara, producing a fresh gnawing in the Asari's gut. Shepard's smile faltered further as Liara continued to stare, agape.

"_Alex_?"

"The one and only. Or two, as it so happens." She offered a lop sided grin that was slightly too wild to be comforting. It quickly vanished whenshe realized the Asari would not return it.

"What's wrong?"

Liara stood,hands moving to cover her still open mouth. Her eyes boggled as she stared at the door she had just seen Shepard walk through, before moving her gaze to the bed. Anger flared within Shepard at her companion's lack of cordial greeting. She managed to mask it on her face, but it was still there, slowly permeating from the haggard Commander.

Liara opened and closed her mouth several times as several questions formed and faded on her tongue in quick succession.

Shepard sat, quietly confused, unsure of how best to respond. She bristled slightly. Vari struggled in her arms, uncomfortable with the current atmosphere in the room. Liara approached them, pointing a finger at Shepard.

"You. You're the Commander." It wasn't a question. Or perhaps it was. Liara wasn't quite sure herself. Shepard, still not confident enough to speak, merely nodded, eyes warily regarding the Asari.

_How could this be? She was just in my head. But she is here. She rescued me from Therum. How can she be here, twice? She doesn't look like Alex. Well, she does, but a pale imitation. Alex is cool, calm, collected. She had her face plate smashed in by a Krogan and even then didn't stop quipping. Yet here she is now, lying on my bed. But that's not her. She's too old. Too tired. Too pale. She's not my Alex. Can't be._

Alarms began to sound in Shepard's head. Somehow, things were going wrong. But she couldn't understand. The last time she was with Liara and Vari, down some ruin shortly before Therum, she had happily and animatedly explained to Shepard her plans and attempts to create a functioning Prothean cipher. They had left on good terms. Great terms, even. Fear was beginning to bubble in Vari, which Shepard tried to quell, instead failing and imbuing the child with her own growing dread.

After a minute's silence, Liara spoke, struggling to keep her voice level.

"W-why are you here?"

"I came to visit you. Make sure you and Vari are alright."

"Well I am alright; Commander Shepard just saved me from Geth and a Krogan."

Shepard felt the implication in her words. She was not _the_ Commander Shepard. Liara didn't trust her. The worry in her gut was joined by a sudden flash of anger and overwhelmed her slightly, breaking free and brushing against Vari. The child quickly broke free from her father's grasp, moving to the opposite end of the bed. Shepard missed the warmth immediately, feeling oddly alone in the small room.

Sitting up straight and fixing the Asari with a solid stare, Shepard spoke, slightly affronted.

"Liara, I'm me. I promise."

"Then who just walked out my door?"

"I did. Kind of."

"_How_?"

Shepard bit her tongue. Frustration flared inside her. She was tired keeping secrets. But they had come too far. To give in now was unthinkable. Despite the words bubbling on her tongue, Shepard swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm herself.

"I- I don't know." She said almost petulantly, giving a weak shrug. Liara stared at her, boggle eyed once more. _She wanted to believe her_. But she couldn't bring herself to commit to this insanity as doubt and worry gripped the Asari. Liara brought a hand up to her head, nursing her brow as she chose her next words carefully.

"If you are her and she is you, there must be something that only Shepard could answer." She searched the Commander's slightly strained face, as if sifting through her mind, looking for something.

"The scar. How did she get the scar on her face? The one that's glowing orange on you."

Shepard absent minded traced the length of the scar down her cheek and along her jaw. Her frustration was rising and couple with the dread in her stomach, it was getting harder to control.

"It was an alley way. On Earth. Someone threatened to hurt you. So I killed him." She was a touch more blunt than she had intended to be, but Shepard struggled to find it within her to care. She felt as if she was on Illium all over again.

Only when Vari picked up on her father's callous tone did Shepard regain her control, a chill dousing all anger in her. Vari was getting scared. _Shepard was making her scared_. She fixed her eyes on the ground, all colour draining from her face. _I don't know how Shep, but somehow you've screwed up big time._

Liara's mind was still reeling. _It's not possible. None of this is. It doesn't make any sense._

"I-I need to think about this, I need to get the Commander." She hurried from the small room.

"Liara!" Shepard shot up from the bed, hand outstretched. Ready to follow her, she pressed the button for the door. The room quickly melted, only to be replaced by an exact replica of itself. The door swished open, Shepard was startled, coming face to face with Liara again. However, fear and confusion had left her, instead replaced by a hollow dejectedness.

Looking down the Asari, Shepard noted that instead of her usual medical smock, she wore the body suit that accompanied her old Phoenix Armour. Her face, while mostly wiped clean, still bore flecks of blood and Rachni entrails. Concern flooded Shepard.

"Are you alright?"

"I just watched you kill my Mother. What do you think?"

The anger within Shepard had transfered to the Asari. Shepard was immediately cowed by the bitter tone. _This day was going from bad to worse._ Vari squirmed in the corner, uncomfortable still.

"I- sorry. I did not mean to snap." All bitterness left Liara as she slumped to her desk.

"It's just- I- _Oh Mother._" She hung her head in her hands, letting out a faint sob. Shepard instinctively moved to comfort her, placing a hand on her shoulder, which was promptly shrugged off. Her hand whipped back, as if burned. She felt a tightening in her chest as she watched Liara favour solitude over her touch. She backed down onto the bed, a miserable cloud falling over the three.

"It's not Alex's fault. She put her out of her misery. She pulled Mother back from the darkness, so she could say goodbye and enter the light. Oh w_hy did you do it, Mother?" _Liara was as much speaking to herself as she was Shepard by this point. Vari floated over to her mother, offering comfort of her own. Liara accepted. While such a display would normally warm her, it only served to highlight the cold in Shepard. She felt useless, worse, her mere presence seemed to be causing the pair distress.

Liara remained muttering at her desk, Vari floating protectively around her, while Shepard sat on the bed, awkward. Half of her wanted to bolt from the room, to hide and pretend this never happened, but the other half stubbornly refused to leave Liara in such a state, determined to offer comfort of some kind, regardless of what other pains encircled her.

"Indoctrination." Liara's head rose, as if a break through had been made. She turned to study the Human

"Mother was indoctrinated. She said there were voices in her head. Hallucinations. Telling her lies, dripping poison in her ear. They were so convincing. Then they turned on her, making her cold. Breaking her. Bending them to her will."

Shepard was growing uncomfortable and increasingly self conscious under the Asari's glare.

"Who are you?"

"Commander Alex Shepard, Commanding Officer of the SSV Normandy." _SR-2_ she added mentally. It was a lie of omission, perhaps. But any lie was still a lie, regardless of how one tried to justify it. She felt a sinking in her gut, knowing where this was going to end up.

"Why are you here?"

"To help you. Keep you safe."

Liara snorted.

"How? All you do is stand around and talk. Nobody can see you but me."

Shepard hung her head. She wanted to explain everything, earn her trust. _If only Liara would understand._

"How did you get here?"

Shepard glanced at Vari before moving her eyes back to the floor. _Damn it, Shepard._

"I-I don't know." She said, defeated. Now it was just a case of riding out the storm. She felt as Liara's boiling frustration infected her. But Shepard refused to act on it, instead letting in stew into simmering anger.

"_You don't know?_"

Letting out a frustrated sigh, Liara leaned back against her desk, head in hands. She murmured.

"You knew about Mother. When I asked you if it would always be the same between us all those years ago, back at café. You knew yet you did nothing. Tell me, what _do_ you do?"

_Look after your Shadow Broker Network._ Shepard clenched her jaw, barely stopping herself from spitting back. _The Network she hates. The Network that's hers because of you. You've ruined her life, Shepard. Look at all the pain you've caused. Everything bad in her life is because of you._

Instead she stared at ground numbly, guilt joining the soup of negativity bubbling in her gut.

"I don't know. Look, please, Liara, trust me."

"Don't lie."

"I'm not lying. I'm being economic with the truth." Shepard snapped back, regretting the words as they left her mouth. A cold steel shone in the Asari's eyes, mirrored in her dangerously quiet tone.

"Show me your arm."

"What?"

"Your arm." A flash of biotics whipped at her right arm, tearing her sleeve and leaving the slightest of cuts, drawing blood. Liara barely took notice, instead grabbing the Human's wrist and pulling it straight to get a better view of her bicep.

Tattooed, there was a lion rampant, sky blue in colour above an N7 insignia. Liara shook her head, dismissive.

"Red. Alex's tattoo is red. And she didn't have _that_," She sharply prodded the designation etched in her skin.

"_They don't just change colour_, why is yours blue and hers red?"

She couldn't explain. _How could she? It hadn't happened yet. Not for Liara._

"I don't know."

The Asari gave a mirthless laugh.

"You're not Alex. You're a fraud. A pale imitation. Nothing but a figment of my mind. You won't drip poison in my ear."

Liara looked up at the ceiling, her hands running the length of her crest.

"_Goddess_. I've been indoctrinated. That's what you did. You indoctrinated me."

"No, I-" Shepard reached out an arm to once again comfort the Asari. Liara stepped back, away from Shepard's searching hand. It fell lamely to her side.

On the cot, Vari quivered, terrified. She fled to Liara, who clutched her to her chest. All fire and fight evaporated from her.

"Please. You say you want to help me, if you want to keep me safe, please, just leave. Prove you're not a construct."

Shepard stared at her, slack jawed, a vice like grip around her chest. _Cold. So cold._

"_Liara_-" She pleaded, _begged_.

"Go." There was a finality in her tone. Liara wouldn't look at her.

Almost in a daze, Shepard stood and moved towards the exit. _What else could she do?_ Opening the door, she found herself face to face with her doppelganger, four years and a lifetime younger. She looked straight through Shepard, to Liara as worry, concern and sympathy played across her face.

This Alex would make things better. Comfort her. Shepard had never been more jealous of anyone in her life. Without a backwards glance, Shepard stepped through the door, into the bright light of the Medical Bay.

.

* * *

.

Shepard woke in a dim light, on another ship, four years in the future. She felt empty, Alone. Shepard sat numb, not daring to glance at the unconscious Asari beside her, what had just happened and why she was feeling more tired than ever.

_Fuck_.


	9. Two Out of Three Ain't Bad

**A/N** - Well, if ever there was a case against drinking and scribing, that last chapter was it. In my drunken haze, I tried to go for unmitigated angst but instead it came out all overly emotional waffle. It managed to do all things I wanted it to do but the execution sucked. I'll fix it at some point. To make it up, here is an infinitely superior mammoth of a chapter. The masochist within me loves the angst you get from Liara in ME2. It hurts so bad but feels so good!

FUNFACTZ - I finally settled on who the Virmire Survivor was. I never much cared for either Kaidan or Ashley, considering the stab you in the back in 2 and then they're all snippy up until they get their face smashed in in 3 and then just expect to play besties once they're out of hospital. I like Kaidan since he seems less of a tool, but Ash has got a far better character arc. Hence when it came to my first play through of ME, I dropped K like a bad habit purely 'cos Ash had a more poetic journey. I think I would make a good Commander IRL.

.

* * *

.

The water of the shower, having long since run cold, beat down hard against the Commander's body. Not that she was paying attention. Over the past week, Shepard hadn't paid much attention to anything, going about her duties numbly as if on autopilot. She ate and slept as required, if only to belay the suspicions of the remaining crew. When they greeted her, she gave a curt nod and a smile that just fell short of her eyes. That was one thing she couldn't hide. The customary flame of her soul extinguished, her natural drive and motivation having deserted her.

She wasn't sad. Well, maybe a little sad and disappointed, but she was mainly at a loss for what to do, preoccupied with thoughts of the week before. It had been a mistake going near Liara when Shepard had been in that state of mind. Things had been fantastic for once, and she had gotten sloppy and careless. Then Feron, through no fault of his own, brought her plan crashing down around her ears. It had felt like a punch in the gut and had made her mind swim with anger, confusion, uselessness and agitation.

She had gone seeking comfort in the mind of someone who was in no condition to offer such, and she had ended up projecting her anger and agitation upon Liara, quite literally. And it had shown. Try as she had, Shepard's unrest had oozed out of her and infected Liara and Vari, which was reverberated and reflected, exponentially growing between the three. While she had found her Liara, it struck her that perhaps she wasn't Liara's Shepard. Not yet. As icing on the cake, they also had unfortunate timing with Liara's mother and well, everything had promptly gone to hell in a hand basket.

She had decided not to sleep in the Med Bay until she had a plan of action. One that was fool proof and didn't hinge upon the sacrifices of others. She gave a joyless laugh. _Most people would pick up an extra shift in a shop if they needed a second job. Not me. I become the single most powerful underground mob boss in existence. _She sighed as a bemused grin spread across her face. _If only people knew the dichotomy that was Alex Shepard's life._

_Still, _she thought, stretching, letting cool streams trickle down the sharply defined crevices of her back, _Better the devil you know. And I'm goddamn Beelzebub. I should be hunting the Shadow Broker down, not doing her dirty work. _Her mind ran idle imaginings of Spectre Shepard in closely contested combat with a Brokered up Liara. _They were perfectly matched, knowing one another's every move, every weakness. Weaknesses that could be exploited. _A surge of desire flared in her core at the thought. A voice in her head chided her, she argued back. _It's been a year and a half. I'm only human. And anyway, Liara's not the Shadow Broker right now, I am. And it's not like I can chase myself, now, can I?_

_Can I?_

She gave a sharp intake of air as the icy water finally registered against her skin. As if a fog had been lifted, Shepard's mind raced with possibilities. If she did trick the galaxy into thinking she was hunting the Shadow Broker, what if someone found out? _Then again, who would be foolish to challenge the Shadow Broker, especially with the knowledge that the Shadow Broker was also the same Commander Shepard who saves galaxies and eats Reaper for breakfast?_

She paused. _But is it right?_ After Torfan, Shepard had made it her one rule to always act without any ambiguity, moral or otherwise. It hadn't always worked out fantastically, but it went some distance in easing her conscience and kept her sane, especially after Bahak and Aratoht. Another voice snorted in her mind. _The Shadow Broker's taking the moral high ground? Please, a small breeze and you'd fall and break your neck. _She found herself, against her better judgement, agreeing with the voice.

A cautious grin crept along Shepard's face as she twisted the nozzle, turning the shower off before grabbing a towel. _This just might be crazy enough to work._

"EDI?"

"Yes, Shepard?"

"Could you send Glyph a copy of the Normandy's logbook for the past six months? Also, could you do me a favour and not mention this to anyone?"

"Of course Shepard. Out of curiosity, may I ask why?"

"I'm retiring, EDI,"

"_In style."_

_._

* * *

_._

Six hours later, Shepard sat in front of the bank of terminals, fingers dancing across the keyboard at lightning speed. Glyph hummed quietly in the corner, correcting the Normandy's logbook to show activity in what could be considered Shadow Broker hot spots; pockets where there was a high concentration of Agents and otherwise suspicious activity.

Activating the voice masking microphone, Shepard recorded her broadcast.

"_This is the Shadow Broker. Reports indicate Commander Shepard has been active around your location, asking questions and making demands not conducive to our operations. If the reports are accurate and she is baying for my blood, make no mistake in thinking she would hesitate to spill yours in order to reach mine. Continue standard procedures but be on high alert. If seen, do not approach or challenge. Remain hidden at all costs. Information regarding Shepard is to take new priority. Shadow Broker out." _

She reclined in her chair and sighed. Having sown the seeds of her covertly uncovert operation all that remained now was to initiate it; send the broadcast, alert the Council, perhaps even _accidentally_ leak the Normandy's log to the press. However she wouldn't without Liara's backing. It was her Network. While Shepard could easily guess her Bond Mate's response, she wanted to be absolutely certain before setting the plan in motion. But still, it was there, ready to be sprung into action and the Commander felt as if a monumental weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

With two out of three of her problems all but dealt with, Shepard strode from the Office, grabbing an apple from the Mess before arriving in the med bay, determined to make it a hat trick.

.

* * *

.

When she awoke, she was in a bed not her own. It felt hard, as if it was new, or at least, saw little use. Staring directly above her, Shepard couldn't help but give a wide smile. Vari floated, a foot or two overhead, cooing, enraptured by the fish tank behind. Glancing down, she was slightly startled at the sight of her father. She drew herself in slightly, hesitant, as if she was unsure Shepard would want her. The Commander opened her arms, welcoming Vari. A burst of excitement from the child washed over her father as she plopped herself down on Shepard's chest, winding the human slightly.

Vari was growing quickly. While still fuzzy in her features, Shepard could clearly make out ten pudgy fingers and toes attached to grasping hands and kicking feet, as well the tentative beginnings of a fine crest. She was the same beautiful shade of blue as Liara and just as curious and inquisitive. Shepard's heart swelled at the sight. Her eyes were covered in a white fog as wisps still surrounded her face, masking parts that were still under construction or yet to be decided on. It wasn't long until she would be born and Shepard felt a buzz of excitement at the idea of being able to hold her daughter in the physical realm.

Vari, sensing her father's attention, pointed towards the fish tank, letting out another coo as she relayed her wonderment to Shepard. Sitting up, The Commander held Vari and turned to face the tank. They spent the next few minutes pointing at the patterns of the fish, while Shepard told the child about her own aquarium.

At the mention of a Prejek Paddle Fish Liara had bought her, Vari's head shot down, as if struggling to remember something, her aura turned uncharacteristically serious. She looked at her father with wide wispy eyes as she sent rudimentary images to Shepard. The Commander saw flashes of second hand memories. _Liara, on an escape pod pressed flush against the window, taking no notice of Chakwas' hand on her shoulder, crying_. _A funeral, empty casket draped in Alliance colours, the children from the orphanage, now adults as well as the first Normandy's crew; Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Ashley, comforting Liara as she sobbed uncontrollably_. She sighed.

Turning away from the fish tank, she surveyed her surroundings. This was Liara's apartment. Shepard swallowed. _Not the best place to start fixing things_. But she wasn't leaving, for real this time.

Laying Vari on the bed, Shepard stood and started to make her way down the stairs, only to find the child floating alongside her. _Don't you want to stay up here? _The response was an instantaneous 'no'. Shepard cupped the child's cheek, before bringing her into her chest. _No matter what happens or what is said, know that your mother and I love you very much. You're safe, okay? _The child nodded, settling her head into the nook of Shepard's neck. Taking in a deep breath, the pair made their way downstairs.

.

* * *

.

It was quiet and cold in the spacious apartment, even managing to draw an echo from Shepard's near silent padding. The only light came from the glow of the cityscape outside the expansive window. Nearby were couches, on which sat a figure, so still one could mistake her for a mannequin. Shepard approached gently, loud enough to make her presence known, but quiet enough so as not to startle Liara. She was empty, hollow, radiating a stark nothingness. She very well could have been a mannequin. Apprehension bubbled within Vari, which Shepard firmly banished as they sat on the couch adjacent the Asari. They remained quiet, studying her, Shepard knowing the Liara would speak when she was ready. Her first words were a murmured monotone as her eyes stayed fixed on nothing in particular, looking out the window.

"Is my imagination here again to mock me?"

"No. And I wasn't mocking you. I wanted to see you, but I had my own problems, let them get in the way. I scared you, maybe even hurt you. _Both of you_. I'm sorry. It won't happen again." Shepard kept her voice firm and confident but gentle. She couldn't expect Liara to take solace from her if she herself lacked conviction. Silence fell for a few minutes more.

"You're dead, you know. The _real you_, I mean."

Shepard's veneer faltered at the insinuation as she felt a pang in her chest and was immensely grateful as she felt Vari swoop in and calm it. _Together_. _If she couldn't help Mother, she would damn well make sure Father would._

"I know. But I'll come back." Shepard gave a small smile, recalling young Liara. "I even came back before l arrived. I always come back, Liara. I promised you. I keep my promises."

Liara finally looked at her, fixing Shepard with petulant stare, a mix of anger with a tinge of curiosity.

"You never promised me that."

"Not yet. But I will. And I'll keep it. No matter what happens, or for however long. I'll come back and I'll wait."

Liara gave a soft snort. Although her body language didn't change, Shepard could feel the anger dissipate from her. She turned back toward the window out of stubbornness, unwilling to look at Shepard rather than uncaring. The Commander let out a small sigh of relief. _That's more like the Liara I know. _After another silence, the Asari spoke.

"This is what I do now. I work. And when I'm too tired to work, I come home and sit. Waiting. Do you know what it's like to wait, unknowing, unfeeling, for two years?"

"Yes." This got a reaction from Liara. Her head snapped around again, a startled expression on her face. Shepard met her with a calm, determined stare before continuing.

"It's lonely, isn't it? Pretending to everyone around that you're fine, happy even. The uncertainty's the worst, I think. You stumble around blindly, doing what you think is right, when really, you have no idea, right and wrong lose all meaning. And then, when you do something, you sit and you worry if it was the correct thing to do, or if you made a mistake. Hope helps, for a while. But hope only lasts so long and eventually, your left, clutching at straws, broken, empty."

"But it gets better. Because no matter what happens, we always come back. Oh we have to do a lot of fighting to get back, but we get there in the end." She slightly tightened her grip around the child on her lap. "And eventually, we'll get our happiness. In time."

Shepard was glad to see the Asari's posture ease up slightly as her features softened.

"That's if you- _she_ still wants me after what I've done. I wouldn't be surprised if she hates me. I wouldn't blame her."

"Liara, nothing you could ever do could make me hate you."

"But I gave y-her to Cerberus!" she blurted, eyes widening as they shimmered with tears. Shepard fought hard to keep her expression calm and firm, not moving from the couch to envelop the Asari in a tight hug, instead giving her the space she needed.

"They're everything you stand against! I stole your body and gave it to your enemy. I tried to lie to myself, saying it was because the Galaxy needs you to fight off the Reapers. But it's not. It's because I'm too weak. I can't live without you. You died and I was weak. It's selfish. I even got my friend killed trying to get you back. An- and you know what? I'd do it again if I had to. I've changed so much because I couldn't accept that you died. I became everything I hated because I was too afraid to let you go." She stared intently at the floor, as if ashamed to raise her head.

"I don't even know what will happen. Will they bring you back? Would you still want me? Or would you hate me, look at me with contempt and disgust, like you should?"

Shepard was silent for a moment, thinking of what to say next. Idle reassurances would get her nowhere. She had to empathise.

"You know, Liara, two and a half years ago, I had nothing. My ship, my crew, my _title_. All gone. I was on trial for a _terrible, awful_ war crime. I lay in bed one night, thinking. I was thinking what I would do to make sure I saw you again. I thought about my war crime. If I had met anyone who had done what I did, I would put bullet through their brain, no thought necessary. But then I thought, if that's what it took for me to find you again, I would do it without a second hesitation. And that scared me. Then I thought of what else I would do. I never found my limit. I stopped thinking when it got too dark."

"So I understand what you're feeling. But I need _you_ to understand that despite the universe's worst intentions, nothing is going to keep us apart. Not even death."

"I love you, Liara. I always have and I always will. I promised you. I keep my promises."

An easier silence fell. Shepard stared out the window, taking in the view she never had time to before. Illium, for all its faults, was breath taking, the epitome of urbanised architecture. Holographic Billboards lined the walls, advertising all manner of things. One even sponsored the time, displaying in large red letter '06:30' followed by 'Time; sponsored by Accutacle". It was absurd.

The silence was interrupted by the demanding tones of Liara's omnitool. She looked to Shepard, as if asking permission. She shrugged and nodded her head. A voice crackled through.

"Nyxeris, is something wrong?"

"Dr. T'Soni, no. Yes. Kind of. Maybe. I've just received a priority message from Operative Lawson. Shepard's alive. And she's docking at 0700."

Liara's eyes bolted to Shepard, stunned. The Commander offered her an encouraging smile.

"Well, go on then."

.

* * *

.

As soon as Liara hurried out the apartment, the scene melted away. While Shepard and Vari remained couch bound, they instead found themselves in a familiar cabin with a fish tank all its own. Shepard could feel her own memories being drawn out, filling in the blanks while Liara remained absent.

They sat facing her bed, which treated the pair to a profile view of a slightly younger Shepard, pouring drinks, a nervous smile playing out across her face. The pair watched her with vested interest. Vari was just happy to see her father in any shape or form, but Shepard had a stranger fascination. She looked at the woman in front of her. She remembered being her. She had been stressed and tense about the upcoming trip through the Omega-4 Relay but she was quietly optimistic. She had bested death and while nothing was exactly the same, she had got her girl back. It felt as if there was nothing she couldn't to achieve if she put her mind to it. She was Commander Shepard. She was indomitable.

She glanced down her body. She was wearing a long sleeve black and white, high collared tunic with a white trim. The Cerberus logo on her chest and sleeves had been childishly scribbled out in black marker but apart from that, she looked fantastic. Shepard remembered rushing up to her suite as soon as Liara had accepted her invitation, fretting over which of her five outfits to wear. Her wardrobe was mostly unflattering or overtly practical and work oriented.

The only two outfits that really made Shepard feel attractive were the tunic and the dress Kasumi had bought her. She had considered wearing the dress, thanks to its ability to accentuate her ladylike figure. She decided against it however, when she remembered that, while her figure was ladylike, her mannerisms most certainly were not. Wide legged Crotch shots were not the order of the day. Liara liked suave and class, so Shepard was going to be the classiest, most suaviest person ever. For a short while, at least.

The door chimed, causing both Shepards and Vari to perk up. Turning toward the entrance, Cerberus Shepard beamed.

"Did you enjoy the tour?" Oh _god, I sound like a love struck teenager._ Vari looked up at her father with mirth, basking in her discomfort. Shepard pouted back.

"Yes, it's a lovely ship. I ran into Joker. He asked if we would be acting scenes from some vid called 'Vaenia'."

Both Shepards simultaneously blushed as the Cerberus counterpart tried to parry the comment. Vari tilted her head, confused, before pressing into her father's mind, seeking answers. Shepard shook her head, denying her. _You're not finding out what that means until you're at least sixty._ It was Vari's turn to pout.

The conversation on the upper level continued as a curious Vari kept attempting to float upwards, trying to catch a glimpse of her parents interacting, happy for once in what felt like a very long time. Shepard found herself struggling to keep her hands around a constantly struggling waist and angrily thrusting her finger over her lips, signalling silence_._

Eventually, Cerberus Shepard moved down to the lower basin, gesticulating wildly, unaware of the two silently bickering figures on her couch.

"Cerberus planted Intel there to lure the Collectors. Horizon was bait."

"Those bastards." It still took Shepard by surprise to hear Liara swear every so often. It felt so unnatural she had to stifle a laugh, before turning furious eyes on the child in her lap. _If I ever hear you so much as utter-_

Liara had moved down into the lower basin, intently focused on Cerberus Shepard so much so that she too was unaware of the added company, walking past them to comfort the Commander.

Knowing what was to come next, Shepard took her chance and quickly manoeuvred into the office, crouching out of sight behind the desk. Once again, Shepard raised her finger to her lip and, in understanding, Vari copied the gesture. Feeling safer behind the wall of ships, Shepard and the child chanced a look, watching the scene unfold before them.

"If this all ends tomorrow, what happens to us?"

Cerberus Shepard's mouth quirked, affecting her sauviest nonchalance.

"I don't know, marriage, old age and a lot of little blue children?"

Vari looked at her father, finger pointing inward.

_Me?_

_You. _The child looked unbearably smug as she returned her attention to the scene. Shepard rolled her eyes.

"You just _say_ these things." Liara gave Cerberus Shepard a playful dig on the arm, before turning to the dresser, leaning for balance as her facade fell, tears streaking down her face. The smug on Vari's face immediately turned to concern. Shepard rubbed the small child's back, comforting her. _It's okay._

"Goddess, Alex, _you were dead_."

"I got better." Cerberus Shepard was firm but not unkind. Liara spun on the spot, clutching the Commander close, before letting go and drifting.

"This time. But you're going to leave again. When your team is ready, you will leap through the Omega-4 relay." She turned around again, facing up the room. Shepard and Vari ducked slightly; however, Liara's attention was solely on the Commander directly in front of her.

"I spent two years mourning you, so if we're going to try this, I need to know you're always coming back."

Cerberus Shepard, still in suave mode, tilted her head, but abandoned the smug smirk from earlier.

"I don't know, that's a pretty big promise to make."

Something stirred within Liara's mind. _Promise_? She had heard Shepard promise her before, but Shepard, _this_ _Shepard_, hadn't promised anything up to this point. Banishing the rogue thought, she joined in the banter, her voice dropping an octave.

"Oh, is it?"

Shepard leaned in close, breathing in Liara's scent. _God it had been too long. _

"I'd have to have something special to come back to_._"

Liara's breathing hitched as she struggled to keep up her playful demeanour.

"I'm- open to... _suggestions_."

The devilish smirk returned to Shepard's face.

"How about _this_?"

Liara's eyes blackened. Up at the desk, Shepard was relieved. At least she wouldn't be able to spot them now. She smiled at her daughter before her eyes widened in horror. She knew what was coming next. If she left the memory, Vari would be left behind while Liara and Cerberus Shepard... _reacquainted_ themselves. _That kind of thing scars a child._ Popping up, Shepard quickly stole a ship from the display, handing it to her daughter, urging her to play.

The next hour was possibly one of the strangest in Shepard's life. It was proving difficult to keep the small child distracted with ships and data pads when twenty feet away, her parents cried out in various states of distress, with Shepard having to convince her increasingly sceptical daughter they were okay. _Seven different kinds of okay. _Shepard also struggled with her own impulses, genuinely curious to see just what was happening. She couldn't recall ever making some of the sounds that came from the bed, a few even sounded impossible to produce for an organic. _It's not voyeurism if I'm watching me, right?_ She shook the idea from her head, instead focussing on not ruining her daughter's life before she was even born.

Then came the fish tank. Shepard cursed the Asari affinity for water as Vari was once again enraptured by the vibrant display. The Commander settled on holding the child in a tight hug, one strong arm latching in place as her legs folded tight around Vari, allowing little movement despite incessant squirming, while the other pointed to the different species of fish as she explained them. The Maritime lesson was cut short as a deliriously self-satisfied, naked Shepard strode past the pair, into the bathroom.

Staring after her father's posterior, Vari let out a loud laugh, once again revelling in her father's embarrassment. Shepard shot down a dirty look. _Hey, some people are too busy saving the Galaxy from imminent destruction to spare time to go tanning. I make that, what? Four times now? You're welcome, by the way._

_._

* * *

_._

After a rambunctious hour's tussle in the sheets, Liara and Shepard lay tangled together in bed. Liara's head was nestled in the crook of Shepard's neck as they embraced one another in a loose hug, Liara gently caressing Shepard's right arm. They enjoyed the silence for a few minutes before Shepard spoke.

"You know, Li, I'm serious about what I said."

"What part?"

"All of it. Marriage, old age, children, coming back. I want to do it. I'm _going_ to do it. Whatever it takes."

Liara opened her mouth to speak, but was quickly cut off.

"Look. I know it sounds stupid, me saying this now, and before you begin, I know the chances of coming back alive are slim, but they're still chances. I have to do this. And hey, as we've found out, not even death can stop me."

Liara shot her a disparaging look, but was only met with soft, searching eyes.

"I love you, Liara. I promise you I'll come back. I'm always coming back. I keep my promises."

Despite the encroaching smile on her face, Liara frowned at the familiar words once more. She moved her attention to idly tracing her hand up the Commander's arm and stopped dead. The lion tattoo was where it had always been, except this time, when she ran her fingers over it, instead of seeing the stark contrast of crimson and azure, her fingers nearly vanished into the blue hue.

"W-what is that?"

Shepard looked down at her lover before switching her gaze to her right arm.

"Oh, this? When Cerberus put me back together, they got rid of all my scars and tattoos. Well, almost all, they couldn't do anything about my face. Not that I wanted them to. It'd look weird without my scar there. And now it's got a cool orange glow." She shot a childish grin at the Asari in her arms, before realising she had lost track.

"But the tattoo; that was the only thing I missed, so I got it redone as soon as I could. Took a while though, turns out this shade's pretty hard to find."

"Why that colour? You were a member of the Tenth Street Reds."

"I was, but that's not important to me anymore. Anyway, lots of my favourite things are blue. Blueberries, the Alliance, a certain species. Well a certain person of a certain species."

She glanced at Liara, smirking, seemingly unaware of the troubled look on the Asari's face.

Liara's mind raced. She thought back to the first Normandy; in the make shift den, her confusion, fear, anger at the imaginary Shepard. She recalled the pain in her face as she told her to leave. _Oh Goddess. She was right._

Shepard interrupted her musings, rolling on top, straddling her prey.

"What can I say, T'Soni; I'm under your thumb. And I _love it_."

She glanced at the bedside clock, giving a childish pout.

"I was going to let you use my shower after me, but seeing as we've only got half an hour before you've got to go, I think we should just take one together."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Saves on water and energy. I'm very environmentally conscious."

"We're in deep space; you don't have an environment to be conscious about."

"Look." Shepard raised an eyebrow "You can lie there and poke holes in my logic," She prodded the Liara's navel with a finger. "Or we can jump in the shower and we can..." she trailed off, tracing her finger down the crease between the Asari's thigh and abdomen.

"I'll leave with you that thought, while I go heat up the water."

She left a lingering kiss on indigo lips before seductively swaying up to the shower room.

Liara enjoyed the view before jumping off the bed herself, hurrying after her human companion. Passing the desk, she froze.

.

* * *

.

Shepard clamped her hand instinctively over Vari's eyes at the appearance of her very naked Bond Mate. She swallowed, seriously doubting she would ever get over just how _gorgeous _Liara looked or how she would react upon seeing her nude. Purple burst over the Asari's face, embarrassed. However she didn't move to cover her more intimate areas, instead she rubbed her arm nervously, looking cowed.

"I-y-you're real."

Shepard only gave a reassuring smile as she tried to make Liara feel as comfortable as possible. She mimicked the smirk her twin had displayed earlier and shrugged.

"I hate to say I told you so..."

"No you don't." She teased back, still slightly bashful. Shepard gave a happy sigh before motioning her head towards the shower room.

"Go on then, don't keep me waiting."

With a timid nod of her head, she opened the door.

Standing up, Shepard sighed, pleased. Picking up Vari, she moved to leave. Stopping at the shower door, she hammered on the metal, confident only Liara would hear her and shouted through.

"Take as long you want in there, you're gonna be late any way."

Satisfied with an indignant moan, she exited the cabin.

.

* * *

.

Shepard woke in the med bay feeling light and refreshed, a stupid grin plastered across her face.

Walking to Liara's bedside, she took one of the Asari's hands in her right and placed her left on the growing bump.

_It's not long now. We'll be together soon. I promise_.

She felt a kick from the bump and smiled.

_I keep my promises._


	10. Still Not Short Round

**A/N** - Sorry for the delay. Life was being rude, gettin' all up in my grill and stuff. Regardless, here we are!

Side note; we're on the home stretch now, thing's'll be wrapping up. As such, this is a super talky chapter so yeah, hope y'all like dialogues and monologues and all sorts of loguey goodness.

.

* * *

.

Staring out at the expanse of neatly cornered off land, Shepard let out a low whistle.

"Sure you're plans are going to be big enough, Tali?"

"Without a doubt Shepard. And even if I have made a mistake in my calculations," she cut across the Commander, pointing a finger to silence her before she spoke "_Which I haven't,_ I can more than make it up with sheer quantity. And if you don't believe me, I'm more than willing to talk you through my seventy gigabytes of blue prints again."

Shepard's eyes widened in horror as flash backs of the previous night ran through her head. Some point after the twelfth slide on the apparent benefits of Thessian Sequoioidiliae decking over that of the Panjessic Asteroid's Cheem - _Wood was wood, right? - _Shepard and Garrus had drifted off on one another's shoulders and had subsequently been woken by a rather vigorous shock to the nose and mandible. Apparently nerve stim packages were externally applicable as well.

"No, no, I trust you, 'Zorah, I trust you."

Tali walked over the Shepard's side, taking her arm and leaning into the Commander, hugging her.

"I'm going to have home! It still hasn't quite sunk in yet. I've never owned anything like Property before."

"Neither have I, unless you count squatting in an abandoned brothel as 'owning'," Shepard said with a shrug. "It wasn't too bad. Comfy beds at least, y'know, after you clean the sheets and _deloused_." She grimaced slightly, before moving on.

"Never owned a place or paid rent in my life, and I'm thirty... _something._ Is that sad?"

Garrus came to join the pair looking over the small field, his arms crossed.

"Oh I don't know Shepard, since you saved the Galaxy for the umpteenth time; I guess we'll let you off."

Shepard smirked and turned to begin the trek back to the Normandy.

"Ha ha, Vakarian. Another word and I'll have you scrubbing latrines with that infernal contraption _you_ call a tooth brush."

"Actually, Commander..."

Shepard turned around, bemused, to find Garrus and Tali standing where she left them, his arm around her shoulder.

"... I, uh, won't be coming with you. I'll be staying on Rannoch. With Tali."

Shepard drifted back to the pair, stunned, trying to process what she had heard. When confronted with her continued silence, the couple were overcome with anxiety as they stumbled over their words.

"It's just, with the rebuilding..."

"...to get settled..."

"...us dextros got to stick together, eh? -"

"Guys, guys," Shepard held up her hands, a wide grin across her face. "It's okay, I'm happy for you, really." Tali's posture visibly relaxed and while Garrus lost some stiffness, he retained an air of rigidity.

"All the same, Shepard, it's just... when you touch down in Thessia, you'll be giving up the Normandy and without a private ship, it'll take a while to get back to Palaven, and even longer to get here. They're setting up a Turian embassy, thought I could lend my talons, you know?"

"But there's still no Shepard without Vakarian, we're just a phone call away. And you're welcome any time."

The Commander beamed, seeing her friends flustered like this. It had been the three of them from the beginning, never faltering, never questioning. She was going to miss them. But she was happy. She just wished Rannoch wasn't half a galaxy away.

"And anyway," Garrus continued. "You'll have your hands full, no time for the old dream team."

"Yeah." She responded dreamily, a stupid grin plastered across her face. "I'm having a baby." _Oh god. I'm having a baby. _She turned back to the plot of land, mind racing.

"I haven't even started looking at houses. I don't even know where we're going to live. I don't even know how to raise a baby. Are Asari the same as humans? I mean, I just assumed they were, they look kinda the same but what if they're like, super biotics? Like, I'm standing there, changing her and smack! She hits me with a singularity or I'm floating through the air in stasis? What if-"

Shepard hadn't noticed Tali pounce on her, wrapping her in a tight embrace

"Shepard, you'll be fine. And if you ever need a break, you know where we live, now. Oh! That reminds me, Garrus, I need your opinion on the guest room; I don't know whether to go for Amethyst or Wisteria. Amethyst would look good in the morning, but it might get a bit overpowering come late afternoon..." Tali had already opened her omnitool and was tapping out notes and addendums furiously. Garrus shot Shepard a pleading look.

"Regretting your decision on switching the snipes for drapes, already?" she whispered, as Tali began debating the benefits of puce. The Turian let out a low hum of concurrence. She gave a bemused smirk.

"Well, I'll leave you two lovebirds to your project." She gave both her companions tight hugs before popping off an exaggerated salute. Beginning to walk backwards, she called out once more.

"Hey! Get that guest quarters up fast, you're gonna be getting a lot of blue in that room. Give you time practice for your own."

Tali all but jumped out of her suit as she let out a squeal, inspired. Shepard turned around and continued her journey, cackling madly at the horror ingrained in her Turian friend's plates.

.

* * *

.

Reclining on the lounger, Shepard stared rapt at the data pad in her hand. _Perhaps Tali was on to something_. The strategist within the Commander flourished at the organisation and careful preparation involved in getting everything just _perfect_. Within the four hours she had returned to the Normandy, Shepard had already head hunted several houses on several planets perfect for balancing family life and sustaining Liara's Brokering business and developed floor plans for each individual house. They needed a family shuttle, of course but Shepard saw no harm in procuring a new X2R Cruiser just in case... _something. _She shook her head, banishing the thought. _I'll think up a good excuse later. _

Rubbing her bleary eyes, Shepard glanced across to her Bondmate. _Not long now_. She still didn't fully understand how Liara would wake up or what would happen. The fear and uncertainty gnawed away gently at the back of her mind but Shepard was reticent to give it further attention and thought. Instead, she turned her attention to the Med Bay around her.

This was her ship, but in a week, it would have a new captain and crew, ready for new adventures. She would be sad to see it go. After all, both it and its predecessor had been her home for the past four years, despite the whole dying business, it had been the most stability she had ever had in her life. She was still undecided on how depressing that was or how it reflected on her.

Landing on Thessia would unofficially call an end to her tenure with the Alliance. No longer 'Commander', She would just be 'Shepard' or maybe 'Alex'. It would feel strange having people other than Liara call her that. She frowned slightly at the wistfulness that washed against her life flashed before her eyes. She could imagine it now in lights. _'From Street Rat to Spectre: The Shepard's Tale'_. The Commander groaned inwardly at the probability that such a vid was probably already in production.

She began to wonder about the possible paths her life would take. It felt completely alien trying picture herself fifty years from now. Then she remembered her synthetics and her new life span. There had been no such thing as a thousand year old human before. What would she look like then? Would she age at a slower pace? Or would she end up a shrivelled husk of a person that could fit in a bird cage and dress like a gnome? Anything could happen.

One thing was constant, though. No matter what, Liara would be there with her and together they would experience what this new Galaxy, rising from the ashes, surpassing the Protheans, Inusannon and others before them. The future was truly unchartered territory and Shepard felt a quiet excitement at experiencing it with her friends, her family.

Her gaze lingered of the prone body in the bed and sighed.

_I just need you to wake up._

_._

* * *

.

"There were a lot of reasons I was happy to see you on Mars."

"I'd like that list, but... later? There's so much left to do."

With an apologetic smile, Liara moved from Shepard's arms over to the Broker terminal.

"I'm working with EDI, trying to discover what else the Protheans left us, but I'm looking forward to talking about something other than business. Maybe later?"

Shepard came up behind her, wrapping her arms around her waist and rested her chin on the Asari's right shoulder. She eyed the expanse of screens apprehensively.

"I don't know how you do It." she sighed before pecking Liara on the cheek. "And I'll hold you to that."

Liara continued working, eyes not moving from the screens as Shepard left, posturing at Glyph as the drone bid her farewell. Silence, save for the hum of engines and processors, filled the room. Basking in the artificial glow of the screens, it amazed Liara to watch as by and large, the Galaxy just continued on as normal when the biggest threat to existence were busy raining down hell fire in a system, especially on a Council species' home world. The enormity of what she and the Normandy crew were about to embark on was sinking in. Looking through her data banks, it was also becoming worryingly apparent just how alone they would be in facing the horde.

It would take a miracle or five for the Commander to even dream of ending this war with any modicum of success. The odds of survival were nonexistent. _Then again, Shepard had never been one to pay attention to things as trivial as chance or logic_. Liara gave a weary sigh as she smiled gently. _Shepard; that impossible woman. There would come a time when her luck would run out eventually. _Liara dreaded that day.

She felt a chin nestle itself on her right shoulder once more. She didn't recall Glyph announcing anyone's presence in the cabin, but only one person would have the gall to infringe on her personal space in such a way. A smirk played across her face as she rolled her eyes.

"Shepard, when I said later, I meant this evening, not five minutes. You are incorrigible."

A voice piped up from somewhere over her left.

"I was thinking 'indomitable', but that works too, I guess. Oh and, uh, it's not _luck_, it's _skill_."

Liara spun around. Shepard sat reclining in her chair, hands behind her head and feet up on one of the Asari's smaller server units, with a grin that on anybody else, would compel Liara to smack it clean off their face. Instead she glanced down at her right shoulder. There lay Vari, eyes closed but brandishing the same insufferable smirk found on her human compatriot. Liara raised her eyebrows and looked down at the child with mock disapproval. _You know, you're just as bad as she is. _Vari merely nodded her head in agreement, before clambering over the elder Asari's shoulder and snuggling into her chest.

It struck Liara that she had never really questioned this child, instead just accepting her and the Commander's intermittent appearances through her life. She shrugged. There had been a lot of things that didn't quite add up lately that she had either failed or had been afraid to query, as if the world would fall apart if she examined them just a touch too closely.

She turned her attention back to Shepard, regarding her. The cocky grin had been replaced with a, warm and gentle smile, one that never failed to banish all grievances from Liara, if only for a short while. She tried her best to look annoyed.

"I trust there is a reason for your visit, Commander? I'm very busy. There is a war on, you know."

"I do know. And I also know that the galaxy won't crumble just because your favourite pasty primate wants to have a chat with you."

"_Favourite pasty primate?"_

"Yeah. And you're my favourite... blue... what are Asari? Not mammals 'cause you've got kinda scales but then you're not reptiles cause you sweat don't lay eggs..." Shepard squinted off into middle distance, thinking. "I should probably look into that, all things considered." She looked up at her soon to be family standing in front of her. "I am the worst Bon-" _Too soon. Not yet_. "-_nGirlfriend _ever." She attempted to flash a reassuring grin, hoping Liara hadn't noticed her slip.

She had, but the rare sight of Shepard flustered compelled her to take pity on the human and ignore it. Instead she gave a warm smile as she sighed.

"What do you want, Shepard?"

"Like I said, it's been ages since we just _talked. _Come on, Li, chew the fat with me."

Liara took the seat adjacent the Commander, a puzzled expression dancing across her face.

"Chew the...?"

Shepard quickly waved her hand dismissively, shaking her head, muttering something about a human term. Silence fell between the pair as Liara studied the Commander, whose brow was furrowed, a question on the tip of her tongue. Eventually she plucked up the courage to ask.

"Do you ever think about the future?"

This took Liara by surprise. Apart from a few glib remarks here and there, Shepard had never talked much about the day past tomorrow. And, truth be told, neither had she, really. Her life had been devoted to Protheans for half a century. The only thing that managed to draw her attention away from that was Shepard and her mission. But then there had always been one more assignment or one more goose chase that always seemed to pull the finish line just out of reach. Then Shepard had died and Liara couldn't bear to think about the present, let alone the future. Even when she had came back, Liara had almost immediately found herself as the new Shadow Broker and so wrapped up in other people's minutia she ended up giving little thought to her own.

Of course, with recent events, the future was a particularly unstable concept. Part of her was hesitant to imagine a life with Shepard outside the Normandy purely because she feared it would never happen, instead leaving her with bitter 'what ifs?' and dreams of what could have been. Even just the reasoning behind her thoughts was enough to make Liara fidget uncomfortably in her seat. She glanced at Shepard.

"Why?"

Shepard gave a small shrug and kept her tone light. However Liara felt he Commander's gaze penetrating her very core, evaluating every little nuance and tic in her body language. It was the analytical gaze the Commander gave foes before deciding her course of action, raising Liara's suspicions in regards to where this line of questioning was going.

"Just humour me. Back at Hagalaz, you asked me a question, one that I didn't ask back. If this all ended tomorrow, what would you want, Liara? Forget me; I'll follow you through the gates of hell if I have to. But what about this?" She motioned to the bank of screens.

Liara considered for a moment. Five years ago, if someone were to tell her she would be the most powerful person in the Galaxy, she would have laughed them all the way to the Asylum. Now however, she struggled to imagine life without the Network.

"I-I don't know. I don't think I could just abandon being the Shadow Broker. I mean, no matter what happens, Shepard, people are always going to be taking an interest in either of us. At least this way I can control the less... _legitimate_ sources of attention. However I would like to go back to studying the Protheans, perhaps focus on an area other than their imminent death."

"Yeah. We seem to have that part in the bag. So why don't we go tomb hunting? I can be the Marion to your Indy, translating tablets and all that stuff with the Cipher and getting us caught in snake pits."

This earned a soft smile from the Asari.

"I suppose, but how would we account for the drop in Broker activity while we're away? And what of your Spectre duties? I'm not leaving your side Shepard."

Shepard met Liara's anxious gaze with one of conceited confidence and cracked her fingers. _Take a pew, Blue because I am about to blow your mind..._

"...and when we finally want to throw in the towel, we find some abandoned silo in the ass end of nowhere and blow it up. The Shadow Broker is 'dead', Spectre Shepard retires and we get to ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after. Any of your agents ask about the drop in activity, just say you're incognito, make 'em think you've got spies in the organisation. Anyone asks me, I'll tell them it's need to know, keep 'em quiet. So how about it?" Shepard reclined in her chair, waiting for Liara's appraisal.

"Well, I- it sounds like it'll work." She paused for a moment before deciding her verdict. "I trust you Shepard. And if it doesn't work, you'll find a way. 'No' is not in your vocabulary."

"Incorrigible." The Commander gave smug grin.

"_Pig-headed."_ Liara corrected

"I'll take it." Shepard sniffed, as she sat thinking for a moment, letting her small victory sink in. "I, uh, have other plans but they can wait 'till later. I've got some calls to make."

She stood and moved to give Liara a kiss on her crest before repeating the action with her daughter when her breath caught in her throat. With all hints of wispiness gone, Vari looked like she was sleeping. Her nose scrunched slightly, splaying the mass of pink freckles over sky blue skin, just as Liara's did. Shepard's eyes began to sting as her nose prickled slightly.

Forcefully tearing herself away from the pair, Shepard stood awkwardly, unwilling to go. Not trusting her voice she gave a small nod to Liara before making for the exit.

Walking out the door, Shepard found herself standing in the Presidium Commons. _What?_ She was ready to go now and set _Operation: Pretend to Kill the Shadow Broker while and Retire From the Spectres_ into motion, shortly before embarking on _Operation: Think Up Better Names for Stuff. _Huffing, her attention was quickly drawn to a young family conversing in the basin of the Market.

.

* * *

"My mother and I lived beside a park. I spent hours there."

"Doing what?"

"Reading, exploring, getting in trouble digging for ruins in the grass." She lowered her head, slightly bashful before frowning. _Shepard should know this. She was there, wasn't she? _Liara smiled wistfully down at the child precariously balancing herself on the railing, looking up at her with rapt eyes that Liara was all too familiar with.

"You're kidding? You know, that's actually pretty cute." Shepard grinned, completely unaware of the infant mimicking her expression, currently watching the scene unfold.

The Commander stood back by the kiosks, unwilling to interrupt the conversation, fiercely jealous of her doppelganger's position. With Vari lacking the ethereal fog that usually surrounded her, the three of them looked normal. Just... _normal_. Shepard let out a happy sigh. _Soon_. Glancing over, Vari spotted her father and kicked her legs excitedly before her attention was once more drawn to the couple next to her.

Liara looked out to the foliage beneath her as she leaned on the railing, resting her chin on her hand, a sad smile across her face

"I wish we could spend more time together like this... just friends."

Shepard snapped back from the railing, running her fingers through her hair and pacing in a small circle.

"No, no I can't do this, I'm done, T'Soni. Nuh uh."

Liara watched her, momentarily worried. Shepard fixed her with a stern stare at odds with her comically blunt tone.

"'Friends' doesn't cut it for me anymore, Liara."

"Wow. That sounds serious." She responded, her voice dropping an octave, hesitant to push the Commander further than she was willing to go. The playful glint in Shepard's eye vanished immediately, all traces of kidding thrown aside as she took the Asari's hands in her own.

"I am serious. Whatever happens, I'd like to spend my life with you."

"Then you're extremely lucky that I feel that way too." She tossed back playfully at her Bondmate. Shepard met her with a predatory stare before closing the gap between the two, flashing an insufferably smug smirk.

"I know."

They kissed. Liara's stomach fluttered as Vari made a disapproving gurgle from the sidelines. This time felt different. Better. As if reaffirming what they already knew, strengthening connections that were previously there. It was all over far too soon for Liara's liking as the buzz of an omnitool cried for attention. Breaking the kiss, Shepard groaned as Joker's voice crackled over the connection.

"Commander, we're having a little clerical issue with the Obelisk of Karza, need you to come to Bay D24 and clear it up."

Shepard rolled her eyes as she fought the urge to punch something. Calming herself, she spoke in strained monotone.

"Copy that. I'll be right down." Exhaling loudly she began muttering.

"I'm going to spend the rest of my life finding a cure for his disease just so I can kick his ass from here to Hades Nexus." She pointed a stern finger at Liara.

"We will continue this later. I love you."

With that she marched off, crowds parting in her wake. Liara turned back to her young companion. Her expression slackened as the final piece of the puzzle clicked into place. She reached out a tentative finger, stroking the small Asari from crest to cheek. Her voice was barely a whisper.

"You..."

"Room for one more?" a voice asked cautiously from behind her. She turned to see Shepard walking up awkwardly, hands clasped behind her back. She felt her eyes fill with moisture as she clasped a hand over her mouth. Shepard immediately stood straight, concern etched in every corner of her face.

"Is this a bad time? Do you want me to-?"

"No! No, it's just," Liara swallowed, trying to compose herself as she looked for the right words.

"She's got your eyes."

Shepard's shoulders drooped as she searched the Asari with a confused look. She turned to Vari for assistance before finally understanding what had been said.

_Oh_. Embedded in the tiny face that was quite essentially _Liara, _sat two glittering emerald eyes. Liara had always mentioned her love for Shepard's eyes but she had never quite seen it herself. Now however, Shepard understood. They were beautiful. _Vari was beautiful._ It was as if the universe had taken all that was good from Shepard and Liara and compressed into a tiny ball of sheer brilliance. Growing up, whatever she did, whoever she became, she was going to be _fantastic_.

Her lip quivering, she looked back at her Bondmate.

"Yeah."

Liara launched herself at Shepard, wrapping her arms tightly around the Human's neck. Shepard held her just as fiercely, drinking in the Asari's essence as her mind was flooded with what she could only describe as unadulterated, undiluted, complete and utter _Liara_.

Vari clapped enthusiastically as Shepard gathered her in her arms, bringing the child into the small nook between her mother and father. As they touched foreheads, a stray thought caused Liara's brow to knit.

"Why are we here?"

Shepard took a small step back, deflating slightly.

"It's kind of a long story." She said, almost hesitant

"I've got time."

Shepard sighed before nodding. She spent the next several minutes recounting their journey, lightly glossing over the details of the fight in London, barely making mention of any Banshee. She then caught Liara up to date on the work since then; rebuilding, taking over as the Shadow Broker, the slow whittling of the Normandy squad, plans to retire from the Alliance leading in to her recounting of the Spectre and Shadow Broker business.

While Liara listened raptly, Vari only half paid attention, not really understanding the words the adults were using and instead lost herself within her parents' oneness, the connection hanging n the air like a pleasant breeze, wafting around the small family.

Once the human had finished, Liara mulled over the words, unsatisfied.

"That still doesn't explain why I – _we_ are here, though."

"I know." Shepard shrugged apologetically. "We've got a thousand year old midwife Matriarch on the Normandy who's seen everything, and even she doesn't really understand what's going on."

Shepard's features darkened as twenty months of fear and uncertainty bubbled to her surface.

"All I know is that we need you to wake up, Liara. _I need you. _I miss you. I can't do this alone. I'm not strong enough. I want to help you, be there for you, fix this, but I don't know how."

Averting her eyes, a painful lump formed in Shepard's throat as tears stung her eyes. Vari leaned into her father, trying to fill her with as much trust and confidence as she could. Liara cupped the Human's face in her hands, tilting her head towards her.

"Shepard, look- _Alex, look at me._"

Against her better judgement, Shepard found herself staring into her Bondmate's eyes as droplets clung to her eye lashes. Liara continued in a tone, that while gentle, brokered no argument.

"You're here now and you're doing all you can."

"But what if it's not enough? What if it doesn't change anything? I can't lose you."

"It will be, it has and you won't. You've done all you can and now it's my turn. You have to trust me, okay? I'll come back. I'll find a way. I promise."

"How?"

"I don't know. Remember on Illium, not even death could stop you. You came back and even though I was scared and pushed you away time and time again, you never gave up. You found a way. Well now it's my turn. You're not the only one who's stubborn."

Shepard gave a weak snort as her lashes dried, the lump abating.

"You're incorrigible."

Liara give a small tilt of her head, wrinkling her nose.

"Pig-headed."

This brought out a broad smile in the pair. They stood with their foreheads touching, enjoying the peaceful silence a minute longer, before Shepard straightened slightly.

"You know, if we're going have a go at this domestic thing, we're gonna need a house."

"Do you have any in mind?"

"Oh, _several_." Shepard smiled, the glint returning to her eyes.

"First one's just outside Armali and has this _huge_ garden..."


	11. Déjà Blue

Shepard's hand hovered over 'send' as an excited jitter overcame her. This was it. One tap and she'd send her report on the Shadow Broker to the Council, her broadcast to all agents and commence the solar cycle countdown to when an unassuming news room intern would receive a career making info dump in their inbox from a mysterious [REDACTED]. She was a mere inch away from changing her life forever. A tight knot developed in her stomach. When she was deciding the fate of everyone else, it was objective, simple, easy. She knew what she had to do. But when it came to more personal matters? There was a reason Shepard had flourished in the colder military setting. And it wasn't because she was good with guns.

Steeling herself, Shepard took the plunge. As she let out a breath she hadn't realised she had been holding, she sank into the seat of the XO office. Now it was just a matter of time. Soon enough, the Council would call, demanding further briefing that she would refuse to give and sometime tomorrow, Shepard could look forward to a barrage of fervent reporters wanting the exclusive inside scoop from the Galaxy's most sought after Spectre.

She spun round, surveying the cabin. The Broker servers now sported small wheels and the closest approximation to handles that Shepard could fashion. Four boxes were arranged neatly on the bed, filled with her and Liara's personal belongings. Only one box actually belonged to Shepard. Any personal affections she had cared for were currently in orbit around Alchera, having been lost or destroyed along with the first Normandy or sitting amidst some rubble in Vancouver. All she had left was her Space Hamster and some books. She sighed. _At least it made moving simple. _

Checking her Omni, the Normandy had seven hours before making port in Fel'Ria, Thessia. Shepard still wasn't sure how to feel about leaving. She was definitely a little scared, more from the unknown than anything else. She had never really known civilian life. Even before the Alliance, she had eked out a life off records, as nothing more than a shadow on the streets. Alex Shepard didn't technically exist until the eve of her eighteenth birthday, an early present being a new identity and forged documentation.

She quickly banished the fear from her mind with a shake of her head._ Silly thoughts. This is what you've been fighting for since Therum. Now you're finally within reach and you're getting cold feet? Pull it together Shepard. _

Her thoughts were interrupted as a voice crackled through her Omni.

"Shepard, Med Bay, Now. It's happening."

Ice ran through the Commander's veins. _Oh god. This is it. _She swallowed and gave a nod, not that Matriarch could see it. Bounding to her feet, every muscle in Shepard's body clenched as it always did going in to battle, as if testing to make sure she was ready for action. Taking a deep breath, she bolted from the Office.

_Show time._

_._

* * *

_._

Nine hundred and fifty two years of bringing forth Athame's daughters and she had never experienced one like this. It was the first time in two centuries she had found herself surprised. Eileithyia didn't like surprises. Looking at her, it would be hard to spot and she would never admit it, but she was nervous. Nervousness never did anyone any good. Not in these situations. Luckily, one of her earliest skills learned in the job had been her ability to affect a mask at any given time. To the outside world, Matriarch Eileithyia was the epitome of cool, calm collectiveness, regardless of her disarray on the inside.

She glanced at the woman working diligently beside her. Karin, she had asked to be called, matched the Matriarch's composed exterior and quiet confidence that could only be gained through a lifetime's experience. Eileithyia saw her as an equal, which felt preposterous to the Asari. Humanity lived for a fraction of her life span and as such, should have little to no understanding in any sort of affairs. Yet here was a woman who was a Matriarch in all but name and was only, what, 60? At that age, Eilidh was the star attraction at Flux and nought but a diamond encrusted g-string to her name. If nothing more, Humanities ability to collate knowledge and shape their worlds with it was to be commended. Eileithyia idly wondered what insight the species would be able to give if blessed with even a marginally lengthier expiration date.

Her musings were cut short by the violent shaking in the bed beside her. The T'Soni girl was convulsing aggressively as a battle raged within her mind. As a stranger, Eileithyia was effectively barred from the younger Asari's mind, therefore rendering her useless in the ability to offer mental comfort. That's where family came in; mothers, sisters, cousins, aunts. Liara had none of these, of course. _That would be too simple. _It wasn't as if it was complicated enough, conducting a birth with a wholly unconscious mother during the most mentally draining experience she would ever endure. She sighed, running her fingers from her forehead to the tips of her crest.

Shepard burst through the door, falling into a stumble as she reached the bed. Chakwas was immediately upon the Commander, offering her support as she regained her balance and guided her over the bed. Eileithyia glanced up at the Human. She was staring blindly, looking around but unable to focus. Her irises were all but engulfed by the black of her pupils, currently clouded over with a dark fog as her eyes whipped rapidly from side to side as if reading scrolling text. Her mouth moved quickly, speaking in hushed whispers. Shepard grasped for her Bondmate's hand and delicately reached out for her cheek.

"L-Liara?"

.

* * *

.

As she ran through the Med Bay door, The Commander found herself in familiar, rubble strewn streets. But she was still in the med bay. It was a strange experience. She could feel the whistle of the wind as it whipped its way through the buildings and the sounds of brutal fighting in the distance. At the same time, she was faintly aware of the gentle hum of air conditioning, the smell of anti-septic and steady beep of medical machinery. It was as if she was receiving two different feeds, overlapping and intertwining with each other. There was another sound that echoed only in her skull; a conversation sharply remembered and not easily forgotten.

"This is it, isn't it?"

_L-Liara?_

"Yeah, this is it."

_Like hell it is._ She began running, more on instinct than anything. She'd find Liara, she'd find Vari. _We'll be together, we'll be safe. _

"I don't know what to say. All those little blue children will be disappointed I didn't have a speech." Bravado and flippancy barely concealed the quiver in Liara's voice. _No, no, no no no. _Another voice sounded in her head, but this one was different, distant, melting in with the sounds of the Med Bay.

_Commander, can you hear me? See me?_

_What? I-yes, I think. I can't see though. Oh god, where are you Liara?_ Her thoughts took on a pleading tone. Eileithyia's voice interrupted.

_No. Banish those fears, Commander. You have to be strong now, for all three of you. _Shepard nodded, unsure if her movements carried over into the physical realm as she drove the fright away.

"We'll make up a good story for them."

Shepard began running. She picked up traces of panic and insecurity. They were close.

_Commander, find the child. The readings are erratic. She may not last_.

_Shit. Okay. _She was beginning to recognise the area. She flashed passed hazy interpretations of her squad, James, Ash, Garrus. But her sights were only set on one person, one destination.

"I do have one thing for you, Alex. It'll only take a moment, if you want it."

_Damn this door_. The green reticule rotated painfully slowly. As soon as she could, she wedged herself through the slight opening and was bounding across the walkway and waited anxiously for the second door to open, every fibre of her being pulling her back from ramming her boot through the infernal contraption.

"Show me."

Shepard was immediately thrashed by a wall of neediness and desperation. Finally landing eyes upon Liara, Shepard found the Asari and her Doppelganger, foreheads touching and hands entwined. She made a mental note of the tiny flourish of life that flared between the two. She would have cared more about the scene but right now, she had her family to find. _Goddamn it, Vari. Why'd you always have to hide? _

Shepard swept past the couple, hastily overturning tables and gurneys, looking for hints of life. She closed her eyes and focused. She couldn't feel her. _Shit. Why couldn't she feel her? _Barely controlling her panic she grabbed Liara round the shoulders, giving her a firm shake, snapping her out of the meld. _Can't be delicate. No time. _Liara blinked groggily for a few seconds as she reoriented herself. Her doppelganger seemed not to notice, still lost in the apparent meld.

The room was swimming. _That's not how it went_. She hadn't even seen the light yet. She felt the ghost of warmth on her cheek and around her hand, as if someone was holding her, but no one was. Liara's vision quickly centred on her Bondmate. But she wasn't in her armour. _Strange_. Panic began ebbing into her being.

"I-wha- _Shepard_?"

"Vari. Where is she?"

"What?"

"_The child_. We need to find her. We need you to wake up." Shepard's voice quaked and broke with emotion. The Human quickly shook her head. The panic Liara had felt was swiftly replaced by an overwhelming, if artificial, calm, before the Commander continued in a steady, deliberate tone.

"Have you seen her? It's important. It's happening. We need her. Now."

"I don't- no. I haven't seen her."

Shepard's lips trembled as she bit back a curse. Centring herself again, she gave Liara a piercing gaze.

"We have to go." She stormed out the back of the room. Liara glanced behind her, the armoured Shepard continuing the conversation as if Liara was still with her, voice little more than a whisper.

"No matter what happens," she gave a laboured breath.

"You mean everything to me, Liara." A hand reached out to cup a non-existent cheek.

"You always will." She leaned against a forehead that was no longer there.

Liara felt whispers of the conversation she already had.

_I am yours_.

Shepard smiled softly, as if hearing the remark.

"I love you. Now let's do what needs to be done."

Liara glanced at the figure a second more, before bolting through the door.

.

* * *

.

Liara exited the room and found herself on the battlefield. _That's not right. There was a speech. And Anderson. _The scene around her wobbled and glitched, unsure how to react to Shepard's interference. What was happening was outside its perimeters. Her mind itched furiously as it attempted to paste over the cracks. She spotted Shepard, rummaging through piles of rubble, shouting out reassurances that Liara felt did little to calm the situation.

_Christ, where is she?_

"Sweetie? Daddy's here, it's okay. Just let me find you. You're safe, okay?"

She stood straight, having upturned yet another pile of debris, struggling to keep the rising fear at bay. She ran her fingers through her hair as her eyes darted about wildly, looking for any signs of life.

"Shepard! Over there." Liara pointed to the wreck of a Mako as she began making her way towards it. She felt a slight shiver a fear not her own trickle down her spine. Together, the pair dug, Shepard punching a hole in the roof of the vehicle. _At least the laws of physics weren't an issue._

The Commander let out a triumphant bark as she spotted the bundle, huddled in a crevice, as far removed from the noise and lights as possible. She clutched the infant tightly to her chest.

"I am never letting you out of my sights ever again, you hear me?" She looked at Liara, relieved, before her eyes shifted behind the Asari's shoulder, widening in fear.

Glancing around, Liara saw husks converging on their position. Her mind had decided on using her nightmares to banish the intrusion, it seemed. On impulse, Liara thrust her hand forward, hoping to throw out a singularity, warp, _anything_. The familiar blue crackle failed to appear. Instead, an invisible shockwave rippled through the air, the only hint of its presence being the slight distortion of the area it moved through. It did the trick though. The husks went flying backwards, burning and crumbling to ash before they hit the ground. The itch in her mind flared violently as she contradicted her memories once more.

"She's not responding."

Liara spun round to see Shepard, fear and bewilderment etched across her face. She held the child at arm's length, scrutinising her fearfully. Her eyes shot up to her Bondmate.

"Her eyes. They're black. She can't hear me. She's not reacting. Why isn't she reacting?"

The Human's brow quickly furrowed. For a second, Liara thought it was directed at her, before Shepard glanced to the side, as if trying to focus on a comm. link in her ear.

"She, what? I have to go inside _her_ mind? But I can't just enter; I have to be pulled in."

She brought her gaze back to Liara.

"Help me. Help me get inside her mind. We have to... _what_?" Her face fell as the frantic movements Shepard had shown before vanished, replaced by slumped shoulders and a quiet, broken voice, appalled.

"I... you can't make me- I can't just _choose_."

Her face looked ashen as all fight deserted her. Liara approached cautiously, fearful of what brought about the change in her Bondmate. Shepard averted her gaze, frightened to look at the Asari.

"Shepard, come on, look at me."

The Commander shook her head, staring intensely at a nearby rock.

"Alex. Look. At. Me." Liara cupped the human's cheek as Shepard finally brought her eyes up to meet her, terror radiating from every inch of her being. Liara kept her voice calm, soothing.

"What is it? What do you have to do?"

"I-I have to choose. Between you two. Vari, sh-she needs a meld so that she doesn't panic and choke herself during birth. But if I go with her, I can't get back to you. I don't know when you'll wake up. If you'll wake up." Her voice was but a whisper as her lip quivered violently.

"I can't lose you."

A thousand thoughts and emotions crashed through Liara's mind, creating a mask, devoid of all expression. _So this is what sacrifice feels like. _Numbness overcame her, one she hadn't felt since Illium. The course of action was clear, of course. In a way, the finality of it all brought a deep calm to her. She smiled at Shepard sadly, _one last act of comfort_.

"We both know what needs to be done." She gave a small laugh as she cupped Shepard's cheek in her hand. "You know what this means? You're the one in charge of preparing the speech."

Shepard attempted a smile, but succeeded only in a slight grimace. Her eyes bore into Liara as her voice remained a soft.

"I'll wait for you. _We'll_ wait. For however long. I'll be there."

The muffled sounds of the battlefield died completely, as the pair touched foreheads for the final time. As they parted Liara's eyes shifted black. Reaching out with her mind, she guided Shepard into the calm and gentle star field and the child's embrace. She blinked and they were gone. She was alone in the battlefield. Liara felt as the ghost of warmth on her cheek and hand vanished and she was hit by the overwhelming sense of emptiness. The silence was almost overbearing, emphasising her loneliness. She was numbly aware of Husks approaching in the distance and did little to acknowledge their presence. What was the point?

_There was always a point_. That's what Shepard would say. _She'd keep fighting until she found the point and then fight some more. What would Shepard think if I just let it happen? She'd be disappointed. She'd be disappointed that after four years I still hadn't learnt her one rule; Never give up._

_That's a lie. Shepard wouldn't be disappointed. I would be. Shepard never gave up. Not even in death. I can't give up. I'll go down fighting, sure, but at least I never gave up. Shepard deserves that much. I deserve that much._

The Husks were getting closer. Liara saw them and narrowed her eyes, a lopsided grin not her own spreading across her face. _May as well enjoy it._ She shot out blasts of energy, disintegrating the monsters, causing the entire scene to shift a creak dangerously. As she cut her way through the horde, she thought of her daughter. What she would be like growing up, the woman she would turn into_. Incorrigible. Indomitable. And she didn't get it all from Alex. _Behind, an unholy screech demanded her attention.

_The Banshee._ Liara's cocky grin was immediately engulfed in blind fury, as rage pricked every nerve in the Asari's body.

_You_. She whipped out a hand, slapping the beast with an almighty wave, causing a burst of ash to erupt from its chest. _You took away my family_. Another thrust, stumbling the Banshee_. I fought hard for them. For her_. She began running, pouncing on the stunned beast and slashing it asunder, swipes punctuating her ever word.

_You. Hurt. Them._

_You. Stole. Them. _

_No One. Hurts. My. Family. _

_No One. Steals. From. Me._

The Banshee crumbled into a cloud of dust. Covered in ash, Liara sat panting in a heap, a bead of sweat dripping down her forehead. The ground began shaking violently as the scene around her stuttered and trembled, her mind unable to deal with such a lapse in thought. The earth gave way, cracking as if made from egg shells. Her foot became trapped as she desperately tried to free herself. The ordeal only worsened as she found herself sinking into the earth and the landscape melted around her. The ground gave way to a star field. Her last thoughts were of falling as she lost herself to darkness.

.

* * *

.

Vari's mind was blank. Full of emotion and curiosity, yes, but lacking in any steadfast memory for Shepard to anchor herself to. Lacking visual or audio distraction, the Commander became more aware of the Med Bay around her. A screen was erected, shielding Shepard and a still unconscious Liara from the business end of child birth.

Shepard was still fully aware of the child, however. Vari was scared, confused, panicking. Instincts kicking in, the Commander enveloped her child in love and warmth, conveying a fierce protection over Vari that soothed the child. There were mumbled words of encouragement from the attending physicians, some directed at Liara, who couldn't hear them and others meant for Shepard, who took little notice. Suddenly feeling a cool chill over her body, the Human took a gasping breath. Silence reigned supreme for several moments, before the cry of a baby pierced the air. Shepard was immediately drawn to it, moving from Liara's side to the Matriarch, who handed her the child.

Her eyes slowly faded from black to green and the child gazed up at Shepard, still feeling the weak lingering of the bond. Strength she had never knew she was capable of surged within the Commander. She was more beautiful than she could have imagined. It was almost surreal, having this little person in her arms. Somehow, she managed to be the spitting image of Liara whilst remaining quite essentially Shepard all at the same time. Vari tilted her head, scrutinising her father, one eye squinting slightly in a way only her mother managed_._

"It's me, Dada." _Still weird_. She glanced to the other women in the room, and gave a small laugh, before returning her attention to the bundle.

Cradling her in the nook of her arm, Shepard extended a tentative finger, which the young Asari clumsily grasped at. The Commander smiled and the child attempted to mimic the expression, instead giving off a gummy grimace. It would take a while for her to fully master motor functions in the physical realm. She stroked the child's cheek.

"We'll get there."

Vari began searching for her other parent, confused by her absence.

"You want to see your Mama?" she said; voice an octave higher than she had ever heard it before. She made her way back up the bed and leaned over, angling the child over Liara. Vari looked back up at her father, puzzled by her mother's lack of response. Shepard stood straight again, as she struggled to find the right words. Regardless of whether she understood or not, she couldn't lie to the child. The tightening in her chest as realisation began to sink in sapped the human of any remaining confidence she had.

"M-Mama's sleeping just now. We just need to wait for her to wake up. Whenever that is."

Vari looked up at her father with uncertainty in her eyes. Shepard attempted a reassuring smile. It faltered as her lip trembled. And for the first time in a very long time, Commander Shepard began to cry.

.

* * *

.

There was a slight snoring_. _She stirred_. Ugh._ She felt sloppy. _Was it even possible to feel sloppy? _Her body thrummed with a dull ache radiating from her core, blunted by heavy duty pain killers that made her brain feel like soup. Groggily, she opened her eyes and squinted in the dim light. It was difficult to move. Everything was stiff. She attempted to let out a groan but even her throat refused flex. It was strange. She felt like she was in a dream. But she wasn't in a dream. Could she even tell the difference from a dream anymore? She tried to remember. Voices, names, thoughts, memories, anything. Her brothy mind refused. _These pain killers. Goddess._

The muscles in her neck creaking, she let her head fall to her side, to the source of her disturbance. Looking across, not even half a foot away, on a chaise longue, she saw a figure, three of its four limbs sprawled as it lay on its back. Fiery red hair lay unkempt, framing her face, sticking out at odd angles. Her mouth was open slightly, a small dribble edging its way out. This was the culprit.

But there was another sound, softer, quieter but definitely similar. Her eyes trailed down to the figure's chest, rising and sinking in a calming rhythm. Atop the chest, lay a smaller, bluer figure, one of the larger's hand draped protectively across its back. Its expression matched its older accomplice perfectly, right down to the slight furrowing of their brows, gentle cadence of their purring and the droplet of drool collecting at the corner of their mouths.

Reaching out, Liara took Shepard's free hand in her own, interlacing fingers as she gave a gentle squeeze. She gave a small smile as Shepard automatically gave a reassuring squeeze back. Watching the pair for a moment, Liara gave a contented sigh. _We made it. Hope I didn't keep you waiting too long_.

Wriggling into a marginally more comfortable position, not letting go of the Commander's hand, Liara relaxed and let herself drift off into a peaceful sleep, no longer worrying about nightmares of the past, instead letting her mind drift, dreaming of the life she had never dared imagine. She was looking forward to the morning and debriefing with her new family before embarking on her most important mission yet.

Priority: Future

Shepard was right. They really did have to find better names for these things.

.

.

* * *

.

"For a special report, we now head to Tony Simmons on Thessia. Tony?"

**TFNN BREAKING NEWS**

"Yes, thank you Alistair. I am just outside the Janiris Public Hospital in Fel'Ria where, if sources are to be believed, Commander Alexandra Shepard and Dr. Liara T'Soni checked in during the small hours of this morning with reports of a child also involved. The couple has been previously been known to have already established a relationship, however there have been few sightings of the couple together in the past two years. Several members of pro human interest group Terra Firma have come out in anger at the Commander's 'betrayal of the species that made her who she is today'."

"However, it is the revelation that not only is the Commander to reject honourable promotion and step down from her position in the Alliance to embrace her role as galactic Spectre, with her first target post-war is none other than the Shadow Broker himself."

"What can you tell us about the Shadow Broker, Tony?"

"Very little, Alistair, only that he is presumed to be one of if not the most influential persons in the Galaxy. Some argue his power is on par with that of the Council and may even-"

The crowd of reporters jostled behind him as the doors to the hospital opened, revealing two figures; one in formal military attire and the other in casual Asari dress, an indeterminate bundle in her possession. Wrapping an arm around Liara, Shepard began to push through the throng of reporters, intent on reaching their sky car without incident. They did a fine job of ignoring the crowd until one reporter caught her attention.

"Commander, what of the accusations that you are abandoning your species in favour of baser xenophillic interests and have campaigned tirelessly for, not only the inclusion of other species on the Council, but the removal of humanity's own seat?"

Shepard's eye twitched dangerously. She recognised the man's face from the Broker's dossier. Just her luck that the outlet she chose at random just so happened to be that of the Terra Firma News Network. _Should've checked before sending it out_. She kicked herself mentally as she approached the reporter. She gave a smile that possessed no warmth. _Time for a verbal beat down._

"Tony, was it? Yeah. I'm here about to embark on one of the most important missions the Galaxy has faced since the Reapers. I am going to wipe out the most dangerous man in existence and send a message to any other two bit gangsters and would be crime lords that this Galaxy is defended and we will not bend to their whim. _And you're worried about my sex life?"_

Pinching the bridge of her nose, she gave a heavy sigh. The man was undeterred.

"But there are allegations that you are a race trai-" _That did it_. She cut him off

"No. You know what? I'm tired of your parochial provincialism."

Before he had time to question what she meant, he felt a fist connect with his nose. The crack momentarily silenced the crowd as Shepard stalked off the join her new family. Ever the professional, the man turned back to the camera.

"Toby Sibbons, Fel'Wia, Thebbia, Tewwa Fiwmba Nooz."

Liara glared, unimpressed as Shepard strode up, pecking her on the cheek. Not achieving the mood change she had desired, Shepard shrugged defensively, her voice becoming momentarily high pitched.

"_What_?"

Liara sighed, trying to control the smirk threatening her face as she continued walking to the sky car. An amused gurgle sounded and a small blue arm practiced its swing from the bundle of blankets in her arms.

"See? At least she gets me."

.

.

* * *

.

So, yeah, there you go. Done and dusted. Hoorah!

Just going to ask for the usual; what do you think worked, didn't work blah blah. Be as mean as you like. I'm a big girl. I can take it.

Not got much else to say 'cept Thankee kindly for putting up with this all the way through, 'preciate it muchly.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go become Vampire Lord of Tamriel and then go punch a grieving widow in the face while dressed as a bat. Then I've got some DLC to catch up on.

**PPPPPPS**: You seem like the right crowd to ask, so I'll ask. I've never played Dragon Age before and apparently it's not bad and I'm looking into maybe getting it to stave off the Scottish summer. What says you, internet? Yay? Nay or something in between?


End file.
